Re: [QUAD-L] ED Remedies and Feedback

[Ed Tessier]

See responses in red

On Mon, Apr 2, 2018 at 8:06 AM, Quad Dude  wrote:

> Hello Ed,
>
> Thank you so much for your detailed response. This is exactly the input I
> was seeking.
>
> Regarding the use of cock rings, along with erection assistance with
> either ED drugs, manual stimulation, or a vacuum pump, does the ring enable
> a uniform, stable erection? Yes...Though the degree of time certainly
> varies.
>

 I've heard some complain of a hinging effect.  using more than one ring in
different positions can help,  such as above the testicles and below the
crown of the penis, and experimenting with rings of different sizes and
constriction is important. There are also multi- interconnected ring
products that place of variety of rings along the shaft of the penis. it so
important to experiment with lots of alternatives and figure out what
works. recently I've been experimenting more with thicker rings and ones
that actually provide shaft support
https://www.kisskiss.ch/en/double-cock-ring-with-penis-support

 How long can the ring be worn per session, and is there a recommended
waiting peroid between sessions? several sites recommend limiting use to 30
minutes at a time.

>
> When taking Levitra, you said it normally kicks in around 35-40 minutes
> later. How long does it last once it kicks in? Does it simply create an
> ongoing erection, or is some sort of continuous stimulation required to
> maintain the effect? for me it remains effective for 30 to 45 minutes.
> However with continuous stimulation, and the occasional break, I've been
> able to say consistently hard as long as two hours. I haven't been willing
> to push it anymore than because of the drug warnings that indicate a person
> should seek medical help if an erection lasts longer than four hours.
>
> I see in your signature that your injury level is C5-6. Do you have much
> penile sensation?   I don't have any tactile sensation. I can feel some
> deep pressure, tension and spasticity. As I get more around I can feel some
> body wide flashes of heat and electricity. I know that sounds very vague
> but these sensations are definitely pleasurable even though they are subtle
> and inconsistent.
>



> I note you make a distinction between orgasm and ejaculation. Is your goal
> generally both or one or the other, and if not both, why the one? For me
> orgasm and ejaculation is almost always the same thing. However, because
> quad ejaculations can be a fickle thing (if I have a low amount of
> spasticity or a lot of fatigue, no amount of effort or creativity can get
> me off), I don't always go into  sex determined to ejaculate. I'd say I'm
> only trying to build up to ejaculation half the time my wife and I have
> sex. It might be even less than that for masturbation (I've become a fan of
> "edging" which is a masturbation technique that's growing in popularity
> with nondisabled people that focuses on stimulation-- usually combined with
> porn-- but not ejaculation. Basically it's self pleasure without the cum-
> something that's definitely within the quad wheelhouse).  In that case I'm
> just looking to enjoy the excitement, intimacy, mental experience, etc.
>

 Even though my orgasms focus on ejaculation, there is a lot of testimony
out there that orgasms can be triggered by any part of the body and even,
in extreme cases, by purely mental exercise.  One often repeated example is
a quad that could experience orgasm by having his partner suck his thumb. I
experimented with this in my mid-20s, about 10 years after my accident,
with an older partner who was also a nurse and very supportive about
exploring the limits of my sensation how to maximize my pleasure.  Just by
stimulating me  Above my injury line, mostly focusing on my neck and ears,
she was able to trigger a holistic pleasurable climax that was very similar
to the sensations I feel upon ejaculation. This was a revelation and very
exciting, but it took a lot of time, focus and technique to really pull
off. It was something subsequent partners didn't excel at and I gradually
lost interest. It's only been recently, as my aging SCI issues have
accumulated and I was sidelined by several kidney stone operations, that my
wife and I have been trying to repeat that  experience. we're not there
yet, but it's still fun trying.

In my mind I'm thinking orgasm without ejaculation would be fine given that
> I'm not looking to procreate, but perhaps I'm missing something in the
> sensations and mechanics that makes ejaculation an equal if not more
> desirable goal?  definitely go online and read up on orgasm without
> ejaculation and that might point you in some interesting directions. there
> is certainly nothing second-class about orgasms initiated in some other
> part of the body. in fact, some people report that there is a much bigger
> range in the variety of orgasms that most people think, and variety is the
> spice of life.
>
> Is orgasm, when achieved, the same as you remember preinjury? Orgasm w

Re: [QUAD-L] ED Remedies and Feedback

[Ed Tessier]

Well, I certainly agree that humor is incredibly important. the multiple
little embarrassments and indignities of assisted sex-- or just sex that is
"different" from what most people practice - - is much more enjoyable and
sustainable with laughter.

I agree that women tend to be better communicators, but in the case of
straight couples, I think this is actually an advantage for disabled men.
When we are looking for a bed partner, disabled or nondisabled, I think
more women are open to the experience and have the communication skills
necessary to explore, experiment and find what works. Disabled women that
are looking for a man are dealing with people that just can't seem to talk
things through as well.

