"Barack Obama bought a brand new swing set for his daughters, Malia and Sasha.
It has a slide and a rope ladder. It's great. It's much nicer than the one
George Bush used."
- Jimmy Fallon
--------------------
"You know the Obama kids? They got a swing set there on the White House lawn.
And here's the nice thing. This is what you like about Obama. He is a very
conscientious guy. Thinks of everything, because the swing set didn't cost the
taxpayers anything. They built the swing set out of old pieces of Dick Cheney's
guard tower."
- David Letterman
--------------------
Are Twitter Users "Twits"?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmclo/2009/tmclo090305.gif
--------------------
MIRACLES TAKE TIME
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/07/opinion/07herbert.html
Barack Obama has only been president for six weeks, but there is a surprising
amount of ire, anger, even outrage that he hasn't yet solved the problems of
the U.S. economy, that he hasn't saved us from the increasingly tragic
devastation wrought by the clownish ideas of right-wing conservatives and the
many long years of radical Republican misrule. ...
Mr. Obama is being hammered -- depending on the point of view of the critics --
for the continuing collapse of the stock market, for not moving fast enough to
revive the suicidal financial industry, for trying to stem the flood tide of
home foreclosures, for trying to bring health insurance coverage to some of the
millions of Americans who don't have any, for running up huge budget deficits
as he tries to fend off the worst economic emergency since World War II and for
not taking time out from all of the above to deal with -- get this -- earmarks.
...
In the midst of the craziness, conservatives are busy trying to blame this epic
economic catastrophe -- a conflagration of their own making -- on the new
president. Forget Ronald Reagan and George Herbert Walker Bush and George
Herbert Hoover Bush and the Heritage Foundation and the Club for Growth and
Phil Gramm and Newt Gingrich and all the rest. The right-wingers would have you
believe this is Obama's downturn. ...
Maybe the nuns in grammar school were right when they counseled that patience
is a virtue. The man has been president for six weeks.
--------------------
Juggling
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/cwjmo/2009/cwjmo090308.gif
--------------------
"By the way, ladies and gentlemen, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the
Republican Party. And I'm thinking, if I see any more of Rush Limbaugh, I'm
going to have to send my housekeeper out to buy me painkillers."
- David Letterman
--------------------
"Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican party. Apparently the
Republican party wants to resemble a horse's ass."
- Alex Kaseberg
--------------------
Are You Crazy?!?
http://thehill.com/images/stories/weyants/2009/March/cartoon0306.jpg
--------------------
"As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but
they'll probably go with a different body."
- David Letterman
--------------------
Being a Democrat means never having to say you're sorry.... to Rush Limbaugh.
--------------------
Try Again....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdow/2009/tmdow090306.gif
--------------------
"Rush Limbaugh has challenged President Obama to a debate. A White House
spokesman said the President has bigger things to worry about. I'm thinking,
Really? Bigger than Rush Limbaugh? Have you seen Rush lately?"
- Jay Leno
--------------------
I Wish I Knew....
http://cagle.com/working/090308/wolverton.jpg
--------------------
Why Doesn't Rush Run for President?
http://tinyurl.com/ajzqlk
When Rush Limbaugh explained to the Conservative Political Action Conference
last Saturday that he wants President Obama to fail for ideological reasons,
CNN gave old Rush the same treatment as a president or presidential candidate.
For minute after minute after minute, there he was, speaking live, as if his
predictable ranting constituted news. Perhaps I missed it, but I don't recall
any liberal talk show host or blogger getting that kind of treatment on the
network. So will someone please explain to me why so many on the right claim
that CNN is a "liberal" network? Is CNN chasing the Fox News crowd? ...
--------------------
Crossing The Delaware
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/jd/2009/jd090306.gif
--------------------
"A new poll from Rasmussen Reports reveals that 81 % of Republicans don't view
Rush Limbaugh as their leader. And today 81% of Republicans called Rush on his
show to apologize."
- Pedro Bartes
--------------------
The best that the Republicans can come up with is a drug addict -- with two
anal orifices -- spewing bile.
--------------------
Rush To Judgment
http://cagle.com/working/090308/matson.jpg
--------------------
"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother
when in doubt."
- President Woodrow Wilson
--------------------
Republican Hypocrisy on Earmarks? Ask Senators Cochran, Wicker, and Vitter
http://tinyurl.com/b4t2co
The self-righteousness among Republicans on the issue of government spending is
rank and overwhelming. The GOP is acting as if federal spending is a Democratic
monopoly.
So let's go to the videotape. Or, rather, the Congressional Record, where we
find the list of earmarks in the omnibus spending bill and discover that--wait
for it--three of the top five earmarking senators are Republicans.
Yes sir. The Taxpayers for Common Sense group has listed the senators by the
number of earmarks they introduced as individuals, and in collaboration with
other senators. In both categories, Republicans did quite well--especially
those southern rascals who, no doubt, will be on the stump two years from now
campaigning against Democratic spending.
Republican Sen. Thad Cochran of Mississippi tops the list, with $470 million in
earmarks for himself and his colleagues. Next up is Cochran's
seatmate--Republican Roger Wicker, hitting the scales at $390 million. Two
Democrats--Mary Landrieu of Louisiana and Tom Harkin of Iowa--come in at Nos. 3
and 4, before Republican David Vitter of Louisiana rounds out the top five. Of
the top 10, six are Republicans. ...
--------------------
Capitol Deli
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crsbe/2009/crsbe090306.gif
--------------------
"The Republican Party said it would donate Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardrobe to a
needy cause. That's nice, that's nice. They looked around. It turns out the
neediest cause is the Republican Party."
