I work in a 'family' restaurant. Apparently, since
we have a multitude of high chairs, people assume that our nice, sit
down restaurant doubles as a play place McDonald's. Very often, I
can be heard musing to myself, "Why isn't anyone beating that kid?"
Did I mention that we're a SIT DOWN restaurant? With carpet on the
floor and trendy alcoholic beverages that cost over $7? You would think
that our customers would come in and realize that this is not an
appropriate place to let your spawn crawl around on the floor under the
booths grinding macaroni and cheese into the carpet and howling. You
would think that the baby factories that come in would worry about their
toddlers playing tag in isles where servers are carrying heavy,
steaming hot plates.
They don't. And furthermore, if one of those hot plates were to fall
and bash in the brains of their precious little spawn, they would sue
us despite the fact that we are a restaurant, not a daycare.
One night, I was waiting on a table with 2 parents and 2 children who
were actually sitting in their seats. I was considering myself
awfully lucky until a 2-year-old from another table toddled over
to my table, snatched some chocolate milk from one of the semi
well behaved kids, and then proceeded to lurch on back to his parents.
The parents didn't even notice.
Obviously perturbed, I walked over to them and said in a sickly sweet
voice, "While you were busy with your conversation, your child just
stole chocolate milk off the table of one of my customers."
The woman doubled over laughing, "Oh my goodness! Isn't that
funny?
No, it's not funny. It's not cute. It's incredibly rude and
disrespectful. Furthermore, it could have been completely prevented had
you been watching your child like you were supposed too. I looked
pointedly over to my table hoping that she would notice that my
customers were not in the least amused. This woman STILL didn't get it.
I wanted to dip her head into a bowl of battery acid.
This big group of Spanish people came into our restaurant another
night with about 8 little animals. Oblivious, they got drunk while their
kids sprinted though the restaurant, jumped onto random booths, and even
ran into the kitchen and came VERY close to dipping their pudgy little
fingers into the fryer. Repeatedly, my manager intervened and told the
kids that they MUST stay in their seats. No dice. I spent the night
wondering how I could push one over and hurt them badly while making it
look like an accident. By the time the little monsters had finally left
the restaurant, the other paying customers were so annoyed, that my
manager had to buy them ALL free dessert to make them happy again.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is: If your little animal is
so wild that he can't sit quietly in his seat while in a restaurant,
then you need to leave him at home. My husband has two kids that are
too wild to sit and eat for an hour straight, so we don't take them
with us when we go out to eat. It really is a very simple concept.
I don't find your kids or their behavior particularly cute. In
fact, I think your kids are hideously ugly. Your children are whining,
crying, rude, nasty, deformed looking little brats that smell like shit
and are in serious need of a good, sound beating. I would brutally
murder your children and tack their dried skins on my wall as a trophy
if I could get away with it. Trust me.
Do you really want someone like me bringing your kids
chocolate milk? No?
Then leave them at home.
