[Sndbox] Fast Food

[Greg]

I have finally figured out how fast-food restaurants decide who gets to work which jobs. And it's all so simple: They just *ask* the new employees a few basic questions! It probably goes something like this: Manager: Hello, and welcome to BurgerWorld. We're sure that you are going to absolutely *love* working here over the next three weeks. And to ensure that we match each of you to the ideal crew-member position in the store, we'd like you each to answer a few simple questions. First you, Steve. Suppose a customer's order is $4.37. The customer hands you $5.12. What do you do? Steve: Well, the *first* thing I'd do is give him back the extra dime. Then I'd calculate his change, which should be ... uh ... forty seven cents? Manager: Good job! We'll put you on the cash register. Okay, you're next, Marcy. Things have been a little slow today, and the bin is nearly empty. Suddenly, a school bus pulls up outside, and sixty high school seniors pile out of it. What do you do? Marcy: Oh, gee, um, I don't know. Fix my hair? Manager: Oooh, good answer! We'll put you in charge of french fries. ... Okay, and the last question is for you, Semrpthr#ckidsh. Am I pronouncing that correctly? Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO? Manager: I said, "Am I pronouncing that correctly?" Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO? Manager: Could You Please Tell Me How To Pro-Nounce Your Name? Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO? Manager: Hmmm. <thinking> CAN YOU SAY, "WELCOME TO BURGERWORLD"? Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO? Manager: Here, put on this headset. You're working the drive-thru. I swear, that has GOT to be the system they use. If there are a dozen crew members working in the store, the one working the drive thru will be the only one who has been in the country for less than thirty minutes. There has to be a good explanation. Personally, I think it might very well be that the American kids aren't smart enough to push the button and talk at the same time. I'm serious about that. I've run across only ONE American kid working a drive-thru window recently -- and her transmissions went something like this: "-m to BurgerWorld." "-ake your order?" "-ies with that?" "and thirty seven cents." Me: Excuse me? I didn't catch the dollar amount. "and thirty seven cents." Me: Could you please try pressing the button BEFORE you start speaking? "-irty seven cents." Me: Thank you. "-ooh the first window." Me: Roger that. Perhaps the obvious solution is for me to stop frequenting such classy establishments. After all, we've already established that I'm not very adept at this whole drive-thru thing.  The problem is, most of the time, my only alternative is to try to cook for myself. Let's just say that there's a *reason* I have the phone number to Domino's Pizza written on the side of my measuring cup. - Vince Sabio     Greg Hopper   "Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?"

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