- Jimmy Fallon
--------------------
"Ken Starr was in the California Supreme Court on Thursday arguing on behalf of
Proposition 8 banning gay marriage. He already got Bill Clinton impeached for
heterosexual sex. It would appear that he's against all forms of fornication
except for legal fees."
- Argus Hamilton
--------------------
WAR ON THE RICH?
http://www.slate.com/id/2213029/
To hear conservatives tell it, you'd think mobs of shiftless welfare moms were
marauding through the streets of Greenwich and Palm Springs, lynching bankers
and hedge-fund managers, stringing up shopkeepers, and herding lawyers into
internment camps. President Obama and his budgeteers, they say, have declared
war on the rich. ...
. . there has been a near total absence of discussion of what higher rates
will mean in the real world. Say you're a CNBC anchor, or a Washington Post
columnist with a seat at the Council on Foreign Relations, or a dentist, and
you managed to cobble together $350,000 a year in income. You're doing quite
well. If you subtract deductions for state and property taxes, mortgage
interest and charitable deductions, and other deductions, the amount on which
tax rates are calculated might total $300,000. What would happen if the
marginal rate on the portion of your income above $250,000 were to rise from 33
percent to 36 percent? Under the old regime, you'd pay $16,500 in federal taxes
on that amount. Under the new one, you'd pay $18,000. The difference is $1,500
per year, or $4.10 per day. ...
--------------------
In Other Words....
http://cagle.com/working/090307/keefe.jpg
--------------------
"Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is going to get a "six-figure" sum to
write a book about the "dark side of politics." Obviously, whoever said "Crime
doesn't pay" didn't have a very good agent."
- Tim Hunter, wackyweek.com
--------------------
"Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has signed a six figure deal to write
a book. It turns out he will be getting paid almost as much as he was charging
for a Senate seat."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
If Only....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crske/2009/crske090306.gif
--------------------
"Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano assured the nation last week that
the U.S. is prepared for hurricanes and natural disasters. The secretary was
criticized across the board for ignoring the biggest threat to America.
Republicans were angry that she didn't mention terrorism and Democrats were
angry she didn't mention Limbaugh."
- Argus Hamilton
--------------------
Overtime
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--------------------
Terror-War Fallout Lingers Over Bush Lawyers
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/09/washington/09lawyers.html
When John C. Yoo, a former Justice Department lawyer, was selected by President
George W. Bush in May 2004 to join a government board charged with releasing
historical Nazi and Japanese war crimes records, trouble quickly followed.
The Abu Ghraib torture scandal was exploding, and fellow panelists learned that
Mr. Yoo had written secret legal opinions saying presidents have sweeping
wartime power to circumvent the Geneva Conventions. They protested that it was
absurd to name Mr. Yoo, who they believed might have sanctioned war crimes, to
a war crimes commission.
White House officials canceled the appointment, though it had already been
announced in a news release, and kept the episode quiet. "We saved them from
incredible embarrassment," said Thomas H. Baer, one of the dissenting panelists.
But for Mr. Yoo, a Berkeley law professor, the swift exit from the war crimes
board was only the beginning of his troubles. For more than four years, the
Justice Department ethics office has been investigating his work and that of a
few of his colleagues. A convicted terrorist has filed a lawsuit blaming Mr.
Yoo for abuses he says he endured. Law students have led protests, and the
Berkeley City Council even passed a resolution in December calling for Mr.
Yoo's prosecution for war crimes. ...
--------------------
"Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen who would
protect the rights and privileges of free people and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage."
- President Dwight D. Eisenhower
--------------------
Republican Governors....
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--------------------
Memo from the C.E.O.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/03/09/090309sh_shouts_marx
It is with deep regret that we inform you of certain cost-cutting measures that
will be taken in the coming days so that we can remain competitive But first
some good news. We are happy to report that Bring Your Child to Work Day has
been renamed Bring Your Child to Do Work Day. We hope you will contribute
unstintingly to the Gummy Bears Overtime Fund. ...
--------------------
Enhanced Mortgage Payments
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tt/2009/tt090309.gif
--------------------
"Statistics show that one in five mortgage borrowers are underwater on their
homes. The really bad news is that they are still in better financial shape
than the banks they borrowed from."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
When banks rob people, how come they get bailed out without first going to jail?
[Go to jail. Go directly to Jail. Do no pass GO. Do not collect 200 billion
dollars.]
--------------------
Yeah, What About.....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdwa/2009/tmdwa090305.gif
--------------------
"The latest statistics show that 48% of all subprime mortgage holders are
behind on payments or in foreclosure. Industry analysts were shocked. They had
no idea that many of those mortgage holders lasted this long."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
Irresponsible!!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/sc/2009/sc090306.gif
--------------------
"Do you know anything about the Dow Jones, ladies and gentlemen? The Dow Jones
average went down to 6,000. Do you know what that means? Neither do I, but it's
the first time in 12 years that the Dow has been the same as Rush Limbaugh's
cholesterol."
- David Letterman
--------------------
You Call This A Tip?!?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/jd/2009/jd090307.gif
--------------------
"The FDIC warned Thursday it hasn't enough money to cover insured deposits.
Real estate and stocks have tanked and now even savings are at risk. If you
blew all your money on sex, drugs and gambling you can hold your head up high
at the Thanksgiving table this year."
- Argus Hamilton
--------------------
Economic Bright Spot
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmth/2009/crmth090306.gif
--------------------
"The ten highest wage earners at Merrill Lynch were paid $209 Million in
bonuses last year. Apparently those bonuses were based on how much was left in
the company vault."
- Jim Barach
************************
Justifying Executive Pay
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/jp/2009/jp090305.gif
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