Offensive for whom? For the ones that have no idea what tango is. For the women, that don't understand they have to play a role.
You may be a good person, but in a play, you may play bad character. Same in tango - you may play the role of a instrument. But don't forget that the beauty is emitted by this same "instrument". So why not doing it - show the beauty? I find nothing offensive to play the role of a Stradivarius in the hands of a talented musician. But you, ladies, are free to feel offended and miss the whole point. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Victor Bennetts" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Friday, December 21, 2007 4:08 AM Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Don't blame your follower > > The 'playing her like a violin' comments are generally offensive but have > their place. I reserve them for when I am trying to get other guys who may > be sceptical of dancing in general and tango in particular interested in > dancing tango. In that case, where I am trying to attract new leaders, I > have tacit approval from followers to push the envelope of good taste ;-). > > Victor Bennetts > > Tango For Her> > I agree. "... playing her like a fine violin" can be (1) meant in many > ways and (2) taken in many ways. Air to caution! I, personally, would > find that statement to be offensive. > > I have to say, though, that you could divide this issue into two camps: > (1) Leaders who listen to the conversation that takes place in the dance > and (2) Leaders who strongly expect their followers to follow as was > described in a previous email. > > (1) Leaders who listen to the conversation that takes place in the dance: > > A leader with a mind toward the conversation in the dance might imagine > the quick strokes of the bow or the long feathery movement of the bow. > Thinking of that inanimate object and thinking of his follower at the same > time *could* result in the follower being thought of as an inanimate > object, I guess. As long as he is feeling the reaction to *his bow* and > changes his lead correspondingly, then, I say, enjoy the dance! The > result might be quite astounding. The follower might find that the > conversation has climbed to a new level! My personal feeling is that a > leader who can change the way he approaches the dance has an open mind and > is working on improving his dance. > > (2) Leaders who strongly expect their followes to follow (and are tuned > in to the conversation) > > That would be a different topic. I didn't intend that, AT ALL, when I > started this thread. > > Thank you, B. > > > Keith <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > B, > > "you were supposed to lead it...." is absolutely the correct response and > I > just wish ladies would use it more often. And, when a man tries to teach a > lady a figure during a milonga, I just wish she'd say ... "don't teach me, > just lead me". Because if he can't 'just lead it', than he certainly can't > dance it well enough to try teach it. > > And, to the comment .. "that's great! he is playing her like a fine > violin..". > I agree - yuck!! is the perfect response. > > B, if this is your first post, please, let's hear more from you. > > Keith, HK > > > > On Mon Dec 17 4:04 , [EMAIL PROTECTED] sent: > >>(...as she ventures, a little timidly, out from her much safer lurker >>position.....so remember, this is my first time :) ) >> >>Bravo Doug and Astrid!! I am a woman who both leads and follows - many >>times back and forth during a single evening, depending on the >>crowd...and while there is an obvious difference between the two - I am >>a equal partner in the dance no matter which role I have....once I was >>watching a beautiful woman dance with a man who was leading - really >>admiring her adornments, musicality, beautiful footwork, and nuance - I >>couldn't wait to dance with her - when a guy standing next to me said, >>"that's great! he is playing her like a fine violin......." yuck!! >>This passionate, beautiful dancer described as an inanimate object that >>he "uses," Maybe it is oversensitive to have such a strong reaction to >>imagery that other folks use to describe their tango....but part of it >>comes from the experience of being told "follows only really need to >>learn to follow," having inexperienced (or worse, experienced) leaders >>wrestling with you to "get" gancho after gancho after gancho - and >>those are usually the same leads who will violently twist your >>shoulders over and over to get you do the boleo they demand, and, my >>favorite, the leads who will stop dead in the middle of the floor >>during a milonga and scold, "you were supposed to do...whatever," to >>which the best response, that most follows are too gracious to say, is, >>"you were supposed to lead it...." >> >>(...now she tentatively hits the send button, a little worried about >>the reaction she'll get but committed to being part of a >>community/conversation about a dance she is obsessed with.....) >> >>b > > **************** CAUTION - Disclaimer ***************** > This e-mail contains PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION intended > solely for the use of the addressee(s). 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