New York, August 7th, 2009: Convenience stores from around the world have reported a massive jump in Kit Kat sales during the shutdown of the Twitter API, after Twitter experienced the denial-of-service attack on Thursday, August 6th, 2009.
Anxious developers, who are running independent services that rely on the Twitter API, have been taking frequent breaks from chewing their nails, tearing their hair out, and watching their services come to a grinding halt, and have been relying solely on the calming break- taking magic of Kit Kat to soothe their frayed nerves. One developer, who preferred to remain anonymous due to the sudden increase in the size of his bank overdraft, told our reporter that he had commandeered the neighborhood kids to form a human chain between his study and the convenience store, so that the Kit Kats he required for his frequent breaks could be supplied without interruption. Even though some conspiracy theorists immediately alluded to a collusion between Twitter and the makers of Kit Kat, our investigations could not uncover any truth to that rumor. Normal patrons of convenience stores are cautioned to send to the front of the line any raggedy looking person that mumbles in PHP or Perl, and whose fingernails are chewed into the raw flesh. PS. This is an obligatory satire warning.
