Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Udhay Shankar N]

On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 9:40 AM, Udhay Shankar N  wrote:

We've discussed this here before (e.g. [1] [2]), but here's another
> worthwhile take, from a former colleague at Yahoo! and a recent silklister.
>
> Thoughts?
>
> Udhay
>
> [1] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silk-list/message/4965
> [2] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silk-list/message/37925
>
> http://blog.mizannethrope.com/post/45039337095/happiness-is-
> pine-sol-and-clorox-and-like-them-both


​
https://www.inc.com/betsy-mikel/yale-is-letting-anyone-take-its-most-popular-class-ever-for-free.html

When Yale began offering a new course this semester, over 1,000 students
jumped at the opportunity. It wasn't about business, technology or
innovation. It's about how to be happy.

Nearly a fourth of the undergraduate student body enrolled in Psyc 157:
Psychology and the Good Life. It quickly became the university's most
popular class in Yale's 316-year history.

Psychology and cognitive science professor Laurie Santos teaches the
course. In it, she covers the science behind positive psychology and
behavioral change. Students are required to embark on a self-improvement
project throughout the course.

"Students want to change, to be happier themselves," Santos told the The
New York Times.

Don't we all?

According to Santos, antidepressants are prescribed at 400 times the rate
they were 20 years ago. That's why Santos and Yale started offering an
adapted version of the course for free via online learning platform
Coursera. It's called The Science of Well-Being. (h/t to Quartz for the
news.)

Learning -- and practicing -- how to be happy
The Coursera lectures are filmed in Santos' own living room. With a casual
and personal approach, Santos hopes to reach people on a deeper,
habit-changing level.

"The hope is that this isn't gonna be an ordinary class or lecture series,"
Santos explains in an introductory video about the course. "This is the
kind of thing that we hope will change your life in a real way."



Santos believes understanding the science of happiness isn't enough. People
need to put that knowledge into practice. So The Science of Well-Being has
two areas of focus: Teach you about the science of happiness, and help you
learn how to "practice" happiness in your daily life.

Ultimately, the hope is that you'll finish happier than when you started.
That is, if you commit to doing so. "You're signing on to do that hard
part," Santos says.

The six-week course covers the following topics:

Misconceptions about happiness

Why our expectations are so bad

What stuff really increases happiness

Strategies to reset our expectations

Putting strategies into practice

Registration opened in March, and people have already started taking it.
One reviewer raved that the course was "much better than verbal therapy."
Currently the course has 31 reviews, which average four-and-a-half stars.

So will taking The Science of Well-Being make you happier? Guess there's
only one way to find out. ​

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Bruce Metcalf]

Shrabonti Bagchi shrabont...@gmail.com wrote:


I keep going back to this piece by Tim Kreider whenever someone talks
about finding the meaning of happiness

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/averted-vision/

Averted Vision

By TIM KREIDER


Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalized.
--  Gilbert K. Chesterton

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Shrabonti Bagchi]

I keep going back to this piece by Tim Kreider whenever someone talks
about finding the meaning of happiness

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/averted-vision/

Averted Vision

By TIM KREIDER

In 1996 I rode the circus train to Mexico City where I lived for a
month, pretending to be someone’s husband. (Don’t even ask.) I
remember my time there as we remember most of our travels — vivid and
thrilling, everything new and strange. My ex-fake-wife Carolyn and I
often reminisce nostalgically about our honeymoon there: ordering un
balde hielo from room service to cool our Coronas every afternoon, the
black-velvet painting of the devil on the toilet that she made me buy,
our shared hilarious terror of kidnapping and murder, the giant pork
rind I wrangled through customs. Which is funny, since, if I think
back honestly, while I was actually there I did not feel “happy.” In
fact, as mi esposa did not hesitate to point out to me at the time, I
griped incessantly about the noise and stink of the city — the car
horns playing shrill, uptempo versions of the theme from “The
Godfather” or “La Cucaracha” every second, the noxious mix of diesel
fumes and urine, the air so filthy we’d been there a week before I
learned we had a view of the mountains.


