Re: Loki Update
Steve, My thoughts are with you and Loki during this very difficult and stressful time. Hugs, Del - Original Message - From: Steve Williams To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2005 12:09 AM Subject: RE: Loki Update I have been away from the computer for some time, spending all my thoughtand time with Loki. Thank you Terrie, Kristi, Nina, Barb, Cherie, Jen,Tonya, Joan, Carla, Michelle, and Kerry for your warm thoughts and advice.Michelle, you suggested steroids. The only steroid the doctor mentioned wasPrednisone, which I am familiar with because of a friend with Crohn'sDisease. The Doctor indicated that this would be a longer term treatment,but while having a different effect, would be slightly less effective thanthe near term relieve of a diuretic. I believe the he was indicating thetumor was too large for the steroids to have a great effect; and that whileprolonging life, life would be less comfortable.I've been making sure Loki is having some wonderful days, although it's beendifficult at times with the rain we've been having. He doesn't normally getto go outside, except for the large deck, which he loves. In good weather,the deck has always been open to him. However, these days, I've let himoutside to explore and wander in the wild grass around the house. He lovesit and has all the energy for it. I think it is wonderfully distracting forhim.His breathing has been the same. Getting rest is a difficult for him, butthe good days, I feel, have offset the labored breathing.Evaluating every breath, every movement; every happy purr, head-but,kneading action, and roll onto the back; every nap, sleep, eating habit,toilet deposit; every behavioral change, uncomfortable sleeping or relaxingposition, has been stressful for me. When to let go is so hard, but I amtrying to be unbiased with the decision about when his quality of life is nolonger good.This early evening, I think I am noticing more labored breathing. I am alsonoticing more difficulty with finding the right position to sleep. He isfavoring harder, flatter surfaces to sleep on so as not to impede breathing.I am accommodating this with soft towels on the hard surfaces he favors,with an extra small roll for his chin to rest upon. This is desirable forhim. Of course, this is now very distressing for me, as I am feeling thetime is near to let him go. I will hope for a clear morning/day for him toexplore outside, then reevaluate.No need to respond to this. I just needed to let you know and to write itdown for myself.Steve
Re: Loki Update
Steve, Your vet is wrong about the steroids. Dexamethasone is like pred but much much stronger and acts within a few hours. Not only does it shrink tumors,but it makes them feel better. Depomedrol is more like pred but in a shot and stronger. I would really try to get him these shots. They are so, so, so much more effective than prednisone. Michelle
Re: Loki Update
Dear Steve I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and Loki. Like just about everyone else on the list, I know the pain you're going through watching Loki battle against all the odds, and I know the anguish you felt when you had the tests run. And you have already been through so much. (I have never been able to maintain composure, and I admire you for being able to do so, because I know that what our little furballs need to hear are not the sounds of sorrow.) I am just so very glad that Loki found you, Steve, and knows that he is so very much loved and cared for. Please know that I'm thinking of you and Loki at this difficult time. love and hugs to you both, Kerry - Original Message - From: Steve Williams [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Sent: Saturday, March 19, 2005 6:28 PM Subject: Loki Update First off, in addition to the other nice notes, thank you Jen, Hideyo and Terri for your prayers and healing vibes... and I am so glad Thor is coming around. I did take Loki in to the vet. It was difficult to get a spot, but eventually found a vet very near my house so as not to upset Loki with a long ride. The initial prognosis did not look good, so I had x-rays taken. The x-rays showed that Loki's lungs were only expanding to half their normal size which means something else was taking space within the cavity. In addition, the Trachea was pushed up to the spine, which suggests the cavity did not just have excessive fluid, but that a tumor was taking the space. I was given lots of options, but I can't do most of them or put Loki through hell. In the end, I asked for, and will probably take the doctors opinion, which is to make him comfortable and take the weekend to say my goodbyes. He is living with the pronounced lung action just okay, but I know it is hard to be perfectly comfortable for him with the distressed breathing. I don't think he has pain per se, but letting him go on too many more days like this, I think gets to the point of becoming painful. I hadn't mentioned it before, but Loki's left eye sometimes dilates much more than the right. This is a sign of a viral infection, FeLV+ or otherwise. Once again, not a good sign, especially with everything else. The doctor gave me some meds to try to alleviate things, for the short term. I'm giving him Furosimide, a diuretic to help with the excessive fluids (I will not subject him to the trauma of extracting the excessive fluid with a needle), and antibiotics to help with a slight, but lingering URI. All this should help his breathing a tiny bit. When it gets worse, or I feel the happy days with him no longer offsets the lingering lack of comfort, I will PTS. This has been a long hard road. I tried, but it was difficult to maintain composure at the vets office. I know I will crash hard after Loki goes. I just can't stand what this disease does. Steve
