--- On Tue, 9/23/08, Alexis Cousein <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> But given a lead is an invitation, she can certainly
> *resist* a lead, i.e. change the timing. She can even take over the lead
> momentarily (which is no problem with me, but bruises the ego of some other
> leaders) . Given that the leader should be inviting and listening in order to
> move in unison with the follower, there's nothing absurd about all that - and
> good followers *will* use resistance to counter bad leads (that bring the
> couple out of balance in a wrong way), to force room for adornos when the
> door for them is slightly ajar, and to move in perfect
> harmony with the music.
No, no, no. These aren't the right words either. A follower can suggest
things but she shouldn't resist or force room or take over. For really good
leaders, this can be annoying. The better the leader is, the more willing the
follower is to listen and follow his invitation. If she "forces room" it is
actually that she suggested room and the leader allowed the room to open.
In a way, it comes down to who understands the music better and can interpret
the blueprint the music offers. If she doesn't understand the music, then her
attempts to ignore/resist/change the invitations of a man who really knows the
music can be really annoying. Few women I encounter are good about being able
to interpret the music. As someone who knows the music well, when I lead, I
prefer a woman who also knows the music (and I'll be happy to listen to her
suggestions) or a woman who simply accepts my invitation.
Trini de Pittsburgh
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