Have just spent a frustrating hour dealing with phone sales guy with Card
Services International trying to get a client set up with Authorizenet
online credit card verification. CSI is a reseller for Authorizenet, which
you can't contract for directly -- you can only buy it through companies
like CSI.
Total, absolute, fucking idiot pardon my french. Why corporations put such
morons in sales positions, I'll never know. He was obviously reading from a
card:
Me: "How long after you get the contract will it take to get the service
enacted."
Him: "Two weeks to send them the terminal, plus two days."
Me: "Well, obviously we're not going to be leasing a terminal since they
already have one. And you already know from talking to my client that
they're going to get rid of their terminal and start doing all their
verifications via their Web site. So how long will it take to get the
service enacted?"
Him: "Two weeks to send them the terminal, plus two days." (repeated ad
nauseaum til I finally gave up on getting an answer. I guess we'll just
keep testing it til it seems to be working,
Me: "How much are the monthly fees?"
Him: "$59.95 month plus yada yada for 48 months, then they own the program."
Me: "What program? I understood that all had to do was put an HTML patch on
the order form and it would link directly to the Authorizenet server"
(which is what the not-so-klewless tech support person at Digital Forest,
host provider for the site told me)
Him: "Well, you know, it's like a software program that we download to your
Web page."
Me: (Knowing full well you cannot download a program to a Web page and
having already been told by someone who has actually used this service that
there is NO program and besides there's no way in hell I'm gonna give this
idjit the password to my server): Well, what kind of a program is it? The
web site is running on a Mac server. Is it a Mac-compatible program -- or
PC or Unix?"
Him: "Well, it's not a software program. It's not like something on a
floppy disk. It's just some software that we download to your web site."
Me: "Software and program are the same thing. The words are
interchangeable. What exactly is this program?"
I never got a straight answer until I finally called the tech support line
at Authorizenet. When I told the tech support guy I was really confused
after a phone conversation with the sales dude at Card Services
International, he just burst into laughter! His basic answer was, "sign
the contract, ignore anything and everything the salesman says, then call
us when you need help."
I'm glad it's Friday.
Suz
Suzanne Stephens, Dave Stephens Design; Ashland, Oregon
541-552-1190, 541-552-1192 http://www.KickassDesign.com/
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