Back when I was an NBC Page, Howie Mandel had his clone of Rosie O’Donnell’s daytime talk show. I got along really well with nearly everybody on the crew, the writers in particular. One day, while seating the audience, I couldn’t help but notice it was not the usual “paid hobos” as That Scottish Conan Guy used to refer to them. For reasons I could not understand, the entire Portland Trailblazers Dancers crew was there to attend a taping... a couple dozen NBA cheerleaders... and me. Upon learning this, word came down from the writer’s room: If I could get the cheerleaders into their room after the show, I’d be guaranteed a job.
Granted, Howie’s show was not the best representation of the talents of anyone involved; Howie wasn’t allowed to be Howie, and the writers weren’t really allowed to produce any material that wasn’t in the style of what Rosie would do (keep in mind she dominated daytime at that point). Guests were rarely A-List. Along the way Howie did manage to find his own local characters to regularly appear (think Mujibur and Sirajul), including an elderly lady named Francis who ran what she called a “cake museum.” Nevertheless, a job was a job (one was only allowed to be an NBC Page for a year). I worked my magic (my magic involved a lot of pathetic begging) and filled the writer’s room with cheerleaders. This was an absolute lock for me. Howie liked me. The writer’s liked me. The talent department liked me. The announcer (aka the voice of The Brain) liked me. I’d even appeared on camera on the show a couple times. What could possibly go wrong? Enter Jeff Kopp. Kopp was the executive in charge of production for the studio that financed the show. He was the money. He also, it turned out, had no sense of humor and had no business being around the world of comedy. I see — looking at his IMDB page — that he is now over at James Corden’s show. Can’t say I’m surprised. A day or two after my hook up with the lovely ladies of the NBA, I was stationed in the hallway between studio 1 (where Howie taped) and studio 3 (where Jay Leno taped... and yes, they still used tape back then). My job was basically to check names off a guest list for the Tonight Show. Couldn’t be simpler. What could possibly go wrong? Enter Jeff Kopp. Kopp emerged from studio 1 and apropos of nothing, asked me who Jay’s guests were that night. I don’t recall who specifically, but it was a night of big named celebrities. Kopp nodded as I told him... and then it happened... I opened my big, fat, gaping hole of a mouth. Couldn’t resist it. Couldn’t help myself. Immediately after I’d told him whatever supermodel or action film star was on, I added, “... but I’m sure that’s only because Francis the cake lady was unavailable.” “You’re a smart-mouthed little shit,” I was rightly told by Mr. Kopp. I was not hired on Howie’s show. I don’t know if it was possible to be fired when I was never actually hired, but however you want to define it, one stupid comment by me derailed my career. I would go on to derail six or seven different careers... and I ain’t done yet. I am sorry for your circumstances and hope they change for the better. I spend my working days in the warehouse of a hot print shop making labels mostly for manufacturers of sex lube. Workers of the world unite! On Tue, Aug 14, 2018 at 6:58 PM Doug Eastick <east...@mcd.on.ca> wrote: > The TIFU means "today I f'd up" > > > > > > TIFU by posting a pic to reddit and destroying my career > > Obligatory "this happened several months ago." > > For the past 20 years, basically right out of college, I worked in closed > captioning and subtitling. This involves transcribing television programs > and movies and timing the transcription to sync to the video. It's a lot of > typing and even more watching a bizarrely varied amount of TV and film. > > I worked for several companies around the country. What started as a "just > for now" job grew into a career, I became production director in a few > organizations, and I became one of the fastest captioners in the country. > When my company in New York City shut down, I found myself in possession of > a very expensive piece of captioning software and a fair amount of clients, > so I began working freelance. > > The clients began to dwindle as more and more work started going overseas, > but I was working steadily based on one Huge Client that had robust > Netflix, HBO, and Hulu contracts, and the rates they paid were ridiculously > large. If you ever watched Chicago PD or Ray Donovan with the subtitles > turned on, that was me. > > For the first time in my life, I was able to put money away for > retirement, travel to Europe, go out to eat without checking my balance, > never worry about the bank account running dry, all while working maybe 4 > hours a day out of my bedroom walk-in closet. It was a magnificent few > years. > > One day, I am captioning a Disney Channel cartoon that I had never seen > before, and in one scene, a child is hanging his doodles in an art gallery. > One of the doodles is of Trogdor the Burninator of Homestar Runner fame. > "He lives on!" I think, and then, being a hopeless reddit addict, I post a > screenshot to the Homestar sub and forget all about it. > > Fast forward three months when I get an email from Huge Client > investigating a "very serious matter" in which a screenshot of a cartoon > had been posted to reddit. Turns out, the cartoon had never aired before. > Turns out, Disney was pissed. Turns out, the list of suspects that had > access to the video was very short. > > I took immediate responsibility and profusely apologized, but the damage > had been done. I had boneheadedly violated every nondisclosure and employee > contract I'd signed with them by posting that single screenshot, and they > terminated all future dealings with me, voided the $6,000 in invoices I had > outstanding, and stated in very polite terms that I was lucky Disney wasn't > suing my pasty white ass. > > After the fallout settled, I had no steady income. A few commercials and > YouTube broadcasts that needed subtitles, but nothing reliable, and NYC > rent drains bank accounts quickly. I reached out to every other captioning > outfit in the country, but no luck. So, that left me at 40 with a > staggeringly narrow and largely obsolete skill set forced to start over > from square one. I am currently working for the Postal Service doing > blue-collar work in 90-degree heat and mourning the days when watching TV > in my jammies till 3 PM was my job. > > All gone because of a reddit post of a forgettable cartoon that only got a > measly 150 updoots. > > TLDR: I violated the terms of an absurdly kushy job by posting to reddit, > and now I deliver packages. > > > https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/97a8in/tifu_by_posting_a_pic_to_reddit_and_destroying_my/ > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "TVorNotTV" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to tvornottv+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > -- Kevin M. (RPCV) -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TVorNotTV" group. 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