RE: Loki Update
I have been away from the computer for some time, spending all my thought and time with Loki. Thank you Terrie, Kristi, Nina, Barb, Cherie, Jen, Tonya, Joan, Carla, Michelle, and Kerry for your warm thoughts and advice. Michelle, you suggested steroids. The only steroid the doctor mentioned was Prednisone, which I am familiar with because of a friend with Crohn's Disease. The Doctor indicated that this would be a longer term treatment, but while having a different effect, would be slightly less effective than the near term relieve of a diuretic. I believe the he was indicating the tumor was too large for the steroids to have a great effect; and that while prolonging life, life would be less comfortable. I've been making sure Loki is having some wonderful days, although it's been difficult at times with the rain we've been having. He doesn't normally get to go outside, except for the large deck, which he loves. In good weather, the deck has always been open to him. However, these days, I've let him outside to explore and wander in the wild grass around the house. He loves it and has all the energy for it. I think it is wonderfully distracting for him. His breathing has been the same. Getting rest is a difficult for him, but the good days, I feel, have offset the labored breathing. Evaluating every breath, every movement; every happy purr, head-but, kneading action, and roll onto the back; every nap, sleep, eating habit, toilet deposit; every behavioral change, uncomfortable sleeping or relaxing position, has been stressful for me. When to let go is so hard, but I am trying to be unbiased with the decision about when his quality of life is no longer good. This early evening, I think I am noticing more labored breathing. I am also noticing more difficulty with finding the right position to sleep. He is favoring harder, flatter surfaces to sleep on so as not to impede breathing. I am accommodating this with soft towels on the hard surfaces he favors, with an extra small roll for his chin to rest upon. This is desirable for him. Of course, this is now very distressing for me, as I am feeling the time is near to let him go. I will hope for a clear morning/day for him to explore outside, then reevaluate. No need to respond to this. I just needed to let you know and to write it down for myself. Steve
RE: Loki Update
Steve, I am so sorry to read the Loki is so ill. I am glad though that Loki has such a compassionate father who will conquer his own sadness to help Loki keep his quality of life and keep him pain free. Take care, Joan -Original Message- From: Steve Williams [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Saturday, March 19, 2005 7:28 PM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Loki Update First off, in addition to the other nice notes, thank you Jen, Hideyo and Terri for your prayers and healing vibes... and I am so glad Thor is coming around. I did take Loki in to the vet. It was difficult to get a spot, but eventually found a vet very near my house so as not to upset Loki with a long ride. The initial prognosis did not look good, so I had x-rays taken. The x-rays showed that Loki's lungs were only expanding to half their normal size which means something else was taking space within the cavity. In addition, the Trachea was pushed up to the spine, which suggests the cavity did not just have excessive fluid, but that a tumor was taking the space. I was given lots of options, but I can't do most of them or put Loki through hell. In the end, I asked for, and will probably take the doctors opinion, which is to make him comfortable and take the weekend to say my goodbyes. He is living with the pronounced lung action just okay, but I know it is hard to be perfectly comfortable for him with the distressed breathing. I don't think he has pain per se, but letting him go on too many more days like this, I think gets to the point of becoming painful. I hadn't mentioned it before, but Loki's left eye sometimes dilates much more than the right. This is a sign of a viral infection, FeLV+ or otherwise. Once again, not a good sign, especially with everything else. The doctor gave me some meds to try to alleviate things, for the short term. I'm giving him Furosimide, a diuretic to help with the excessive fluids (I will not subject him to the trauma of extracting the excessive fluid with a needle), and antibiotics to help with a slight, but lingering URI. All this should help his breathing a tiny bit. When it gets worse, or I feel the happy days with him no longer offsets the lingering lack of comfort, I will PTS. This has been a long hard road. I tried, but it was difficult to maintain composure at the vets office. I know I will crash hard after Loki goes. I just can't stand what this disease does. Steve
