On Mon, Jun 1, 2009 at 9:49 PM, ss <[email protected]> wrote: > On Sunday 31 May 2009 9:43:17 pm Kiran K Karthikeyan wrote:
>> Saying no is tough in India. > You are not supposed to say no in India. Its impolite. You are supposed to > say yes and later not do the job and give excuses. > I'm no sure why people have a hard time believeing this - but this is what we > Indians are supposed to do. All this business of saying "No" in someone's > face is a characteristic that is foreign to Indians. You invite me to your > wedding in california (I live in India) and I will not express regret and > give you my best wishes. > > I will say "Surely. I will try and be there" I teach about understanding different national cultures at work, and this is actually one of the classic examples. I have a funny story about this. There's a very famous story about a man with two sons, and he tells them to do something that both sons disagree with. The first son says "No, I won't do that, that's a bad idea!" but then goes and does it anyway. The second son says "Yes father, I will do that!" but then does not do it. Which is the better son? The funny part is that most people have a very definite idea about which of the two sons is better - but it's not always the same idea! It was particularly amusing with one mixed couple - American and Indian where they both said approximately "What a silly question, it's obvious!" The American man said that the first son who forthrightly spoke his mind but did what he was told was the better son. The Indian woman said that the second son who did not disagree with his father in public but did what was right was the better son. Anyway, that dimension of either speaking your truth to power or never publicly disagreeing with someone superior to you is a strong cultural dimension. FWIW India is by no means the furthest extreme along that dimension. -- Charles
