> > Some Actual Signs
> > > In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." >
> > On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts." > > Outside a
>radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak." > > In a
>nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on > fire
>and take appropriate action." > > On a maternity room door, "Push, Push,
>Push." > > On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian
>except the > dog." > > At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what
>you're looking for, > you've come to the right place." > > On a
>taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff." > > On a butcher's
>window, "Let me meat your needs." > > On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog
>food is expensive." > > At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on
>your feet -- miss a > car payment." > > Outside a muffler shop, "No
>appointment necessary. We'll hear you > coming." > > In a dry cleaner's
>emporium, "Drop your pants here." > > On a desk in a reception room, "We
>shoot every 3rd salesman, and the > 2nd one just left." > > In a
>veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" > > At
>the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your > bill.
>However, if you don't, you will be." > > In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!" > >
>On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what >
>you've got." (Burglars please copy.) > > In a restaurant window, "Don't
>stand there and be hungry, come in and > get fed up." > > Inside a bowling
>alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." > > In a cafeteria,
>"Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can > eat any place
>they want."
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