Cop: We found all these Beethoven LP's in your duffle bag. That's some pretty sophisticated listening. Suspect: I stole them! Cop: Stole them? from who? Suspect: I don't remember. Cop: You stole these Beehthoven LP's from who?!!! Suspect: Get bent! Cop: You stole these Beethoven LP's from who?!!!! Suspect: FROM _WHOM_ YOU MORON! "FROM" IS A FREAKING _PREPOSITION_! YOU USE THE OBJECTIVE FORM AFTER A FREAKING PREPOSITION! AND IT'S FREAKING _BACH_ YOU CHEESE EATING PEASANT! THEY SOUND NOTHING ALIKE! BACH WAS A BAROQUE COMPOSER WHO LIVED A HUNDRED YEARS BEFORE BEETHOVEN!!
[long pause] Cop: Well well well..... Now let's have a talk about this Nieman Marcus card we found in your dog's napsack, shall we? -----Original Message----- From: Ross Bender [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > I'm trying to imagine the interrogation down at the Roundhouse: Cop 1: Where'd ya go to college, kid? Suspect: College? What college? I'm a high school dropout. Cop 1: Look kid, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I'm gonna ask you one more time, Where'd ya go to college?" Suspect: <snarls> School of hard knocks, my good gendarme. Cop 1: Oh, you speaks French, does ya? Where'd ya learn yer French?? Suspect: <spits> I seen it in a movie. Cop 1: Don't suppose you learned it at Oberlin, maybe? Or Cornell? Suspect: Never heard of 'em. Cop 1: Like I said, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. <enter Cop 2. Loud smacking noises> Cop 2: Never went to college, huh? What's this dirty old diploma we found in yer ditty bag? Says "Harvard, Ph.D, 1997". Wanna explain that? Suspect: I was awarded an honorary doctorate. -- Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
