--- On Tue, 9/23/08, Alexis Cousein <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Whether "resist" is an appropriate word is a matter of semantics. And I
> disagree that it's totally unkosher for her to "force room" or "take over",
> at least if you understand the context (i.e. don't take the words
> as if they came from a military dictionary).
Trini, here. I think we're thinking along the same lines, but the choice of
words is extremely important because it is difficult for women to understand
how to express themselves within the context of the man's marca. And it's
important for men to understand that they shouldn't be wusses, either.
One thing I should point out is that generally speaking, men can easily
overpower a woman. Especially, when she's normally on one foot and he is on
two. So when I'm following a man who easily outweighs me, all I can do is
propose something else. It is extremely rare for me to have to "ground down"
to truly resist and overcome a man's power (only 3 men in 13 years of dancing)
and it was a lot of work.
So, if a man is going to take an action that may collide us into another
couple, I can suggest that we stay where we are or suggest a slower timing or
something else that will avoid a collision. However, from a strength point
alone, he could overcome this proposal and we'd go crash. So what makes him
decide to listen when I do suggest a stop? The fact that such a proposal from
me is out of the ordinary. The fact that I don't "resist" him when we're
dancing.
For women who want to improve their dancing, they also have to understand that
each leader may need a different response (something men understand more easily
than women). For example, one man might like my free leg to close more quickly
on turns whereas another might enjoy the feeling of my leg "whooshing" at it's
natural speed. If the first man alters his lead to encourage me to close more
quickly, then I'm likely not going to resist. Why? Because it's also my
responsibility to make the dance enjoyable for him, as well, and to give him
the chance to give me his best dance. If I resist his lead to close a little
more quickly, then I'm depriving him of that and could be depriving us of
something interesting.
I've encountered too many women, who have this idea they can modify the dance
at will...and they can't understand why the really good men don't want to dance
with them. These are women who look fine on the dance floor and are often
dancing for years. The fact is that they need to learn how to follow a lot
better first.
> Fancy that. I was going to say that about most men --
> they're usually too engrossed in the steps to notice the music too much,
> while the women can *choose* when to act and *can* actually listen to the
> music with more than a quarter brain.
Women who lead well enough to dance socially at a milonga will often develop
better musicality skills than women who don't. I know several women whose
deejaying skills improved after they learned how to lead. Both credited having
to hear the music differently as a leader. Aside from women leaders, I find
that more men are willing to work on their musicality than women and the
results show. Could be our regional differences.
Trini de Pittsburgh
_______________________________________________
Tango-L mailing list
[email protected]
http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
