The Dutch seem to have really sorted this situation out. The most popular
and used app on both Apple and Android stores is Tikkie - or other banks'
equivalent of it. One person foots the bill, and everybody keeps track of
what they ate, and then pay accordingly. It is interesting that the
responsibility of your own consumption is on you. This works as long as you
are eating Dutch style - only individualised portions, and then sides to
share. The minute you go family style, it starts becoming cumbersome and I
have seen seasoned Dutch family and friends struggling to figure out how to
split this across.

With people that I actually do want to hang out with (friends), this is
never an issue. Largely, I avoid big groups. And the people I meet
regularly with, we just pick up the tab, in a round-ribbon. This works
however, because of three reasons: 1. We go to the same priced restaurants
mostly, give or take a few. 2. We are all adults with disposable incomes
and no economic or financial crises. 3. We trust each other enough to not
be afraid of being a free-loader. The way I resolve this, as a teetotaler
is that if people were coming home for dinner, I would still be buying them
drinks along with the food, and that is not a huge consideration. But it
also helps that most of my friends are either teetotalers or light
drinkers, and so it has never come up as an issue.
As for large groups of people, who I do not know and trust, and eating with
them - doesn't happen unless formally or professional mandated. Which
happens enough times in a month for me to not crave it myself.

One of my chefy friends had a great rule about who she voluntarily eats
food with - it is people she wouldn't mind exchanging bodily fluids with,
because eating together is just perversely intimate, no matter what your
hygiene. I thought this was a good rule of thumb to apply :)

Warmly,
Nishant

On Thu, Jan 25, 2024 at 12:08 PM Mohit via Silklist <
[email protected]> wrote:

>
> On Thu, 25 Jan, 2024, 09:16 Udhay Shankar N via Silklist, <
> [email protected]> wrote:
>
>>
>> This is a topic that comes up every now and again. Speaking as someone
>> who regularly organizes group meetups,
>>
>> 1. We usually split the bill evenly, because (at least as far as food is
>> concerned) the entire table ends up sampling whatever is ordered.
>> 2. The people I tend to meet with tend to order things which are roughly
>> similar.
>> 3. Liquor is where this model faces challenges. A teetotaller (or even a
>> beer drinker, such as myself) might feel hard done by, if asked, on a
>> regular basis, to partly subsidize someone ordering much more expensive
>> spirits.
>>
>> The solution isn't easily achieved. At least in India, separate checks
>> aren't the norm, and most POS systems aren't set up for it. Also, keeping
>> track like this is a tedious and mood killing chore at the end of a
>> pleasant evening.
>>
>
> The solution among my close friends:
> 1. If it's a small group (up to 4 pax), and if they meet semi-regularly,
> one person picks up the tab. Another person picks it up next time.
> 2. In almost all other cases, the bill is split evenly.
> 3. Rare cases: large groups of people with some teetotallers. We ask for
> liquor & food bills separately, and split them.
>
> Regards,
> Mohit
>
>> --
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>


-- 
Dr. Nishant Shah (Ph.D.)
Assoc. Professor, Global Media, Chinese University of Hong Kong
Faculty Associate, Berkman-Klein Centre for Internet & Society, Harvard
University (USA)
Knowledge Partner, Digital Asia Hub (Hong Kong), Point of View (Mumbai)
https://nishantshah.online
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