I was similarly miserable throughout the happiest summer I ever spent
in New York City. I was recovering from an affair that had ended
badly, and during my convalescence I was subletting a cool, airy
apartment a block from Tompkins Square Park, with a kitchen window
that looked out on a community garden. A theater troupe was rehearsing
a production of “The Tempest” out there, and I got used to the warped
rattling crash of sheet-metal thunder in the evenings. I happened to
catch “The Passion of St. Joan of Arc” on cable for the first time
late one night, a film I knew nothing about — it was grotesque and
beautiful, astonishing. One of the happiest memories of my life is of
sitting on top of the little knoll in the park with my friend Ellen,
eating a sweet Hawaiian pizza and waiting to see what movie would play
on the outdoor screen that was being inflated in front of us. (It
turned out to be “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”) Even though this whole
time I was preoccupied with thoughts of the woman I’d lost and
torturing myself with jealousy and insane fantasies of vengeance, in
retrospect it’s obvious now that the main thing I was doing that
summer was falling in love.

I wonder, sometimes, whether it is a perversity peculiar to my own
mind or just the common lot of humanity to experience happiness mainly
in retrospect. I have of course considered the theory that I am an
idiot who fails to appreciate anything when he actually has it and
only loves what he’s lost. Or perhaps this is all just what Michael
Chabon called “the ruinous work of nostalgia, which obliterates the
past.” But I think I recall that summer with such clarity and
affection for much the same reason that I remember my month in Mexico
City so fondly. The fresh heartbreak was, in a sense, like being in a
foreign country; everything seemed alien, brilliant and glinting. It
was as if I’d been flayed, so that even the air hurt. When you’re that
unhappy, any glimmer of beauty or consolation feels like running into
an old friend abroad, or seeing mountaintops through smog. Maybe we
mistakenly think we want “happiness,” which we tend to picture in very
vague, soft-focus terms, when what we really crave is the harder-edged
intensity of experience.

We do each have a handful of those moments, the ones we only take out
to treasure rarely, like jewels, when we looked up from our lives and
realized: “I’m happy.” One of the last times this happened to me,
inexplicably, I was driving on Maryland’s unsublime Route 40 with the
window down, looking at a peeling Burger King billboard while Van
Halen played on the radio. But this kind of intense and present
happiness is heartbreakingly ephemeral; as soon as you notice it you
dispel it, like blocking yourself from remembering a word by trying
too hard to retrieve it. And our attempts to contrive this feeling
through any kind of replicable method — with drinking or drugs or
sexual seduction, buying new stuff, listening to the same old songs
that reliably give us shivers — never quite recapture the spontaneous,
profligate joy of the real thing. In other words be advised that
Burger King billboards and Van Halen are not a sure-fire combination,
any more than are scotch and cigars.

I didn’t always enjoy being a cartoonist. During the 12 years of my
career, if I can call it that, I bored my friends and colleagues by
complaining bitterly about the insulting pay, the lack of recognition,
the short half-life of political cartoons as art. And yet, if I’m
allowed any final accounting of my days, I may find, to my surprise,
that I reckon those Fridays when I woke up without an idea in my head
and only started drawing around noon, calling friends at work for
emergency humor 

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Shoba Narayan]

 Message: 1
 Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2013 16:52:25 +0530
 From: Shrabonti Bagchi shrabont...@gmail.com
 To: silklist@lists.hserus.net
 Subject: Re: [silk] What is happiness?
 Message-ID:
   CADXEv+Nzi=fpt56nu2w5jh4lqolcb9k86rmjap_02v+gh5v...@mail.gmail.com
 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252
 
 
 I was similarly miserable throughout the happiest summer I ever spent
 in New York City. 

Maybe intensity is what we seek to escape the existential vacuum that Sartre 
talks about.

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Radhika, Y.]

 Hi Shiv! Really poetic description of your rite of passage back to
 India.  I have found that India never leaves you and it has nothing to do
 with the actual physical place - our mind, the placenta where the blood of
 the past and the future touch each other. Now that I find all physical
 evidence of my childhood is being destroyed in India (only time I find it
 is in a few remote Air Force bases), there is a chance to create anew.
 Empty mind, yes. You should check out a wonderful lecture by Allen Ginsberg
 on a site called Simply Haiku. Life in Vancouver, without snow or moose
 (what is the plural - mice???) is precious.




