ELLIN:I think there's another subset of teachers who simply don't see
themselves as intellectuals at all. They see themselves as people who love kids
and love to watch them learn but don't see the relevance of living an
intellectual life or simply don't think about it much. I would also include
myself in that group, early in my teaching career. I am not a classically
educated scholar at any level and found when I was writing this book that I had
a very narrow definition in my own mind about what it meant to be an
intellectual, to live an intellectual life and to share that with children. I
pictured ivory tower types who translate The Odyssey in ivy-covered halls, I
guess, but now I realize that some of the things I did every day as a teacher
and do in my life outside schools to this day are very intellectually engaging.
I wanted to use the fourth section of each of the chapters you're about to read
to explore teachers as intellectuals, including my own process of identifying
myself as an intellectual. I hope everyone who reads To Understand will begin
to revise their views of themselves as intellectuals and will begin to share
that part of their lives with their students. That's really a key issue for me
- whether it works in those 4th sections remains to be seen, but that was my
intent.
RESPONSE:
I wish I didn't, but I feel compelled to respond because this post (after
reading the book) caused a flood of mixed feelings on my part. I feel like I'm
about to reveal myself to The Lonely Hearts Club (that happens to be on the
Net!). In the space of a couple of months, I reread Regie (Teaching
Essentials) and then Ellin, and heard them talking about what is, to me, a
WELL-ROUNDED life. Okay, more from Regie.
I'm one of the people who are stuck outside the Venn diagram. I don't fit in
either circle, and I certainly don't fit in the intersection of those who lead
an intellectual, well-rounded life! If I lived a well-rounded life, I would
relate to Ellin's experiences with art or know the names of early feminists or
how much the war has cost us to date or why Michael Jackson is actually a
better dancer than Fred Astaire or be able to compare and contrast major and
minor religions in the world. Or maybe invent a classroom pencil sharpener and
stapler that work!! You see, I am so poorly rounded that I can't even think of
what it is I should know. :-(
Intellectual? I don't know. Not that circle either, I'm afraid. I was a
fairly good college student (go UNC, Ellin!), but only if you count grades as
defining good. Thinking? Not so much. I was a fairly good graduate student,
but only if you compare me to the people around me, not to the real thinkers of
the profession. I'm a fairly good reader...but I probably couldn't pass an AR
test. A fairly good writer...but I have nothing to say that anyone would want
to read.
So here I am slouching around the Venn circles, looking in at you all.
But here's the deal - I am searingly interested in human learning, especially
in children, but in us all. To say it fascinates me misrepresents and
underemphasizes my drive to know and TO UNDERSTAND. My own children once drew
a cartoon of me with a section of my skull removed and there was my right
brain, but it was so small that they had to draw an arrow to it, labeling it.
The left side of my brain filled the rest of my skull and I was probably
hydrocephalic as well. It was not sympathetic to the one who created and
birthed them, for sure!
>From Sylvia Ashton-Warner to Ellin Keene - I am endlessly fascinated with
>peeling off the layers and layers of what we feel and see and hear until we
>discover what matters most to a particular learner. What is essential and
>what is still unseen, unheard, unknown--but possible. I can't dump a box of
>toothpicks on the floor and know in a second how many are there holistically,
>but sometimes I feel that what I think and what I know seems as strange to
>others.
But, you know what? I am intellectually engaged every single time I observe
another human being learn, so I am busy a lot of the time!! But NOW comes the
real reason I'm responding to this post as well as those in the last couple of
days. I don't hide my intellectual self from the students with whom I work; I
share my thinking on a continuous basis. But...I protect myself from others by
not revealing myself, which Ellin was so kind as to "bless." There have simply
been too many times when I've been marginalized with "you're overthinking" or
"don't overintellectualize" or "you're just a deep thinker" or "you're too
smart." Plainly put, I feel like I know what it's like to have a handicapping
condition. Barbara Colorosa says that her son is "severely and profoundly
gifted." Yup, you read right. She says that teachers don't really like the
Gifted gifted. They like kids who are pretty darn smart, but not that smart.
They cause problems.
It doesn't cause anyone else problems for me to live a literate life because I
can do that in isolation. But it makes many people uncomfortable to
relentlessly pursue knowledge as an educator. I once said we were pathological
Sally Fields: "Do they like me? Do they really, really like me?" To think
more deeply than you can in isolation, you need to share your thinking with
other thinkers. But it feels like to me that those people have been drummed
out, or bored out, of the profession. And, while I enjoy cute little anecdotes
of children as much as the next teacher, I would really prefer to go deep,
deep, deep into their thinking. But when I do, I'm outside the circle in more
ways than one....
To live an intellectual life? Endlessly fascinating. To go from the great to
the possible? Terrifying. Because I know the courage and perseverance that
takes. So it's back in the closet I go. And the impossible becomes the
possible only when I'm willing to remodel.
But I've overthought again, haven't I?
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