Posted by Eugene Volokh:
Self-Hating:

   [1]Eric Muller (IsThatLegal?) points out that some people may indeed
   be "self-hating Xs": "[B]ecause the person's X-ness is very important
   to him or her yet also at some subconscious level causes or has caused
   him or her a great deal of discomfort, he or she denies and even flees
   from his or her X-ness[, and m]aybe even disapproves of or is somehow
   repulsed by visible X-ness in others."

   Doubtless this is so for some people, and if you really know a person
   well enough -- preferably from personal acquaintance, but possibly
   from serious observation of his public comments -- you might be able
   to legitimately criticize the person as "self-hating." But [2]my
   point, which I stand by, was that many people use the "self-hating X"
   locution without any real evidence of actual self-hatred.

   Rather, the term tends to function (not always, but very often) as a
   cheap smear, or at best as an entirely unsupported inference that any
   X (Jew, homosexual, Asians) who might find flaws in common attributes
   of fellow Xs must surely exhibit the psychological profile that Eric
   describes. So if you do have evidence that someone really is
   self-hating, that's fine. But in my experience, very few uses of this
   term actually rest on such evidence.

References

   1. 
http://www.isthatlegal.org/archives/2004_08_15_isthatlegal_archive.html#109279179956194922
   2. http://volokh.com/archives/archive_2004_08_14.shtml#1092769963

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