-- 
Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear
and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them
with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on
the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success.
Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream. ~ Lao Tzu
(courtesy -Peacefrog)

Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.
-- Lao Tzu, in Tao Te Ching

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Alaric Snell-Pym]

-BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-
Hash: SHA1

On 03/16/2013 01:21 PM, SS wrote:


 For decades I have insisted that happiness is inside the head, between
 one's ears.

 Over 20 years ago when I used to live in the UK I found Indians who had
 achieved their dream of leading a wealthy life abroad lamenting that
 they wanted to go back to India. There were whiny and unhappy.


*nod*

I think that a lot of people think that money will buy them happiness,
because many of the things restricting their happiness at the moment can
be solved with money.

But removing limitations to happiness doesn't automatically mean finding
happiness.

If I became rich, I suspect I would start by solving the problems in
my life that I can solve with the money I have, then allocate a fixed
budget to splashing out in order to throw away the constraints of
many, many, years of making do with what I had - then, with that out of
my system, settle down to living frugally again, and decide how to
wisely use the remaining money...

I did something along those lines when I inherited four thousand pounds
as a teenager: I replaced the computer whose limitations were holding
back my experiments in computer science, splashed out on meals and music
CDs and books for a while, then tucked the rest away into savings to see
me through University, having sated my desire for material acquisition.

Sadly, a stressful past decade has re-kindled that desire, so I'm
awaiting the opportunity to sate it again :-)

It's all relative, though. I have resources and a standard of living
that would seem unimaginable to some, but I see many of my peers living
much better for less work, and that creates the feeling of desire...

ABS (delurking somewhat due to a tidy-up of his mail folders making it
easier to follow lists again!)

- --
Alaric Snell-Pym
http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/alaric/
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Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Bonobashi]

On Mar 17, 2013, at 11:13 AM, Shoba Narayan sh...@shobanarayan.com wrote:

 ing happiness possible. 
 
 For decades I have insisted that happiness is inside the head, between
 one's ears.
 
 Over 20 years ago when I used to live in the UK I found Indians who had
 achieved their dream of leading a wealthy life abroad lamenting that
 they wanted to go back to India. There were whiny and unhappy. 
 
 I was planning on going back to India anyway, but did not want to regret
 that I did not try something that I could have done. I had decided
 against the US simply because I had medical qualifications from India
 and the UK and had no intention of requalifying in the US at an age when
 I could be teaching my teachers something. 
 
 I decided to check out Canada. For me the checking out route meant
 buying a practice and what was available was a practice in the town of
 Wadena (pop 1000), Saskatchewan.I visited Bangalore briefly before going
 to Canada. In Bangalore I happened to meet the mother of a young man
 living in Saskatoon who instantly (and very kindly) arranged for me to
 use his home as base while I checked out Wadena, 60 odd miles away. She
 spoke glowingly of her son and his wife. They had double of everything.
 Two cars. Two TVs. Two whatnots. Four bathrooms. This was 1989. 
 
 In February 1989 I flew out to Toronto and thence to Saskatoon. I flew
 Wardair that served their food in Wedgwood crockery, and went out of
 business in a year or so. The temperature in Saskatoon was -20
 centigrade. My breath was freezing on my moustache. People who parked
 cars at the airport did not turn off their engines. Cheap oil. The
 couple I stayed with were very warm and hospitable. But they lamented
 that they wanted to be back in India. Look outside they said. 5 feet of
 snow. 
 
 Wadena had two hotels. One was called Hotel Motel where I got a room and
 spent a night. The mayor who had heard that a doctor was visiting came
 up in the morning and had breakfast with me. He was very friendly and
 genuinely welcoming. He drove me around that little town in his pick up
 truck. I asked him what there was to do in town, and he told me that I
 could go moose hunting on his estate and indicated that there were snow
 scooters I could use. I had visions of telling my wife to pick up the
 rifle and go moose hunting because I was held up at the clinic and that
 I would join her later. 
 
 Canada was not the place for me. I returned to India the next year.
 People in India were amazed that I was idiot enough to return to India
 after having made it in the west. I told them that I had been living
 in the north of England and had suffered a nervous breakdown. The
 previous summer I had seen a bright light in the sky that scared me
 witless leading to the breakdown. When I recovered people told me that
 the light was actually the sun. I had not seen the sun for 2 years in
 the north of England and had forgotten about it. Scary innit? 
 
