My biggest to-dont's are: 1. Avoid large parties. I prefer 1:1 conversations with people who are thoughtful and have a good combination of High IQ and High EQ. Small talk in large parties gets insanely boring for me, though I am sure a Silklist get together would be a great exception. 2. Avoid self-centered people who have no clue of how to hold a conversation. This has meant avoiding some of my closest relatives. They are not 100 percent avoidable so I have allocated "time quotas" for them where I spend say 30 minutes with them and let them say whatever they want (I used to do X,Y,Z 30 years ago, Blah, Blah, Blah) and then get back to my life. A conversation involves listening and most people don't shut their mouths long enough to listen.
A corollary of the above is that I have consciously listed out High IQ/High EQ folks with whom I can have satisfying conversations where I gain insights and feel heard as well. I consciously make time for such folks. End of Rant :-) Venky On Wed, Mar 22, 2023 at 7:09 AM Jules Yim via Silklist < [email protected]> wrote: > Try this link <https://archive.ph/Vp8aR>, Radhika. PDF attached if > archive.is doesn't work for you. > > My to-don't – don't spiral in rumination. Get up and walk outdoors instead. > > On Wed, 22 Mar 2023 at 04:49, Radhika, Y. via Silklist < > [email protected]> wrote: > >> I'd love to read this but is there a PDF available as I don't subscribe >> to The Atlantic? >> >> Thank you. >> Radhika >> >> On Mon, Mar 20, 2023 at 8:34 PM Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> I have unconsciously used something like this as one of the frameworks >>> that help in bringing order to both professional and personal life - but it >>> is interesting to have it laid out explicitly like this. >>> >>> So, what's your to-don't list? >>> >>> Udhay >>> >>> >>> https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/03/goals-negativity-bias-new-years-resolution/673408/ >>> >>> <q> >>> the *via negativa*, at its core, is about recognizing that when you >>> don’t know the *right* way forward, you might succeed by focusing on >>> what you know to be *wrong* instead. If you have been feeling stuck—in, >>> say, your job or relationship—but don’t know exactly what to do to make >>> things better, the *via negativa* might be exactly what you need. >>> </q> >>> >>> -- >>> >>> ((Udhay Shankar N)) ((udhay @ pobox.com)) ((www.digeratus.com)) >>> >>> -- >>> Silklist mailing list >>> [email protected] >>> https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist >>> >> >> >> -- >> *Translator/Owner* >> *AzulIndica Translations* >> *North Vancouver BC, Canada* >> >> >> >> >> >> -- >> Silklist mailing list >> [email protected] >> https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist >> > -- > Silklist mailing list > [email protected] > https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist >
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