Re: ShopTalk: (no subject)

[Arniesclubs]

Where do you live?

You Live in  California when...  
1. You make over $250,000 and  you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school  quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The  fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You  know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to  your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how  far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than  how many miles away it is.


You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean  Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the  Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument  about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature".
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own  language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7.  You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when...  
1. You only have four spices: salt,  pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.  
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are:  winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.



You Live in the  Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and  buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll"  is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid  defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in Colorado when . . .
1.  You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell  your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care  center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.  
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.  

You live in the  Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a  traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had  to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end  sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked  how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"  

You live in Florida  when..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the  afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent  dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by  headless people