I just started a book last week titled "Practicing     A Musician's
Return to Music"

http://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Musicians-Return-Glenn-Kurtz/dp/030726615X

The experience of the author has some striking similarities to your
comments Mike.  Practicing with a real ear towards tone and clarity. 
Paying careful attention to all the details.  I highly recommend it. 
Although, I'm not finished with it, so I don't know how it turns out. 
Keep at it Mike.

Bud

> Okay, I've decided to go back to the drawing board. It's been looming
> on the horizon for some time, bugging me, nagging at me in the back of
> my mind, one of those things that I know needs doing. So here goes...
>
> While it's true that I've taken some flack of late from uneducated
> n'er-do-wells with snappy comments regarding the "slop" I play and how
> I'm apparently luckier than Kenny G in my musical success based upon
> my apparent lack of ability to be an actual musician, this is not the
> basis for my conclusion that things need to change. There's a lot of
> things that need changing around here really, and the musical aspect
> is only one of the pieces of the puzzle. I'm getting fed up with
> feeling like the weak link in so many chains, not all of them musical.
> Call it a delayed New Year's Resolution list, if you will.
>
> As middle age comes and settles in more firmly I find myself wanting
> to play better, to understand more, to feel a connection with what I'm
> doing that's not been there in quite some time. Yes, I've been winging
> it. But then I suppose I've not fooled everybody judging by the latest
> flurry of comments and my own personal feelings of musical unrest. I
> need a feeling of belonging to what I'm doing, I need to feel I'm
> doing it well, that it's a part of me.  So far, no cigar.
>
> I sat here today and played "Black Joke w/Variations" as I do every
> couple days(or so...there's part of the problem right there; lack of
> consistency and regularity) and made a greater effort to play the
> notes cleanly and with character. Egad. You'd think I never saw this
> exercise before. I used to play at it every day, every morning first
> thing, out on the porch with the mando and the 'dola to do my ritual,
> my mando-meditation. But now I'm playing it and paying attention to
> detail in a different way. I am reworking my right hand some due to
> feeling some wear and tear over the last 38 years and it's hard, REAL
> hard. I'm working on making it work smoothly and relaxed, but feeling
> strong and sure. I'm watching my pick angle. I'm watching how much
> motion I use to make the strokes, how I cross over strings to get to
> the next, listening to the sound of the notes, the evenness of the
> tremolo(or not, in this case), watching my pick angle, etc. Everything
> I can think of. And I know that the more I work, the more things will
> turn up that need attention.
>
> Truth is, I spend a lot of time working, but not efficiently. I waste
> 30 minutes here, an hour there not focused on anything. Now I don't
> mean to say that putting one's brain out of gear now and again is not
> a good idea, but being on auto-pilot all the time, not filtering what
> goes in and comes out, is not really a good idea. So, the tune books
> are out, the paper is out, the iTunes list is open, lyrics are at easy
> reach. I'm not sure I even know how to accomplish what I want to get
> done. If I sit and ponder it too hard the task will just seem like too
> much of a mountain to climb. Maybe in pieces small enough to chew is
> the way to go, but I feel like now I have to chew all the time to get
> ahead and see real success, real progress. Real progress will instill
> passion for success.
>
> I find I've got a lot more things I want to get done, and feeling I'm
> playing at the level I think I should be is high on the list. I have
> raised my standards for myself. I have quite a collection of material
> I want to learn and explore. The list grows and I just sit and watch
> it without whittling any of it away. I know myself well enough to know
> that this will all nag me in the back of my mind until I do something
> about it. Here I go...
>
> mistertaterbug
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