Terry, there is a STREET PREACHER just waiting to
come out.....come out of the closet. This is what public preaching is
all about....don"t stop now.....let it flow......and don't just write
us....preach it from the roof top.
The Church of Anything Goes. I had an epiphany last night. I am tired
of
having to pray every day for the finances of this ministry. I am tired
of
people sending me nasty and hateful emails. I am tired of warning people
of
God's coming judgment. So I decided to start a new church. It will be
THE
best church man has ever known. You will be able to come every Sunday
and
never have to worry about feeling convicted because of the choices you
are
making. You will never have to hear about things like sin, service,
or
sacrifice. No, you just come each Sunday knowing that nobody will
ever
judge you or tell you how to live because you will be at...THE CHURCH
OF
ANYTHING GOES!
I'm going to start this new church in Tampa,
Florida where I live. I was
thinking about a good place to meet and
realized The Church of Anything Goes
is going to be so popular we won't be
able to hold services in a normal
building. So I'm going to call the
Glazers who own the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
and rent Raymond James Stadium on
Sunday mornings. RJ holds about 70,000
people and that may not even be
large enough, since I have no doubt people
will be running to attend
services at The Church of Anything Goes. Within a
year we will have
branches of this new church in every city, town, and
village in the U.S.,
and within two years, all over the world.
In planning some outreaches
for The Church of Anything Goes, I came up with
three right away. The first
is an Adultery Pride Parade. I am so tired of
seeing people who are only
being themselves and have to have sex outside of
their marriage being told
they are wrong. After all, everyone knows 99% of
the people who are married
commit adultery. Everyone knows that people are
born to have sex with
multiple partners. I can't understand why people are
so intolerant, so
judgmental of others who aren't bothering them. Didn't
God say, "be
fruitful and multiply?" God created people to have sex so why
are people so
upset with people who are married having sex with people who
aren't their
spouse?
Those who have sex outside of their marriage have been made to
feel shame
long enough. It is time for them to "come out" and be proud of
who they
are. Why should anyone be ashamed of being an adulterer? A parade
is the
perfect answer. Marching up and down the streets of America,
proudly
proclaiming that, "I'm an adulterer!" Floats, balloons, marching
bands, a
real time to celebrate the joy of committing adultery. I can see
this
parade being broadcast on TV just like the Rose Parade on New Years or
the
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City.
The second
outreach for the new Church of Anything Goes is going to be
political. I
don't know about you, but I think it is a shame that in this
great country
of such diversity, people who enjoy having sex with animals
are treated
like second class citizens, denied their basic human rights,
discriminated
against. If you happen to love a pig and people at your job
find out about
it, you are most likely going to be terminated. If you try
to buy a new
home for you and your chicken that are in a committed
relationship, chances
are good that you will be denied. If your significant
other happens to be a
goat, they aren't going to be eligible for the same
benefits married
couples receive. A man and his sheep should be able to
adopt children! How
dare states limit marriage to a man and a woman when a
woman and her horse
have every right to enjoy the happiness and fulfillment
and full legal
benefits of marriage.
No doubt one of the first outreaches of The
Church of Anything Goes will be
to help insure the legal rights of those
men and women who by no fault of
their own, were born to have sex with
animals. In addition, we will start
public awareness campaigns to help
society be more tolerant. A good place
to start will be in the schools,
educating children through clubs and
curriculum that there is nothing wrong
with people who choose to have sex
with animals. That is simply who they
are, and just because you have a
mother and father, some children have a
dad and a goat.
The third big outreach we will have each year is Swap
Days at Disney. The
Church of Anything Goes will be a very popular church
among those who like
to trade wives and husbands. Swingers from all over
the country can come to
Disney one weekend a year and literally take over
the facilities. They will
book all the hotels and of course no need to
close any room doors during
Swap Days. They can go to the Magic Kingdom
with their wife one day, visit
the Animal Kingdom with their friend's wife
the next, go to Epcot the next
day with someone else's wife, the
possibilities are endless. After all,
even though Disney promotes itself as
a "family friendly" theme park, we all
know that as long as a group can
bring them millions of dollars they welcome
them with open arms.
OK,
I better stop before too many of you start heading to St. Petersburg
to
have me committed. Because I have been doing this for so long and know
some
of you may have taken me seriously, let me state for the record that I
was
being facetious. Let me now be very serious. As much as I wish The
Church
of Anything Goes was a fictional church, I am sad to say that it
really does
exist. Of course they don't have the guts to use that name, but
in essence
that is exactly how they operate. You will never hear about sin,
how God
expects us to live according to His Word, or about surrendering our
lives to
Him. You will only hear about how "God is love," and all you have
to do is
try, and that we all sin so don't worry about it, and most of all,
do
whatever makes you happy.
These are the churches that treat God's
Word like a "nice book with some
good thoughts," but not something you
should take seriously. These are the
churches where you will find gross
sins like homosexuality, murdering
babies, fornication, people living
together without being married, and many
others accepted and tolerated
because they don't want to "offend" anyone.
In these churches, Truth is not
found in the Bible but is whatever you want
it to be. These churches tell
people there really is no place called Hell
and there are many roads
leading to God. Such churches are an abomination
to God and a stench in His
nostrils!!!