 Happiness is in one's head. There is a digitized 8 mm home movie of me
 as a 4 year old child carrying a toy gun. I still love shooting. There
 is something compellingly satisfying about pulling a little lever
 attached to a pipe in front of you and seeing a Coke can explode dozens
 of yards away. I have received warning letters from the Society for
 Prevention of Cruelty to Tin cans. But what do I care? Happiness is
 doing things that you feel like doing. Things that relax you and keep
 your mind empty like that recently perforated Coke can.
 
 shiv
 
 
 Lovely writing, Shiv.

I agree, this needs - deserves public homage.

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[SS]

On Mon, 2013-03-11 at 09:40 +0530, Udhay Shankar N wrote:
 Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in
 the potter’s oven?
 
 I read that to mean that to truly experience happiness, you must
 experience deep sorrow. Which to me, means that you can’t be happy all
 the time. It’s not possible and it’s not even desirable.
 
 Take pleasure in the little things and stop looking for the
 “HAPPINESS,”
 all-caps. Be happy with “happy,” lowercase. And understand that
 sadness
 (or in my case, a messy house, or on a whole different scale, the
 recent
 death of my mother) is what makes knowing happiness possible. 

For decades I have insisted that happiness is inside the head, between
one's ears.

Over 20 years ago when I used to live in the UK I found Indians who had
achieved their dream of leading a wealthy life abroad lamenting that
they wanted to go back to India. There were whiny and unhappy. 

I was planning on going back to India anyway, but did not want to regret
that I did not try something that I could have done. I had decided
against the US simply because I had medical qualifications from India
and the UK and had no intention of requalifying in the US at an age when
I could be teaching my teachers something. 

I decided to check out Canada. For me the checking out route meant
buying a practice and what was available was a practice in the town of
Wadena (pop 1000), Saskatchewan.I visited Bangalore briefly before going
to Canada. In Bangalore I happened to meet the mother of a young man
living in Saskatoon who instantly (and very kindly) arranged for me to
use his home as base while I checked out Wadena, 60 odd miles away. She
spoke glowingly of her son and his wife. They had double of everything.
Two cars. Two TVs. Two whatnots. Four bathrooms. This was 1989. 

In February 1989 I flew out to Toronto and thence to Saskatoon. I flew
Wardair that served their food in Wedgwood crockery, and went out of
business in a year or so. The temperature in Saskatoon was -20
centigrade. My breath was freezing on my moustache. People who parked
cars at the airport did not turn off their engines. Cheap oil. The
couple I stayed with were very warm and hospitable. But they lamented
that they wanted to be back in India. Look outside they said. 5 feet of
snow. 

Wadena had two hotels. One was called Hotel Motel where I got a room and
spent a night. The mayor who had heard that a doctor was visiting came
up in the morning and had breakfast with me. He was very friendly and
genuinely welcoming. He drove me around that little town in his pick up
truck. I asked him what there was to do in town, and he told me that I
could go moose hunting on his estate and indicated that there were snow
scooters I could use. I had visions of telling my wife to pick up the
rifle and go moose hunting because I was held up at the clinic and that
I would join her later. 

Canada was not the place for me. I returned to India the next year.
People in India were amazed that I was idiot enough to return to India
after having made it in the west. I told them that I had been living
in the north of England and had suffered a nervous breakdown. The
previous summer I had seen a bright light in the sky that scared me
witless leading to the breakdown. When I recovered people told me that
the light was actually the sun. I had not seen the sun for 2 years in
the north of England and had forgotten about it. Scary innit? 

Happiness is in one's head. There is a digitized 8 mm home movie of me
as a 4 year old child carrying a toy gun. I still love shooting. There
is something compellingly satisfying about pulling a little lever
attached to a pipe in front of you and seeing a Coke can explode dozens
of yards away. I have received warning letters from the Society for
Prevention of Cruelty to Tin cans. But what do I care? Happiness is
doing things that you feel like doing. Things that relax you and keep
your mind empty like that recently perforated Coke can.

shiv

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Indrajit Gupta]

What happens when one wants to print a mail like this on a mailing list onto 
another platform? What is the proper way to do things?


 
bonobashi




 From: SS cybers...@gmail.com
To: silklist@lists.hserus.net 
Sent: Saturday, 16 March 2013 6:51 PM
Subject: Re: [silk] What is happiness?
 
