The Church of Anything Goes. I had an epiphany last night. I am tired of
having to pray every day for the finances of this ministry. I am tired
of
people sending me nasty and hateful emails. I am tired of warning
people of
God's coming judgment. So I decided to start a new church. It will be
THE
best church man has ever known. You will be able to come every Sunday
and
never have to worry about feeling convicted because of the choices you
are
making. You will never have to hear about things like sin, service, or
sacrifice. No, you just come each Sunday knowing that nobody will ever
judge you or tell you how to live because you will be at...THE CHURCH OF
ANYTHING GOES!
I'm going to start this new church in Tampa, Florida where I live. I was
thinking about a good place to meet and realized The Church of Anything
Goes
is going to be so popular we won't be able to hold services in a normal
building. So I'm going to call the Glazers who own the Tampa Bay
Buccaneers
and rent Raymond James Stadium on Sunday mornings. RJ holds about 70,000
people and that may not even be large enough, since I have no doubt
people
will be running to attend services at The Church of Anything Goes.
Within a
year we will have branches of this new church in every city, town, and
village in the U.S., and within two years, all over the world.
In planning some outreaches for The Church of Anything Goes, I came up
with
three right away. The first is an Adultery Pride Parade. I am so tired
of
seeing people who are only being themselves and have to have sex
outside of
their marriage being told they are wrong. After all, everyone knows 99%
of
the people who are married commit adultery. Everyone knows that people
are
born to have sex with multiple partners. I can't understand why people
are
so intolerant, so judgmental of others who aren't bothering them. Didn't
God say, "be fruitful and multiply?" God created people to have sex so
why
are people so upset with people who are married having sex with people
who
aren't their spouse?
Those who have sex outside of their marriage have been made to feel
shame
long enough. It is time for them to "come out" and be proud of who they
are. Why should anyone be ashamed of being an adulterer? A parade is the
perfect answer. Marching up and down the streets of America, proudly
proclaiming that, "I'm an adulterer!" Floats, balloons, marching bands,
a
real time to celebrate the joy of committing adultery. I can see this
parade being broadcast on TV just like the Rose Parade on New Years or
the
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City.
The second outreach for the new Church of Anything Goes is going to be
political. I don't know about you, but I think it is a shame that in
this
great country of such diversity, people who enjoy having sex with
animals
are treated like second class citizens, denied their basic human rights,
discriminated against. If you happen to love a pig and people at your
job
find out about it, you are most likely going to be terminated. If you
try
to buy a new home for you and your chicken that are in a committed
relationship, chances are good that you will be denied. If your
significant
other happens to be a goat, they aren't going to be eligible for the
same
benefits married couples receive. A man and his sheep should be able to
adopt children! How dare states limit marriage to a man and a woman
when a
woman and her horse have every right to enjoy the happiness and
fulfillment
and full legal benefits of marriage.
No doubt one of the first outreaches of The Church of Anything Goes
will be
to help insure the legal rights of those men and women who by no fault
of
their own, were born to have sex with animals. In addition, we will
start
public awareness campaigns to help society be more tolerant. A good
place
to start will be in the schools, educating children through clubs and
curriculum that there is nothing wrong with people who choose to have
sex
with animals. That is simply who they are, and just because you have a
mother and father, some children have a dad and a goat.
The third big outreach we will have each year is Swap Days at Disney.
The
Church of Anything Goes will be a very popular church among those who
like
to trade wives and husbands. Swingers from all over the country can
come to
Disney one weekend a year and literally take over the facilities. They
will
book all the hotels and of course no need to close any room doors during
Swap Days. They can go to the Magic Kingdom with their wife one day,
visit
the Animal Kingdom with their friend's wife the next, go to Epcot the
next
day with someone else's wife, the possibilities are endless. After all,
even though Disney promotes itself as a "family friendly" theme park,
we all
know that as long as a group can bring them millions of dollars they
welcome
them with open arms.
OK, I better stop before too many of you start heading to St.
Petersburg to
have me committed. Because I have been doing this for so long and know
some
of you may have taken me seriously, let me state for the record that I
was
being facetious. Let me now be very serious. As much as I wish The
Church
of Anything Goes was a fictional church, I am sad to say that it really
does
exist. Of course they don't have the guts to use that name, but in
essence
that is exactly how they operate. You will never hear about sin, how God
expects us to live according to His Word, or about surrendering our
lives to
Him. You will only hear about how "God is love," and all you have to do
is
try, and that we all sin so don't worry about it, and most of all, do
whatever makes you happy.
These are the churches that treat God's Word like a "nice book with some
good thoughts," but not something you should take seriously. These are
the
churches where you will find gross sins like homosexuality, murdering
babies, fornication, people living together without being married, and
many
others accepted and tolerated because they don't want to "offend"
anyone.
In these churches, Truth is not found in the Bible but is whatever you
want
it to be. These churches tell people there really is no place called
Hell
and there are many roads leading to God. Such churches are an
abomination
to God and a stench in His nostrils!!!
----------
"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may
know how you ought to answer every man." (Colossians 4:6)
http://www.InnGlory.org
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