She's like a Timex.
Or Samsonite.
maxshenk <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Well, you've survived this chat so far, so I'd say you're pretty much
bulletproof.
--- In [email protected], "Ellen"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> well I've survived this long without any major health problems, so
I
> figure if public restrooms haven't killed me yet they probably
> won't. I think it is like not swimming after eating and all that.
> Epidemics were more common back then.
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "dvm8375"
> <muellerdana@> wrote:
> >
> > My grandmother instilled the FEAR OF THE PUBLIC TOILET GERM in me
> at
> > a very young age, and try as I might, I will never overcome it.
I
> > can't even force myself to sit on a toilet at work, which I know
is
> > very clean. However, what I find odd, is that I have no problem
> > sitting on a hotel toilet seat. Somehow that doesn't seem public
> to
> > me.
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], Diane Lochner
> > <dlochund@> wrote:
> > >
> > > A friend forwarded it to me...so I have no idea who wrote it or
> > what the original source was. I remember my grandmother, I was
> > about nine or ten, instructing me in proper public toilet
> behavior.
> > To this day, the very first thing I do is check to see if there
is
> > t.p. in the dispenser.
> > >
> > > Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: where did you get this from? I
> > personally was never instructed to use
> > > toilet seat covers and/or hover, so I haven't had the extent of
> > this
> > > experience, although lack of hook, lack of door lock, and lack
of
> > > toilet paper, as well as automatic flushers and automatic sinks
> are
> > > constant irritations. I always thought the toilet seat cover
> > business
> > > was ridiculous--I don't think the part of your body that is
> > actually
> > > in contact with the toilet seat is the part with the germs.
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In [email protected], Diane Lochner
> > > <dlochund@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Peeing !
> > > > Women's Trip to the Restroom
> > > > Is this true? I think it's just a cover up for why u all take
so
> > > long! New & Revised 6 P's:
> > > > My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a
> > little
> > > > girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet
> > paper
> > > and
> > > > wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet
paper
> > to
> > > cover
> > > > the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a
public
> > > toilet
> > > > seat.
> > > > Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of
> > balancing over
> > > > the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting
any
> > of your
> > > > flesh make contact with the toilet seat.
> > > > By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go
> home
> > to
> > > > change my clothes. That was a long time ago. Even now, in my
> > more
> > > > "mature years, The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to
> > > > maintain, especially when one's bladder is full.
> > > > When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find
a
> > line of
> > > > women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on
Nelly's
> > > > underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all
the
> > other
> > > > ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling
politely.
> > > > You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors.
Every
> > one is
> > > > occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly
> knocking
> > down
> > > > the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door
won't
> > > latch. It
> > > > doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat
covers"
> > > > (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.
You
> > would
> > > > hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there
> > isn't
> > > - so
> > > > you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (Mom
would
> > turn
> > > over
> > > > in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your
> pants,
> > and
> > > > assume "The Stance."
> > > > Ahhhh, relief. More relief. But then your thighs begin to
> shake.
> > You'd
> > > > love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe
> > the seat
> > > > or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your
> > thighs
> > > > experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter
> > > scale. To
> > > > take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for
what
> > you
> > > > discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your
mind,
> > you can
> > > > hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you would have
> tried
> > to
> > > > clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet
> paper!"
> > Your
> > > > thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew
> > your nose
> > > > on yesterday -the one that's still in your purse. That would
> > have to
> > > do.
> > > > You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still
> smaller
> > than
> > > > your thumbnail.
> > > > Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch
doesn't
> > work.
> > > The
> > > > door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in
> front
> > of
> > > your
> > > > chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the
tank
> > of the
> > > > toilet.
> > > > "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping
> > your
> > > > precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding
down,
> > directly
> > > > onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up, knowing all too
> > well that
> > > > it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every
> > imaginable
> > > > germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never
laid
> > down
> > > > toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken
> > time to
> > > > try.
> > > > You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if
> > she knew,
> > > > because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a
> > public
> > > > toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW
what
> > kind of
> > > > diseases you could get."
> > > > By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet
is
> > so
> > > > confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin
to
> a
> > > > fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force
> > that you
> > > > grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being
dragged
> > off to
> > > > China. At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the
> splashing
> > > water.
> > > > You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you
found
> > in your
> > > > pocket, and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You
> > can't
> > > > figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic
> > sensors, so
> > > you
> > > > wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past
a
> > line
> > > of
> > > > women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no
longer
> > > able to
> > > > smile politely.
> > > > One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that
you
> > are
> > > > trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the
> > > Mississippi
> > > > River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the
paper
> > from
> > > your
> > > > shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here,
you
> > just
> > > > might need this."
> > > > As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used
> and
> > > exited
> > > > the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while
> > waiting for
> > > > you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is
your
> > purse
> > > > hanging around your neck?"
> > > > This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to
deal
> > with a
> > > > public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It
> > finally
> > > > explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also
> > answers
> > > > their other commonly asked question about why women go to the
> > restroom
> > > > in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the door, hold
your
> > purse
> > > and
> > > > hand you Kleenex under the door.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > ---------------------------------
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> > Phone
> > > call rates.
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> > > 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.
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> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ---------------------------------
> > > YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> > >
> > >
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> > >
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> > > [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > >
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> > Service.
> > >
> > >
> > > ---------------------------------
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ---------------------------------
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> > with Voice.
> > >
> >
>
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