RE: Loki Update
Steve My thoughts are with you I will keep you both in my thoughts. Carla
Re: Loki Update
Oh, Steve...I am so, so sorry (insert as many expletives as you can think of here to describe how you feel about this virus...I know I am...)...I remember when you first joined this list, your 3 babies couldn't have found a better home...You will know when it's time, and I'm sure Loki's siblings (Leeloo and, I can't think of the other one...but I do remember thinking that they all have fabulous names!) will be waiting to greet him! There is a technical term for the pupil dilation-thing, but I can't think of it at the moment...one of my guys, Ewok, has had it off and on for a few years now, but is healthy in all other respects (knock-on-wood)...One of our other guys, Marvin, has a pupil that is completely blown, whereas Ewok's will look normal from time-to-time, Marvin's pupil will always be completely dilated. Anyhoo, You and Loki are in my thoughts...take care of yourselves...this virus really, really sucks... Jen - Original Message - From: Steve Williams [EMAIL PROTECTED] Date: Saturday, March 19, 2005 7:28 pm Subject: Loki Update First off, in addition to the other nice notes, thank you Jen, Hideyo and Terri for your prayers and healing vibes... and I am so glad Thor is coming around. I did take Loki in to the vet. It was difficult to get a spot, but eventually found a vet very near my house so as not to upset Loki with a long ride. The initial prognosis did not look good, so I had x- rays taken. The x-rays showed that Loki's lungs were only expanding to half their normal size which means something else was taking space within the cavity. In addition, the Trachea was pushed up to the spine, which suggests the cavity did not just have excessive fluid, but that a tumor was taking the space. I was given lots of options, but I can't do most of them or put Loki throughhell. In the end, I asked for, and will probably take the doctors opinion, which is to make him comfortable and take the weekend to say my goodbyes.He is living with the pronounced lung action just okay, but I know it is hard to be perfectly comfortable for him with the distressed breathing. I don't think he has pain per se, but letting him go on too many more days like this, I think gets to the point of becoming painful. I hadn't mentioned it before, but Loki's left eye sometimes dilates much more than the right. This is a sign of a viral infection, FeLV+ or otherwise. Once again, not a good sign, especially with everything else. The doctor gave me some meds to try to alleviate things, for the short term. I'm giving him Furosimide, a diuretic to help with the excessive fluids (I will not subject him to the trauma of extracting the excessive fluid with a needle), and antibiotics to help with a slight, but lingering URI. All this should help his breathing a tiny bit. When it gets worse, or I feel the happy days with him no longer offsets the lingering lack of comfort, I will PTS. This has been a long hard road. I tried, but it was difficult to maintaincomposure at the vets office. I know I will crash hard after Loki goes. I just can't stand what this disease does. Steve
Re: Loki Update
Steve, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I was hoping everyone was wrong about a tumor. Loki is still very lucky to have found someone to love and take care of him like you have done. I was hoping he would beat the odds. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers, and hope that Loki has some good days left before you have to make a decision. I know how hard it is, but you have done your best, and as much as this hurts you,Loki has been given love and securityin his short time with you thatmany cats never have at all. Take care, tonyaSteve Williams [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: First off, in addition to the other nice notes, thank you Jen, Hideyo andTerri for your prayers and healing vibes... and I am so glad Thor is comingaround.I did take Loki in to the vet. It was difficult to get a spot, buteventually found a vet very near my house so as not to upset Loki with along ride. The initial prognosis did not look good, so I had x-rays taken.The x-rays showed that Loki's lungs were only expanding to half their normalsize which means something else was taking space within the cavity. Inaddition, the Trachea was pushed up to the spine, which suggests the cavitydid not just have excessive fluid, but that a tumor was taking the space. Iwas given lots of options, but I can't do most of them or put Loki throughhell. In the end, I asked for, and will probably take the doctors opinion,which is to make him comfortable and take the weekend to say my goodbyes.He is living with the pronounced lung action just okay, but I know it ishard to