On Mon, 2013-03-11 at 09:40 +0530, Udhay Shankar N wrote:
 Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in
 the potter’s oven?
 
 I read that to mean that to truly experience happiness, you must
 experience deep sorrow. Which to me, means that you can’t be happy all
 the time. It’s not possible and it’s not even desirable.
 
 Take pleasure in the little things and stop looking for the
 “HAPPINESS,”
 all-caps. Be happy with “happy,” lowercase. And understand that
 sadness
 (or in my case, a messy house, or on a whole different scale, the
 recent
 death of my mother) is what makes knowing happiness possible. 

For decades I have insisted that happiness is inside the head, between
one's ears.

Over 20 years ago when I used to live in the UK I found Indians who had
achieved their dream of leading a wealthy life abroad lamenting that
they wanted to go back to India. There were whiny and unhappy. 

I was planning on going back to India anyway, but did not want to regret
that I did not try something that I could have done. I had decided
against the US simply because I had medical qualifications from India
and the UK and had no intention of requalifying in the US at an age when
I could be teaching my teachers something. 

I decided to check out Canada. For me the checking out route meant
buying a practice and what was available was a practice in the town of
Wadena (pop 1000), Saskatchewan.I visited Bangalore briefly before going
to Canada. In Bangalore I happened to meet the mother of a young man
living in Saskatoon who instantly (and very kindly) arranged for me to
use his home as base while I checked out Wadena, 60 odd miles away. She
spoke glowingly of her son and his wife. They had double of everything.
Two cars. Two TVs. Two whatnots. Four bathrooms. This was 1989. 

In February 1989 I flew out to Toronto and thence to Saskatoon. I flew
Wardair that served their food in Wedgwood crockery, and went out of
business in a year or so. The temperature in Saskatoon was -20
centigrade. My breath was freezing on my moustache. People who parked
cars at the airport did not turn off their engines. Cheap oil. The
couple I stayed with were very warm and hospitable. But they lamented
that they wanted to be back in India. Look outside they said. 5 feet of
snow. 

Wadena had two hotels. One was called Hotel Motel where I got a room and
spent a night. The mayor who had heard that a doctor was visiting came
up in the morning and had breakfast with me. He was very friendly and
genuinely welcoming. He drove me around that little town in his pick up
truck. I asked him what there was to do in town, and he told me that I
could go moose hunting on his estate and indicated that there were snow
scooters I could use. I had visions of telling my wife to pick up the
rifle and go moose hunting because I was held up at the clinic and that
I would join her later. 

Canada was not the place for me. I returned to India the next year.
People in India were amazed that I was idiot enough to return to India
after having made it in the west. I told them that I had been living
in the north of England and had suffered a nervous breakdown. The
previous summer I had seen a bright light in the sky that scared me
witless leading to the breakdown. When I recovered people told me that
the light was actually the sun. I had not seen the sun for 2 years in
the north of England and had forgotten about it. Scary innit? 

Happiness is in one's head. There is a digitized 8 mm home movie of me
as a 4 year old child carrying a toy gun. I still love shooting. There
is something compellingly satisfying about pulling a little lever
attached to a pipe in front of you and seeing a Coke can explode dozens
of yards away. I have received warning letters from the Society for
Prevention of Cruelty to Tin cans. But what do I care? Happiness is
doing things that you feel like doing. Things that relax you and keep
your mind empty like that recently perforated Coke can.

shiv

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Udhay Shankar N]

On Sat, Mar 16, 2013 at 11:52 PM, Indrajit Gupta bonoba...@yahoo.co.in wrote:

 What happens when one wants to print a mail like this on a mailing list onto 
 another platform? What is the proper way to do things?

Just point them at the archives.

Udhay

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Shoba Narayan]

 ing happiness possible. 
 
 For decades I have insisted that happiness is inside the head, between
 one's ears.
 
