I think there are by necessity gifts we need to be able to refuse due to exorbitant cost or the circumstances of the giving (does it feel like a bribe? Will other students see it as a bribe?). I have an undergraduate advisee who is quite well off and utterly brilliant (4.0, perhaps the top student I've ever seen at the undergrad level), who gave myself and other profs gifts around Xmas. I (and two golf-playing colleagues) received gift certificates for a round of golf at a local club. Likely value:$35. This pushes the limits of what I might accept, but the circumstances were more of a "thank-you" than anything else. And none of us could suggest he needed a bribe for grades or letters of recommendations. I have also gotten the occasional food product from international students, homemade cookies, and (as a gag gift, I hope) a jar of pigs' feet (I'm in south Georgia, after all). In all cases, the gifts seemed to come as a genuine appreciation, typically after a term was over and grades assigned, and were of very low cost. So I agree with Harry: intent and proportion. David W.
At 09:09 AM 2/19/2002 -0800, Harry Avis wrote: >I think we must consider the intent of the gift and the proportionality. >Buying an entire dinner for a group of people on a whim is way out of >proportion. A small gift such as a coffee mug might reasonably be >considered an intentionless present. The most unusual gifts I received >were two box xeat tickets to an opera in San Francisco and marijuana >joints on two different occasions. The tickets were a woman and her >daughter who could not use them. I had had both the mother and the >daughter in my classes and the daughter was working with me on a project. >The joints were from two different students and placed inside a card on my >desk during finals. I didn't even open them until class was over and so I >had no way of verifying who was the giver. If the Enron executives can get >away with declining to testify, I will decline to state what happened to them. > >Harry Avis PhD >Sierra College >Rocklin, CA 95677 >email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > >Life is opinion - Marcus Aurelius >There is nothing that is good or bad, but that thinking makes it so - >Shakespeare > >>How do you decline the gifts? I have received a small plaque extolling the >>virtues of teachers, a framed stamp honoring teachers, a small bud vase >>(I like >>flowers from my garden in my office), a coffee mug or two, a calendar or two, >>countless cards, etc. I think that to refuse them would take away from the >>person's good intention and kindness. Of course, I'd love a cruise to the >>caribbean, but no one has offered that. I did get a coupon for a ham one time >>and another time, a coupon for free christmas tree, after writing nearly 50 >>letters of recommendation for graduate programs a $75 gift certificate to a >>restaurant (from a very wealthy student!). So is the $75 something to return >>compared to a card? Do these things get "valued" differently? What do we >>do????? >> >>Annette >> >>Quoting Susan Freedman <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>: >> >> > I too have worried about accepting small gifts or cards from students >> > after >> > the close of the semester. Usually it is something that the student in >> > >> > question has made and though I treasure such things as momentos and/or >> > >> > concrete reinforcements, I wonder whether it is good practice to accept >> > >> > them. I'm also somewhat uncomfortable witht he concept of asking >> > students >> > for reference letters to put in a teaching portfolio, but perhaps that's >> > >> > too tangential. >> > >> > >> > >> > At 02:21 PM 2/18/2002 -0800, you wrote: >> > >I must agree with Klatsky. While accepting a dinner invitation at a >> > >fraternity or sorority is appropriate, since the invitation came from >> > the >> > >organization itself and these organizations have a connection with the >> > >> > >college or university, permitting a student to pay for a meal >> > regardless >> > >of the circumstances is not. I have received small gifts from students >> > at >> > >the end of the semester and have accepted them and I do wonder at the >> > >> > >appropriateness of this, but allowing a student to buy dinner for me >> > and a >> > >group of my friends is too far down the slippery slope for me. >> > > >> > >Or are we being put on again? Could it be that Michael is waving a red >> > >> > >flag in front of us to see if anyone charges? >> > >Harry Avis PhD >> > >Sierra College >> > >Rocklin, CA 95677 >> > >email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >> > > >> > >Life is opinion - Marcus Aurelius >> > >There is nothing that is good or bad, but that thinking makes it so >> > - >> > >Shakespeare >> > > >> > > >> > >>>No, it's not nice. It is extremely inappropriate >> > >> >> > >>Gary J. Klatsky, Ph. D. >> > >> >> > >>Recently I have been receiving invitations from the Fraternity and >> > Sorority >> > >>organizations to dinner. I guess they have some kind of a program to >> > get to >> > >>know the faculty members better.they are a few students in my class >> > who >> > >>belong to those Greek organizations. >> > >>I just hope that this is not an attempt to get a favorable grade. >> > >>I have accepted the invitations .I have heard that they serve some >> > good >> > >>food. >> > >>And while on this subject(free associating),I find that some >> > students >> > >>from the Middle East like to invite their profs for dinner.I have >> > >>gone to many of them and their dinners are very good with that vimto >> > >>drink.Are those Cross-cultural customs or attempts to influence? >> > >>One time I was at a restaurant with some friends and a Kuwaiti >> > student >> > >>in my class was dining with his own friends.He came over and took our >> > tabs >> > >>and paid for the meals.Isn't that nice? >> > >> >> > >>Michael Sylvester,PhD >> > >>Daytona Beach,Florida >> > > >> >> >> >>Annette Taylor, Ph.D. >>Associate Professor of Psychology >>University of San Diego >>[EMAIL PROTECTED] >> >>--- >>You are currently subscribed to tips as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >>To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > >_________________________________________________________________ >MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: >http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx > > >--- >You are currently subscribed to tips as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] David T. Wasieleski, Ph.D. Associate Professor Department of Psychology and Counseling Valdosta State University 229-333-5620 http://chiron.valdosta.edu/dtwasieleski "All I ever wanted to do was to learn how to break this world in two To teach it all the tricks I wanted it to learn To teach it how to do what I want it to do No one really understands how simple and plain and predictable I am..." --Everclear "Short Blonde Hair" --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
