This might be the first thread I'm contributing to, but I feel compelled to add in to the conversation. I've been married for one year now, one year and 4 days actually, and I had an arranged marriage. I had like, 8 months to "get to know him." We were polar opposites right from the beginning - I'm the conservative, not one to take chances type, and he was a guy who quit a great law career to be a journalist in New York. I don't think either set of parents saw it coming when we decided to go ahead after talking for twenty minutes.
My friends who rightly thought I was crazy asked me if it was love at first sight - I told them it wasn't and that was the truth, and that it was just this feeling where you just know that it's going to work. I agree with shiv where he says that it rules out family incompatibilities and just focuses on personal incompatibilities - this is a situation where there's absolutely no friction on the family front, most of these "matches" have the same upbringing as you too, same financial situation, etc. On paper, it seems ideal.....I think that with arranged marriage, finding someone to live with for the rest of your life is very easy. Finding someone to love - that, is only for the lucky. I got really lucky. :) On Thu, Jul 3, 2014 at 10:32 AM, SS <[email protected]> wrote: > The interesting thing about Radhika's list (quoted below this post) is > that of the 12 factors,only 5 relate to the individuals. 7 relate to the > family. > > Arranged marriages are (ideally) designed to remove family related > incompatibilities, leaving the couple to sort out personal > incompatibilities. > > A good research study would be to hand these 12 points as a > questionnaire to divorced couples (separately) and to couples who have > been married for say - 15 years and then see if any useful data comes > out of it. A double blind study of 100 couples of each category would > make an interesting start. > > shiv > > > On Wed, 2014-07-02 at 12:12 -0700, Radhika, Y. wrote: > > MIKE-MA Landscape Architecture > > RADHIKA- MS Urban Planning > > > > Mike-37 > > Radhika-38 (mother was aghast at this of course!) > > > > Mike-son of RCMP (police) officer > > Radhika-daughter of Indian Air Force Officer > > > > Mike-mother homemaker, father govt servant > > Radhika-mother homemaker, father govt servant > > > > Mike-parents against homosexuality > > Radhika-parents against homosexuality > > > > Mike-parents aghast at Radhika retaining maiden name > > Radhika-parents aghast at my keeping maiden name > > > > Mike-father agnostic, mother religious > > Radhika-father agnostic, mother religious > > > > Mike-5'11 > > Radhika-5'7 > > > > Mike-fair (haha) > > Radhika-Punjab wheat;-)) > > > > Mike-can trace his family back to earliest ancestor leaving Holland in > > 1700 > > Radhika-er, 7 generations as per readings during ceremonies! > > > > Mike-slender and athletic > > Radhika-'healthy" in the matrimonial ad way > > > > Mike's family-own home > > Radhika's family-own home > > > > > > >
