Joann, It must have been very difficult for you to write that post, but sharing your first-hand experience with such enlightening details is helpful to those of us who try our best to put the right face on this distressing issue when we address it in our classrooms. (And I do discuss the loss of a child and its effect on the family in my Human Development and Child Development classes.)
I found your mention that silence descends when you bring up your children who have died to be especially poignant. How terrible for you, and I don't doubt that that pain still seems so fresh. I'm sure it doesn't matter, to a mother, whether it was thirty days or thirty years ago. Please accept my deepest sympathy. Beth Benoit Granite State College Plymouth State University New Hampshire On Thu, Aug 5, 2010 at 11:17 AM, Joann Jelly <[email protected]> wrote: > Having lost two young adult sons through acccidents and researching > parental bereavement for my dissertation, I would like to make a few > points, not necessarily related to the DSM-4 or 5. Perhaps I should have > done so early in the discussion, yet some 30 plus years later, the > situations/topics are difficult to discuss. > > Many (how many) bereaved parents in my research groups mentioned they were > sad and pointedly said they were not depressed and wanted that point to be > understood. > > Isolation: bereaved parents are living most parents worst nightmare and > know it and are isolated by others similar to widows in a social group. > When we are in a group who know our children and talk about our children > who are dead, silence descends, (denial of death by most of us?) and so we > don't. > > The experience of bereavement of children (or anyone really close) is very > individual and yet some patterns of similarly are evident. "Confusion re > one's role and diminished sense of self," seems to be expressed in different > ways and many bereaved parents find that we "redesign" our lives. > Personally, I returned to school, attained a doctorate and still (STILL) am > teaching in a community college; I love being with our students and > interacting with their life stress situations. I did find comfort and > affilition in The Compassional Friends a national parental bereavement > "self-help" group and I lead group meetings and performed much of my > research for the dissertation through this group. > > Just thought I would throw my experience in the discussion, hope it helps. > > Joann Jelly, > Psychology Instructor > Barstow Community College > > > > > --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected]. To unsubscribe click here: http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df5d5&n=T&l=tips&o=4017 or send a blank email to leave-4017-13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df...@fsulist.frostburg.edu
