Ok, Vorts... Since this list has disintegrated into an over the back fence discussion group concerning theology and things that go bump in the night, here's one you might find interesting. I often become the Invisible Man. No, really.
When Bill posted that bit about the disappearing coffee stir stick, I had to chuckle. That sort of thing happens to me so frequently that I hardly notice it. It happens to others in my presence. Things disappear for months or years anywhere within arms length of me. My employes just make sure there are lots of whatever I need around just so when something necessary disappears for a while, there's another one to use. I have no control over this and really, it pretty embarrassing. That's just a minor aspect of what I have come to call the Invisible Man Syndrome. It's become worse over the last 30 years or so. I have no control over it, and it's very real. You older Vorts might remember "The Shadow", an old radio program where Orson Welles announced, "The Shadow knows, the Shadow who has the power to cloud men's minds so that they cannot see him." That's me, except for inconvenience of not being able to make it happen when I want. It started with fairly minor episodes in restaurants with incidents that probably happen to everyone to one extent or another. A waiter would take everyone's order at the table but mine. Or a waiter would take my order as well, but only deliver everone else's. My family and friends would just usually say that I wasn't being assertive enough or some such. Then, it began to get worse, but still minor restaurant stuff. A waiter would deliver everone else's order, return with my order, offer it to everyone else at the table and then leave. I would then have to chase the waiter down. Then things began to get dangerous. People began to run into me on the street. They would just walk right into me as though they couldn't see me. In fact, they couldn't see me. The range of responses to this was fairly amusing. Usually just, "Sorry, I didn't see you." But sometimes I would get, "Where the hell did you come from?" One time I was knocked down while standing on the sidewalk talking to a business associate and then stepped on and tripped over by others who apparently couldn't see me, but then looked around wondering what the obstruction was. After that, I had several incidents in parking lots where I was nearly run down by drivers who were clearly looking right at me, but just couldn't see me. I was actually struck one time, but fortunately was not injured seriously, ending up on the hood of the car right on the windshield in front of the driver. Finally, she saw me, got out of her car and simply said, "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you." This went on for years, with everyone I know continuing to say that it's just my imagination, I should assert myself more, it couldn't really be true, it's just bad luck, it's just a coincidence, etc., etc., etc. Incidentally, these "invisiblilty episodes" happen irregularly, for no apparent reason. I can usually tell when one is coming on, when minor incidents occur with increasing frequency. Finally, one invisibility episode happened with numerous witnesses and was so dramatic that no one could explain it away. I was staying at Claridges in London with my family. Claridges is renown for its service, but I could tell a major episode was coming on when I could get no service in any of the restaurants there. I won't bore you with the details. My family and I went to Waterloo Station from the hotel to take the Chunnel back to Paris. For those not familiar with the setup there, when you are going to take the Chunnel, you have to go through security similar to getting onto an airplane, or at least you did at that time. Not thinking, I walked through the metal detector without emptying my pockets. Not a beep, not a blip. I had at least a pound of Euro coins and various British coins in one pocket. In another pocket was a camera that is basically a metal brick. Just behind me was my mother-in-law, who set off the metal detector with her wedding ring and a small bracelet. I walked on, looking back at my family, all of whom were being disassembled by the security personnel. I walked back to other side of the metal detectors because I could see this was going to take a while. I walked through again out of curiosity. Nothing. So I walked on ahead of everyone else past the passport control booth, which is basically a glass booth with an official inside, flanked by two military types with machine guns. I walked by the booth not thinking about it. I stopped and looked back at everyone else. They were still being searched. I waved and walked back toward them, past the booth. Then I walked by the booth again since the porter carrying our luggage was beckoning to me; he apparently could see me. Finally, my family walked toward me past the passport control booth, thinking it didn't apply to them, of course. The two guys with the machine guns chased them down, yelling at them. I thought for a moment they were going to be tackled. They were literally led at gunpoint to the passport control official. Meanwhile I'm still walking back and forth in front of everyone. I was never asked for my passport and the two fellows with the machine guns never even glanced at me. So finally I was able to ask, "Now do you believe me?" It didn't end there. My sister-in-law had taken a picture of me, my wife and son on the grounds of the Versailles palace, on this same trip. After she got her film developed, she said to me, "Uh, I think you should see this picture." My wife and son looked perfectly normal in this picture, but there am I looking eerily faded and well, kind of transparent. I have to look at this picture every so often, just to make sure it's really as weird as I remember it. I've continued to have these Invisible Man problems off and on for years since then, but never with so many surprised witnesses. There is one place that this never happens to me, and I always look forward to going there. That place is New York City. Go figure. M. _______________________________________________ Join Excite! - http://www.excite.com The most personalized portal on the Web!
