On 6/19/07, Kyle Cassidy <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Cop: We found all these Beethoven LP's in your duffle bag. That's some pretty sophisticated listening. Suspect: I stole them! Cop: Stole them? from who? Suspect: I don't remember. Cop: You stole these Beehthoven LP's from who?!!! Suspect: Get bent! Cop: You stole these Beethoven LP's from who?!!!! Suspect: FROM _WHOM_ YOU MORON! "FROM" IS A FREAKING _PREPOSITION_! YOU USE THE OBJECTIVE FORM AFTER A FREAKING PREPOSITION! AND IT'S FREAKING _BACH_ YOU CHEESE EATING PEASANT! THEY SOUND NOTHING ALIKE! BACH WAS A BAROQUE COMPOSER WHO LIVED A HUNDRED YEARS BEFORE BEETHOVEN!! [long pause] Cop: Well well well..... Now let's have a talk about this Nieman Marcus card we found in your dog's napsack, shall we?
Cop 1: OK lady, where'd ya go to college? Female Suspect (with Mohawk): Never done went to no friggin college, copper. Cop 1: Does the name Bryn Mawr ring a bell with you? Female Suspect: Never heard of her. Cop 1: Ya know, we had a young lady last Christmas down here, tried to board an airplane at Philly International with a condom stuffed full of white powder. *She* went to Bryn Mawr. Female Suspect: Never heard of her. Cop 1: She didn't wanna cooperate with us either. Had to lean on her a little bit. Good lookin kid, I must say, but at least she didn't deny going to Bryn Mawr. Thing I kept wondering was how come she was carryin around stuffed condoms. Thought Bryn Mawr was a ladies' college. Female Suspect: THAT'S **WOMEN'S** COLLEGE, YA DUMB MICK! Cop 1: Oh, pardonnez-moi. "Women's" college. Way I thought heard it, Bryn Mawr had gone coed. But geez, if it's all girls, I can sorta understand your general frustration with society, know what I mean? Female Suspect: You friggin sexist pig! Look, I know my rights. I wanna call my Daddy's lawyer. He'll sue the crap outta you. -- Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
