http://www.timwerx.net/language/englished.htm
It was a hot, steamy day in the summer of 1976 when I got my first
taste of English here. I was walking along one of the streets of Osaka
when a young voice called out loud and clear: "A, B, C!" I looked over
to the other side of the street where a small group of uniformed
junior high school boys were standing, smiling and waving. The brave
one continued to enlighten me with: "This is a pen! I am a boy!" And I
must say that even though he wasn't displaying a pen of any kind he
did look just like a boy.
At first I thought this very strange because I had believed the
Japanese to be very quiet and reserved. Also, what made him think that
I could understand English? I am obviously not Japanese, but I could
have just as easily been from France or Germany. Anyway, I smiled and
waved and went on my way, noticing that he was receiving high praise
from his schoolmates. After all, he had gotten the attention of a real
live foreigner by using real English, probably learned that very day.
This was to become, I soon learned, a common occurrence. Girls never
did this, and boys walking alone or in pairs never seemed to have
sufficient courage to give it a try; but when I saw three or more of
them together notice me I knew that I was in for some more
freshly-acquired, grammar-book English. Sadly, the only thing I ever
heard was, "This is a pen! I am a boy!" or, once in a while, something
even braver — something that sounded like "I am me, you are you, he is
him, and she is her!" Fascinating, huh? I discovered later that these
were set phrases found in their grammar books which were repeatedly
drilled in order to familiarize students with the fundamentals of
English sentence structure.
One of the worst things that Japan's Ministry of Education has done to
English education is approve textbooks which include katakana as a
pronunciation guide. Katakana is one of 4 "alphabets" used in Japan1,
primarily to make noises in comic books and write foreign words and
names. Unfortunately, it also does an effective job of teaching
children how not to pronounce English correctly. No katakana exist
which can accurately represent sounds like r, l, th, f, v, and many of
our vowels, so the closest ones are used. This results in having all
these kids memorizing "Japanese English," a brand of English that is
incomprehensible to native English speakers. Coffee becomes cohhee;
dog, dohggu; cat, kyahtto; and hot, hohtto. Unfortunately, these kids
think they're learning English while actually learning a unique form
of English only known in Japan.
To cite one good example of how great a disservice this is to
students, once while on a homestay program with a group of students in
California a perplexed student came to me and said, "I went to a
carnival with my host family yesterday, and when I tried to order a
hotdog at a food stand the man couldn't understand me."
"What did you say?" I asked.
"'A hohtto dohggu pleazu,' and even though I repeated it 3 or 4 times
he couldn't understand."
"Well," I explained, "It's simple. All you have to do is say 'a
hotdog, please' and forget all that katakana English they taught you
in junior high."
The Ministry of Education has made English a mandatory subject for all
junior high and high school students, but grammar and sentence
structures are taught in an analytical way, more like a science than a
living language, and correct pronunciation doesn't really matter. If
you looked at the pages of a typical English grammar book, you will
see equations that look like they would be more at home in a book on
chemistry. Additionally, too many English teachers here have
insufficient ability when it comes down to real conversation, and
probably would not have done much better ordering a hotdog than the
student mentioned above. That's because "English theory" is emphasized
instead of actual communication.
To be fair, the Ministry has begun a program which has for several
years brought native English speakers to Japan to help in the English
classes at junior high and high schools. These contracted "English
helpers" stay in Japan 2 or 3 years and do what they can to add an
international flavor while letting Japanese kids hear what real
English sounds like. However, the total hours of actual practice and
exposure are just not enough. Many students can show a fair knowledge
of the written language, but their conversation ability is very poor
when you consider that they've had 6 years of English classes.
This becomes a source of great frustration to host families when these
kids go abroad on programs like homestay. The families receive an
introductory letter from their student written in very understandable
English. Then, when that anticipated day of arrival finally comes,
they are baffled that their student could write so well, but speak so
little. The reason is simple: a certain knowledge of English — not
practical ability — is what's necessary to get through the present
school system here in Japan.
I would like to relate a story here that illustrates this, and made me
really realize that Japan is in serious trouble concerning English
education, but first I'll need to explain a little bit about the
"school life" (as they call it here) of young students.
One nice thing about Japan is the fact that it is relatively easy to
make extra money on the side as a home teacher or tutor. Housewives do
it, college students do it, and foreigners can do it. This is made
possible because mothers here are, to a ridiculous degree, very
competition conscious when it comes to what their kids are learning
compared with the neighbors'. These kyoiku mamas2 start their kids in
some extra-curricular class from a very young age. Swimming,
penmanship, calligraphy, abacus — these are just a few of the popular
evening classes that are available in just about any neighborhood. And
just try to find a girl who has not taken piano lessons. With a little
talent, a little space, and by knowing the right people, just about
anyone can set up a specialized class in their home because of the
high demand.
When kids start junior high (middle school) here, emphasis is placed
on keeping test scores high in order to get into a decent high school.
Kids just don't go to the high school nearest their home, they compete
for a place at their "target high school" much like students in other
countries compete and work to get into a desired university program.
Many qualified women provide prep classes in their homes to help
students keep up with the game and prepare for high school entry.
Since everything is so standardized in the Japanese system, thousands
of women throughout the country know just how to teach these "exam
strategy" lessons so that their students can pass the next one. And
they make good, tax-free money doing it, without ever stepping outside
their house.
On with the story:
Many years ago I started teaching English a few hours a week in the
evenings to kids in the neighborhood. Word spread, and before long
most of my weekday nights were booked from 6:30 to 9:00. Then I had to
start turning people down. (I'm not a workaholic, or perhaps I could
have retired by now. That, or be staring at a wall in a mental
institution.) When I had new students come in, I'd emphasize the fact
that I teach conversational English, not "test English." I told them
that the English they learned from me would be helpful if they ever
went abroad, or spoke to a native speaker in Japan, which is quite
different from the English they would be getting in school.
