It seems like we seem to be focusing on the more musical aspect of 
things--appropriately so--but there is also a great deal more to life that 
that, and I think his reference to being a link in those other chains should be 
noted. Seems like it all grows or withers together. I don't mean to come off 
sounding like a Hallmark card, but I guess if you feel indifferent to your own 
personal growth then there is something wrong. It is something I ponder a great 
deal, so I totally understand where he's coming from. 




________________________________
From: Jason Kindall <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, January 21, 2010 1:44:10 AM
Subject: Re: Starting from scratch....sort of.

Just wanted to creep out of the corner long enough to say that I think it takes 
real guts and some pretty stellar honesty to open up to your fans and students 
like this.  Kudos to you, Mike.  I look forward to seeing where this part of 
the journey leads you.

Jason



On Wed, Jan 20, 2010 at 19:25, mistertaterbug <[email protected]> wrote:

>Okay, I've decided to go back to the drawing board. It's been looming
>>on the horizon for some time, bugging me, nagging at me in the back of
>>my mind, one of those things that I know needs doing. So here goes...
>
>>While it's true that I've taken some flack of late from uneducated
>>n'er-do-wells with snappy comments regarding the "slop" I play and how
>>I'm apparently luckier than Kenny G in my musical success based upon
>>my apparent lack of ability to be an actual musician, this is not the
>>basis for my conclusion that things need to change. There's a lot of
>>things that need changing around here really, and the musical aspect
>>is only one of the pieces of the puzzle. I'm getting fed up with
>>feeling like the weak link in so many chains, not all of them musical.
>>Call it a delayed New Year's Resolution list, if you will.
>
>>As middle age comes and settles in more firmly I find myself wanting
>>to play better, to understand more, to feel a connection with what I'm
>>doing that's not been there in quite some time. Yes, I've been winging
>>it. But then I suppose I've not fooled everybody judging by the latest
>>flurry of comments and my own personal feelings of musical unrest. I
>>need a feeling of belonging to what I'm doing, I need to feel I'm
>>doing it well, that it's a part of me.  So far, no cigar.
>
>>I sat here today and played "Black Joke w/Variations" as I do every
>>couple days(or so...there's part of the problem right there; lack of
>>consistency and regularity) and made a greater effort to play the
>>notes cleanly and with character. Egad. You'd think I never saw this
>>exercise before. I used to play at it every day, every morning first
>>thing, out on the porch with the mando and the 'dola to do my ritual,
>>my mando-meditation. But now I'm playing it and paying attention to
>>detail in a different way. I am reworking my right hand some due to
>>feeling some wear and tear over the last 38 years and it's hard, REAL
>>hard. I'm working on making it work smoothly and relaxed, but feeling
>>strong and sure. I'm watching my pick angle. I'm watching how much
>>motion I use to make the strokes, how I cross over strings to get to
>>the next, listening to the sound of the notes, the evenness of the
>>tremolo(or not, in this case), watching my pick angle, etc. Everything
>>I can think of. And I know that the more I work, the more things will
>>turn up that need attention.
>
>>Truth is, I spend a lot of time working, but not efficiently. I waste
>>30 minutes here, an hour there not focused on anything. Now I don't
>>mean to say that putting one's brain out of gear now and again is not
>>a good idea, but being on auto-pilot all the time, not filtering what
>>goes in and comes out, is not really a good idea. So, the tune books
>>are out, the paper is out, the iTunes list is open, lyrics are at easy
>>reach. I'm not sure I even know how to accomplish what I want to get
>>done. If I sit and ponder it too hard the task will just seem like too
>>much of a mountain to climb. Maybe in pieces small enough to chew is
>>the way to go, but I feel like now I have to chew all the time to get
>>ahead and see real success, real progress. Real progress will instill
>>passion for success.
>
>>I find I've got a lot more things I want to get done, and feeling I'm
>>playing at the level I think I should be is high on the list. I have
>>raised my standards for myself. I have quite a collection of material
>>I want to learn and explore. The list grows and I just sit and watch
>>it without whittling any of it away. I know myself well enough to know
>>that this will all nag me in the back of my mind until I do something
>>about it. Here I go...
>
>>mistertaterbug
>
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>
>
>
>
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