The Dutch seem to have really sorted this situation out. The most popular and used app on both Apple and Android stores is Tikkie - or other banks' equivalent of it. One person foots the bill, and everybody keeps track of what they ate, and then pay accordingly. It is interesting that the responsibility of your own consumption is on you. This works as long as you are eating Dutch style - only individualised portions, and then sides to share. The minute you go family style, it starts becoming cumbersome and I have seen seasoned Dutch family and friends struggling to figure out how to split this across.
With people that I actually do want to hang out with (friends), this is never an issue. Largely, I avoid big groups. And the people I meet regularly with, we just pick up the tab, in a round-ribbon. This works however, because of three reasons: 1. We go to the same priced restaurants mostly, give or take a few. 2. We are all adults with disposable incomes and no economic or financial crises. 3. We trust each other enough to not be afraid of being a free-loader. The way I resolve this, as a teetotaler is that if people were coming home for dinner, I would still be buying them drinks along with the food, and that is not a huge consideration. But it also helps that most of my friends are either teetotalers or light drinkers, and so it has never come up as an issue. As for large groups of people, who I do not know and trust, and eating with them - doesn't happen unless formally or professional mandated. Which happens enough times in a month for me to not crave it myself. One of my chefy friends had a great rule about who she voluntarily eats food with - it is people she wouldn't mind exchanging bodily fluids with, because eating together is just perversely intimate, no matter what your hygiene. I thought this was a good rule of thumb to apply :) Warmly, Nishant On Thu, Jan 25, 2024 at 12:08 PM Mohit via Silklist < [email protected]> wrote: > > On Thu, 25 Jan, 2024, 09:16 Udhay Shankar N via Silklist, < > [email protected]> wrote: > >> >> This is a topic that comes up every now and again. Speaking as someone >> who regularly organizes group meetups, >> >> 1. We usually split the bill evenly, because (at least as far as food is >> concerned) the entire table ends up sampling whatever is ordered. >> 2. The people I tend to meet with tend to order things which are roughly >> similar. >> 3. Liquor is where this model faces challenges. A teetotaller (or even a >> beer drinker, such as myself) might feel hard done by, if asked, on a >> regular basis, to partly subsidize someone ordering much more expensive >> spirits. >> >> The solution isn't easily achieved. At least in India, separate checks >> aren't the norm, and most POS systems aren't set up for it. Also, keeping >> track like this is a tedious and mood killing chore at the end of a >> pleasant evening. >> > > The solution among my close friends: > 1. If it's a small group (up to 4 pax), and if they meet semi-regularly, > one person picks up the tab. Another person picks it up next time. > 2. In almost all other cases, the bill is split evenly. > 3. Rare cases: large groups of people with some teetotallers. We ask for > liquor & food bills separately, and split them. > > Regards, > Mohit > >> -- > Silklist mailing list > [email protected] > https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist > -- Dr. Nishant Shah (Ph.D.) Assoc. Professor, Global Media, Chinese University of Hong Kong Faculty Associate, Berkman-Klein Centre for Internet & Society, Harvard University (USA) Knowledge Partner, Digital Asia Hub (Hong Kong), Point of View (Mumbai) https://nishantshah.online
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