As is usual, one of my students quit my class after graduating from
elementary school so he could start attending a "high school prep"
class run by an older Japanese woman who I had heard of (and vice
versa, so it seems). In her class he would learn about math tests and
social studies tests and, of course, English tests; what kind of
problems there would be and how to pass them. I thought this amusing
since this woman could not speak English. Nevertheless, what really
knocked me over was what she said to my former student on his first
day there, as reported by the boy's mother to my wife: "Now, I want
you to forget all that 'correct pronunciation' nonsense that Mr.
Matheson taught you. I'm going to teach you the English you need to
succeed in Japan." (!!!)
It was this event that really hit me like a mallet, causing me to see
that the attitude towards English taught in the schools here was
seriously twisted. With this kind of help it's no wonder that we have
students unable to order a hotdog in spite of 6 years of English. And
I believe that it's this problem of not taking English education
seriously enough which allows thousands of household items to be
smothered with all kinds of nonsensical English words.
Reading the English on my students' T-shirts, bags, notebooks, pencil
boxes, etc., not to mention the many, many everyday household items
around me, has provided much amusement over the years. At school I saw
"DANCE YOUR ARSE OFF" written big on a girl's T-shirt, and could
barely keep from laughing. My wife bought me a polo shirt that says
"MAKE A STINK" on the label. But at least these examples are
grammatically correct. Usually what you'll see here are a string of
mismatched words just begging to sound cute, like "BABY RABBIT AND
LITTLE DEER LIKE SUN DAYS IN PARK PICNIC" or "PATTY AND JIMMY ARE BEST
FRIENDS. THEY TOGETHER ENJOY HEALTHFUL DAY."
And it doesn't stop there. Go anywhere in Japan; read anything: books,
brochures, manuals, signs, billboards. It won't take any time or
effort at all to find some English, and you won't be able to read very
far before spotting an error, whether it's a small spelling mistake or
an unnatural sentence made up of words carelessly thrown together. Why
is such an effort made to show such carelessness, especially from a
people who have the reputation of being just the opposite? Are there
any other countries that treat the language of another in a similar
fashion? I've often wondered what the Japanese would think if they
went to the States or Canada and saw their own language treated the
same way.
I once bought a CD here in Japan that was produced by Sony that
included a lyric sheet for the vocal tunes done in English. I was
absolutely dumbfounded to see all the mistakes! There were many
spelling errors, even on simple words. One line was a meaningless
jumble of words and letters, as if someone had the job of writing down
the words to the song, but not being able to make it out, and being
too lazy to check it or ask someone else with better listening
comprehension abilities, just wrote down what it sounded like to him
or her. Whether correct words and sentences were formed was beside the
point.
One of my favorites can be found in the instruction manual that came
with the equipment that my school had installed in the language lab.
The manual was done in both languages, but the English was so bad in
places that I found it necessary to check the Japanese just to be sure
about the important points. My favorite line read, "Please be careful
to spill a drop like coffee in the master console." And this isn't a
dinky, two-bit operation, either. This is Matsushita Electric, better
known as Panasonic, that's letting this blundered English out the
door!
These two examples concern huge, international companies. You know
very well that they would not let such English go free in countries
where it is the language spoken. Why don't they care about the English
seen here?
When the new airport here in Takamatsu was finished I went to check it
out. Very nice, and no funny English. Well, almost. On my way out a
little sign with an arrow caught my eye. It pointed the way to the
elevator, only it said "ELEVATER." Too bad — I had been hoping for an
A+. "Why?" I asked myself. Any junior high kid with a dictionary could
look up and check that word in a few seconds. You'd think that people
would check a foreign word before going to the trouble of
silk-screening it onto a metal plate, right? Fortunately, one of my
graduate students worked there and was able to report it to the right
person. As far as I know, Takamatsu Airport is now free from
embarrassing English.
The Japanese language is, of course, taken very seriously. You can bet
that everything in Japanese is checked and proofread over and over
before it finally goes to print. Isn't it strange that English is not
given the same consideration?
Just one more recent example: The news program we watch in the morning
has a little section about what's going on all around Asia. They call
it Asia & World. Why? They could have just as easily made it Asia &
The World, but no. It's by allowing stuff like this that kids will
have a harder time than necessary when it comes time to learn about
the article the. It takes a lot of time and effort to unlearn the
mistakes which were picked up naturally by seeing and hearing them
everyday. And this is NHK doing this, the government-run TV station. A
conspiracy maybe?
Thankfully, there is a bright side. Though just a little bit of
glitter on the horizon now, Japan is slowly thinking about more
realistic English education. Pilot programs which will expose
elementary kids to natural English are now in the works, and some are
scheduled to start with the beginning of the new school year (April
1999). I'm happy to say that I know of one elementary school here in
Takamatsu that will incorporate a very casual English program starting
this year. It's about time, and I have high hopes for it. If it
succeeds we should see similar programs implemented in elementary
schools throughout Japan.
With internationalization becoming a well-worn buzzword and the
internet accelerating connections around the world, more than ever
young people here are going to need a working knowledge of real
English. The Ministry can help make a positive contribution if they
will look at the challenge seriously, throw away distrust, and get the
help that they desperately need from those who are best qualified to
give it. Then finally we'll be able to see English used for more than
just a trendy promotional gimmick.
I sincerely hope that they will go forward with the programs I have
heard them talk about without letting the current economical situation
put a damper on things.
That's all they need to do. They've just got to want to do it.
--
Homer: He has all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: (pause) A dinosaur.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sudhakar Chandra Slacker Without Borders