be perfectly comfortable for him with the distressed breathing. Idon't think he has pain per se, but letting him go on too many more dayslike this, I think gets to the point of becoming painful.I hadn't mentioned it before, but Loki's left eye sometimes dilates muchmore than the right. This is a sign of a viral infection, FeLV+ orotherwise. Once again, not a good sign, especially with everything else.The doctor gave me some meds to try to alleviate things, for the short term.I'm giving him Furosimide, a diuretic to help with the excessive fluids (Iwill not subject him to the trauma of extracting the excessive fluid with aneedle), and antibiotics to help with a slight, but lingering URI. All thisshould help his breathing a tiny bit.When it gets worse, or I feel the happy days with him no longer offsets thelingering lack of comfort, I will PTS.This has been a long hard road. I tried, but it was difficult to maintaincomposure at the vets office. I know I will crash hard after Loki goes. Ijust can't stand what this disease does.Steve
Re: Loki Update
Steve, if you can't do chemo I would at least do strong steroid shots, which can shrink lymphoma tumors and make them feel good for up to a few months. I would ask for a combined dexamethasone and depomedrol shot. I was away all weekend and so just saw your emails or I would have written earlier. These steroids are the best thing to do for lymphoma if you can not do chemo, and I would do them in a second. Michelle In a message dated 3/19/05 7:28:54 PM, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: First off, in addition to the other nice notes, thank you Jen, Hideyo and Terri for your prayers and healing vibes... and I am so glad Thor is coming around. I did take Loki in to the vet. It was difficult to get a spot, but eventually found a vet very near my house so as not to upset Loki with a long ride. The initial prognosis did not look good, so I had x-rays taken. The x-rays showed that Loki's lungs were only expanding to half their normal size which means something else was taking space within the cavity. In addition, the Trachea was pushed up to the spine, which suggests the cavity did not just have excessive fluid, but that a tumor was taking the space. I was given lots of options, but I can't do most of them or put Loki through hell. In the end, I asked for, and will probably take the doctors opinion, which is to make him comfortable and take the weekend to say my goodbyes. He is living with the pronounced lung action just okay, but I know it is hard to be perfectly comfortable for him with the distressed breathing. I don't think he has pain per se, but letting him go on too many more days like this, I think gets to the point of becoming painful. I hadn't mentioned it before, but Loki's left eye sometimes dilates much more than the right. This is a sign of a viral infection, FeLV+ or otherwise. Once again, not a good sign, especially with everything else. The doctor gave me some meds to try to alleviate things, for the short term. I'm giving him Furosimide, a diuretic to help with the excessive fluids (I will not subject him to the trauma of extracting the excessive fluid with a needle), and antibiotics to help with a slight, but lingering URI. All this should help his breathing a tiny bit. When it gets worse, or I feel the happy days with him no longer offsets the lingering lack of comfort, I will PTS. This has been a long hard road. I tried, but it was difficult to maintain composure at the vets office. I know I will crash hard after Loki goes. I just can't stand what this disease does. Steve
Re: Loki Update
Steve, you and Loki are in ym thoughts, I hope and pray all goes well.[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Oh my Steve...I'm so sorry! It saddens me to hear this about Loki. I'm sure you will do what's right for him. Please take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray for a safe passing for Loki when the time comes. I know how much it hurts...I'm so sorry. He will be greeted by all the furangels at the bridge. In a message dated 3/19/2005 4:28:54 PM Pacific Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: I know I will crash hard after Loki goes. Ijust can't stand what this disease does.Steve Terrie MohrCheck site for available Siameses for adoption!http://www.iGive.com/TAZZYShttps://www.paypal.com/TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTShttp://www.tazzys-siameses-collies.petfinder.org/http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wasiameserescuehttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/index.htmlhttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/myhomepage/petmemorial.htmlTAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTSSIAMESE COLLIE RESCUEOwner/DriverPetfinder.comAdopt a Homeless Pet!http://www.petfinder.com/http://www.orecatay.com/http://www.awca.net/index.htmhttp://www.felineleukemia.org/http://www.petloss.com/http://www.meezer.com/http://thesiamesestore.com/http://tx.siameserescue.org/adopt.htmlhttp://ca.siameserescue.org/http://co.siameserescue.org/http://va.siameserescue.org/image/jpegimage/jpeg