 Over 20 years ago when I used to live in the UK I found Indians who had
 achieved their dream of leading a wealthy life abroad lamenting that
 they wanted to go back to India. There were whiny and unhappy. 
 
 I was planning on going back to India anyway, but did not want to regret
 that I did not try something that I could have done. I had decided
 against the US simply because I had medical qualifications from India
 and the UK and had no intention of requalifying in the US at an age when
 I could be teaching my teachers something. 
 
 I decided to check out Canada. For me the checking out route meant
 buying a practice and what was available was a practice in the town of
 Wadena (pop 1000), Saskatchewan.I visited Bangalore briefly before going
 to Canada. In Bangalore I happened to meet the mother of a young man
 living in Saskatoon who instantly (and very kindly) arranged for me to
 use his home as base while I checked out Wadena, 60 odd miles away. She
 spoke glowingly of her son and his wife. They had double of everything.
 Two cars. Two TVs. Two whatnots. Four bathrooms. This was 1989. 
 
 In February 1989 I flew out to Toronto and thence to Saskatoon. I flew
 Wardair that served their food in Wedgwood crockery, and went out of
 business in a year or so. The temperature in Saskatoon was -20
 centigrade. My breath was freezing on my moustache. People who parked
 cars at the airport did not turn off their engines. Cheap oil. The
 couple I stayed with were very warm and hospitable. But they lamented
 that they wanted to be back in India. Look outside they said. 5 feet of
 snow. 
 
 Wadena had two hotels. One was called Hotel Motel where I got a room and
 spent a night. The mayor who had heard that a doctor was visiting came
 up in the morning and had breakfast with me. He was very friendly and
 genuinely welcoming. He drove me around that little town in his pick up
 truck. I asked him what there was to do in town, and he told me that I
 could go moose hunting on his estate and indicated that there were snow
 scooters I could use. I had visions of telling my wife to pick up the
 rifle and go moose hunting because I was held up at the clinic and that
 I would join her later. 
 
 Canada was not the place for me. I returned to India the next year.
 People in India were amazed that I was idiot enough to return to India
 after having made it in the west. I told them that I had been living
 in the north of England and had suffered a nervous breakdown. The
 previous summer I had seen a bright light in the sky that scared me
 witless leading to the breakdown. When I recovered people told me that
 the light was actually the sun. I had not seen the sun for 2 years in
 the north of England and had forgotten about it. Scary innit? 
 
 Happiness is in one's head. There is a digitized 8 mm home movie of me
 as a 4 year old child carrying a toy gun. I still love shooting. There
 is something compellingly satisfying about pulling a little lever
 attached to a pipe in front of you and seeing a Coke can explode dozens
 of yards away. I have received warning letters from the Society for
 Prevention of Cruelty to Tin cans. But what do I care? Happiness is
 doing things that you feel like doing. Things that relax you and keep
 your mind empty like that recently perforated Coke can.
 
 shiv
 
 
Lovely writing, Shiv.

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Udhay Shankar N]

On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 10:24 AM, Bonobashi bonoba...@yahoo.co.in wrote:

 This is not funny. Cuts too close to the bone. You are hereby warned to cease 
 and desist.

You would perhaps prefer the view of the great sage Scott Adams?

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2010-12-27/

Udhay

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Deepa Mohan]

On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 12:30 PM, Udhay Shankar N ud...@pobox.com wrote:

 On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 10:24 AM, Bonobashi bonoba...@yahoo.co.in wrote:

  This is not funny. Cuts too close to the bone. You are hereby warned to
 cease and desist.

 You would perhaps prefer the view of the great sage Scott Adams?

 http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2010-12-27/


Or euphoria?

http://bestofcalvinandhobbes.com/2011/10/calvin-demands-euphoria/

Re: [silk] What is happiness?

[Bonobashi]

This is not funny. Cuts too close to the bone. You are hereby warned to cease 
and desist.

Indrajit Gupta

On Mar 11, 2013, at 9:40 AM, Udhay Shankar N ud...@pobox.com wrote:

 We've discussed this here before (e.g. [1] [2]), but here's another
 worthwhile take, from a former colleague at Yahoo! and a recent silklister.
 
 Thoughts?
 