 I disagree about the importance of penetrative intercourse. It's something
I engage in for my partners' pleasure, and less so my own. I don't feel
much during it, so for me, it's something I do when she wants it and my
enjoyment is principally vicariously experiencing her pleasure and the
erotic visual of it all.  With my previous partners, and now my wife, I'd
say 70 to 80% of our bed play doesn't involve intercourse.  making out,
digital play, mutual oral sex, sharing fantasies, watching erotica, playing
with toys... are much bigger part of what we enjoy.  I've never really
struggled with feeling less of a man because of this focus on
non-intercourse play. in fact it's helped my self-esteem when so many women
seem relieved about decreasing the centrality of penetrative sex and the
sense of obligation to chase magical orgasms.  I've been told focusing on
clitoral stimulation/orgasms is more dependably pleasurable and more
aligned with how their bodies really work as opposed to how most men
want/expect them to perform.

ed



On Sat, Mar 31, 2018 at 5:48 PM, Bobbie Humphreys <
bobbiehumphre...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I'd like to say something to all you male quads.
> My hat 🎩 is off to you guys for what you all endure to keep your manhood.
> I believe, personally, that intercorse is more "important" to you guys then
> to us females.
> A in dwelling catheter for us females doesn't interfere nearly as much,
> for intercorse, as cock rings and pumps.
> Mentally I can not even start to imagine how you guys keep your saintly
> while dating or having intercorse and keep your dignity. You must need a
> great deal of a sense of humor.
> Of course there is the physical aspect of not doing "Manley" labor or
> physical labor. Men also have a much harder time asking for help then
> females.
> Women are also better communicators in every day life than men.
>I realize ALL men , and women, are not the same.
> It just seams to me , overall, that being paralyze would be much harder on
> males then females mentally.
> My 2 cents.
> Bobbie
>
> "Be the change you want to see in the world". Gandhi
>
> > On Mar 31, 2018, at 6:38 PM, Ed Tessier  wrote:
> >
> > going
>

Re: [QUAD-L] ED Remedies and Feedback

[Eric Olson]

Sanity?  What's that?


Virus-free.
www.avast.com

<#DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2>

On Sat, Mar 31, 2018 at 7:48 PM, Bobbie Humphreys <
bobbiehumphre...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I'd like to say something to all you male quads.
> My hat 🎩 is off to you guys for what you all endure to keep your manhood.
> I believe, personally, that intercorse is more "important" to you guys then
> to us females.
> A in dwelling catheter for us females doesn't interfere nearly as much,
> for intercorse, as cock rings and pumps.
> Mentally I can not even start to imagine how you guys keep your saintly
> while dating or having intercorse and keep your dignity. You must need a
> great deal of a sense of humor.
> Of course there is the physical aspect of not doing "Manley" labor or
> physical labor. Men also have a much harder time asking for help then
> females.
> Women are also better communicators in every day life than men.
>I realize ALL men , and women, are not the same.
> It just seams to me , overall, that being paralyze would be much harder on
> males then females mentally.
> My 2 cents.
> Bobbie
>
> "Be the change you want to see in the world". Gandhi
>
> > On Mar 31, 2018, at 6:38 PM, Ed Tessier  wrote:
> >
> > going
>
>

Re: [QUAD-L] ED Remedies and Feedback

[Bobbie Humphreys]

I'd like to say something to all you male quads.
My hat 🎩 is off to you guys for what you all endure to keep your manhood. I 
believe, personally, that intercorse is more "important" to you guys then to us 
females.
A in dwelling catheter for us females doesn't interfere nearly as much, for 
intercorse, as cock rings and pumps.
Mentally I can not even start to imagine how you guys keep your saintly while 
dating or having intercorse and keep your dignity. You must need a great deal 
of a sense of humor.
Of course there is the physical aspect of not doing "Manley" labor or 
physical labor. Men also have a much harder time asking for help then females.
Women are also better communicators in every day life than men.
   I realize ALL men , and women, are not the same.
It just seams to me , overall, that being paralyze would be much harder on 
males then females mentally.
My 2 cents.  
Bobbie 

"Be the change you want to see in the world". Gandhi

> On Mar 31, 2018, at 6:38 PM, Ed Tessier  wrote:
> 
> going

[QUAD-L] ED Remedies and Feedback

[Quad Dude]

I have a question for you guys out there. Quads are often unable to attain
or sustain a suitable erection for intercourse. Have any of you utilized a
vacuum pump or injections as a remedy? I've heard that the vacuum pump can
create a hinged effect that lessons its effectiveness. Haven't heard any
feedback on injections. Definitely would not consider implants unless I had
at least some sensation, which I do not have any. Do any of the ED drugs
like Viagra or Cialis work on quads? Very interested in any feedback. Email
me privately if you'd rather not respond to the full list.

Thanks…

Steve - C4, 29 years, auto accident