With regard to excited electrons in non-s-shell orbitals, keep in mind the precession of the orbital around the atomic center. I presume it will cause a p-shell orbital to assume the shape of a torus. It's like a quickly spinning propellor -- imagine trying to get such a propellor to mesh with another, similar propellor.
With regard to rydberg levels in general, keep in mind the dipole blockade effect, in which one atom with an excited electron will prevent nearby atoms from being in a similar state. [1] Imagine rubidium atoms trapped in an optical trap. Several of them might be excited to rydberg levels, whose electrons extend out in exaggerated orbitals sufficiently far out to encompass other atoms nearby. These excited electrons keep the other atoms in the ground state. I have doubts about the rigor of research on purporting to demonstrate rydberg matter. Eric [1] http://www.cqed.org/spip.php?article95&lang=fr
