[UC] Pectopans in Yugoslavia

[Krfapt]

The last time I was in Yugoslavia (yes, that's dating myself), I thought the pectopans (which is where they "go out to eat" in the Serbian neighborhoods) were terrible. For one thing, the menus were in Serbian. And while I knew the Cyrillic alphabet well enough to sound out the words and pronounce everything, I had no idea what any of it meant. Worse than that, the waiters couldn't speak English at any of the places I went to. And nobody seemed inclined to attempt to explain how the whole thing worked. I tried watching some of the foreigners who seemed familiar with the process, but that only got me food I had no idea what was in and was afraid to eat.

And something simple like cold water? Forget it. Asking for an ice cube (if memory serves, "Vodah c' ledom") was considered presumptuous and they let you know it. Someone I met on the street trying to get me to sell him American Dollars at a rate much better than the official exchange (for which I suppose I could have been tossed in jail by Marshal Tito himself) taught me to say "pivo kholodno" which supposedly means "cold beer." But it really meant passed in the vicinity of the establishment's sole cube of "led" on its way from the carton to your table.

I definitely wouldn't recommend dining out in Serbia today. Unless they have a McDonald's, a Ben and Jerry's, or maybe a Hilton with a Benihana's if you're in the mood for some exotic cuisine.

Al Krigman