 Udhay
 
 [1] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silk-list/message/4965
 [2] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silk-list/message/37925
 
 http://blog.mizannethrope.com/post/45039337095/happiness-is-pine-sol-and-clorox-and-like-them-both
 
 Happiness is Pine Sol and Clorox and Like Them Both, Probably Toxic in
 Large Quantities
 
 Happiness. There are a lot of books written on this topic. I know
 because I’ve read them all. ALL of them. This is a matter that mankind
 has pursued throughout time. It’s fundamental to our very existence.
 It’s what separates us from the beasts of the wild. What is happiness?
 How do we get it? If we have it, how do we keep it? Or more precisely,
 how do we prevent ourselves from losing it? When we have it, how do we
 know we have it?
 
 I started seeing a therapist when my mother was diagnosed with advanced
 stomach cancer. I probably should have started years earlier. Years.
 Maybe at birth. One of the first things she asked me was, “What makes
 you happy?” I kind of stumbled when she asked that so she rephrased the
 question. “Can you tell me a time, recently, when you felt really happy?”
 
 After sitting there for a moment, I said the first thing that popped
 into my head. That’s what you are supposed to do in therapy, right? Not
 over-think the question but rather, respond naturally so you reveal your
 true self. So I told the unedited, unvarnished, unmitigated truth. Or as
 Oprah would say, I told MY truth. So here it is. I am happiest when….
 
 “The hour after the cleaning people leave my house. When everything is
 clean, orderly, and smells like Pine Sol. That’s when I am happiest.”
 
 You know you’ve achieved something when your therapist looks a little
 puzzled.
 
 I joke all the time about being OCD. In reality, I do not suffer from
 obsessive-compulsive disorder. At least not in a clinically diagnosable
 way. I really shouldn’t joke about it because plenty of people really do
 have debilitating issues associated with OCD. I am just a freak about
 tidiness and thus, my Twitter handle: @clean_freak.
 
 Many people apparently take me at face value. Ergo, some of my Twitter
 followers include: @scrubblingbubble, @cleanercleaning, @abhousekeeping,
 @goofoffpro (a cleaning agent, apparently), @acepressurewash, and
 @bugoffseatcover.
 
 I will readily admit that the smell of cleaning products makes me feel,
 well, happy. Those same products are probably going to give me brain
 cancer. Although to be clear, I’m not sniffing them in open containers
 like gasoline or airplane glue. The smell of cleaning products just
 gives me a weird feeling of comfort when I’m cleaning or otherwise at
 home. Like all things revealed in therapy, this too, can be traced back
 to my mother. My very Korean mother.
 
 Margaret Cho does a great routine about her Korean mother. After her mom
 suffered a heart attack, she came to live with Margaret. Her mother told
 her about her near-death experience. In broken English, she said to
 Margaret, “After I die, my spirit float out my body. I float far, far
 away. I go you house. I look down. Ay-gu! Why so messy?”
 
 And that folks, is probably what my mother is doing right now. Looking
 down at my house today and thinking, “Ay-gu! Why so messy?” (Because I
 was away on a business trip for 5 days, mom! Don’t judge me!)
 
 But to get back to my earlier point, what is happiness anyway? I think
 my initial response to my therapist hit the nail on the head. Happiness
 is not some big, grand destination. Or even some fanciful life-long
 journey. It’s the sum of all the little things. For me, it’s
 crystallized in that moment of peace and serenity when everything is
 just-so. In a house with 3 dogs and 3 kids, it’s rare. It’s the calm
 sense of accomplishment I feel when I am getting things done. Not huge
 things. Little things.
 
 I remember when I was in school, I’d get incredibly stressed during
 exams. I always thought I’d feel so relieved when they were over. But
 the moment I turned in my last test, the feeling of lightness I thought
 I’d have never materialized. Or if it did, it was never as uplifting as
 I imagined it would be. The quest for happiness seldom results in a
 sustainable sense of overwhelming joy. If it comes, it usually lasts
 only for a fleeting moment.
 
 And really, if you felt happy all the time, how would you know what it
 is to be happy?
 
 There is a beautiful passage in The Prophet -
 
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can
 contain.
 
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in
 the potter’s oven?
 
 I read that to mean that to truly experience