miles away that I wouldn't recognize if I tripped over them don't
affect me much, no.
--- In [email protected], "maxshenk"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> Well, you've survived this chat so far, so I'd say you're pretty
much
> bulletproof.
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "Ellen"
> <ellengoodman6@> wrote:
> >
> > well I've survived this long without any major health problems,
so
> I
> > figure if public restrooms haven't killed me yet they probably
> > won't. I think it is like not swimming after eating and all
that.
> > Epidemics were more common back then.
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], "dvm8375"
> > <muellerdana@> wrote:
> > >
> > > My grandmother instilled the FEAR OF THE PUBLIC TOILET GERM in
me
> > at
> > > a very young age, and try as I might, I will never overcome
it.
> I
> > > can't even force myself to sit on a toilet at work, which I
know
> is
> > > very clean. However, what I find odd, is that I have no
problem
> > > sitting on a hotel toilet seat. Somehow that doesn't seem
public
> > to
> > > me.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In [email protected], Diane Lochner
> > > <dlochund@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > A friend forwarded it to me...so I have no idea who wrote it
or
> > > what the original source was. I remember my grandmother, I was
> > > about nine or ten, instructing me in proper public toilet
> > behavior.
> > > To this day, the very first thing I do is check to see if there
> is
> > > t.p. in the dispenser.
> > > >
> > > > Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: where did you get this from?
I
> > > personally was never instructed to use
> > > > toilet seat covers and/or hover, so I haven't had the extent
of
> > > this
> > > > experience, although lack of hook, lack of door lock, and
lack
> of
> > > > toilet paper, as well as automatic flushers and automatic
sinks
> > are
> > > > constant irritations. I always thought the toilet seat cover
> > > business
> > > > was ridiculous--I don't think the part of your body that is
> > > actually
> > > > in contact with the toilet seat is the part with the germs.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --- In [email protected], Diane Lochner
> > > > <dlochund@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Peeing !
> > > > > Women's Trip to the Restroom
> > > > > Is this true? I think it's just a cover up for why u all
take
> so
> > > > long! New & Revised 6 P's:
> > > > > My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was
a
> > > little
> > > > > girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up
toilet
> > > paper
> > > > and
> > > > > wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet
> paper
> > > to
> > > > cover
> > > > > the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a
> public
> > > > toilet
> > > > > seat.
> > > > > Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of
> > > balancing over
> > > > > the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting
> any
> > > of your
> > > > > flesh make contact with the toilet seat.
> > > > > By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go
> > home
> > > to
> > > > > change my clothes. That was a long time ago. Even now, in
my
> > > more
> > > > > "mature years, The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to
> > > > > maintain, especially when one's bladder is full.
> > > > > When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually
find
> a
> > > line of
> > > > > women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on
> Nelly's
> > > > > underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all
> the
> > > other
> > > > > ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling
> politely.
> > > > > You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors.
> Every
> > > one is
> > > > > occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly
> > knocking
> > > down
> > > > > the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door
> won't
> > > > latch. It
> > > > > doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat
> covers"
> > > > > (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.
> You
> > > would
> > > > > hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but
there
> > > isn't
> > > > - so
> > > > > you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (Mom
> would
> > > turn
> > > > over
> > > > > in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your
> > pants,
> > > and
> > > > > assume "The Stance."
> > > > > Ahhhh, relief. More relief. But then your thighs begin to
> > shake.
> > > You'd
> > > > > love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to
wipe
> > > the seat
> > > > > or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your
> > > thighs
> > > > > experience a quake that would register an eight on the
Richter
> > > > scale. To
> > > > > take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for
> what
> > > you
> > > > > discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your
> mind,
> > > you can
> > > > > hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you would have
> > tried
> > > to
> > > > > clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet
> > paper!"
> > > Your
> > > > > thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you
blew
> > > your nose
> > > > > on yesterday -the one that's still in your purse. That
would
> > > have to
> > > > do.
> > > > > You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still
> > smaller
> > > than
> > > > > your thumbnail.
> > > > > Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch
> doesn't
> > > work.
> > > > The
> > > > > door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in
> > front
> > > of
> > > > your
> > > > > chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the
> tank
> > > of the
> > > > > toilet.
> > > > > "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping
> > > your
> > > > > precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding
> down,
> > > directly
> > > > > onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up, knowing all
too
> > > well that
> > > > > it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every
> > > imaginable
> > > > > germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never
> laid
> > > down
> > > > > toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had
taken
> > > time to
> > > > > try.
> > > > > You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you
if
> > > she knew,
> > > > > because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a
> > > public
> > > > > toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW
> what
> > > kind of
> > > > > diseases you could get."
> > > > > By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the
toilet
> is
> > > so
> > > > > confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin
> to
> > a
> > > > > fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such
force
> > > that you
> > > > > grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being
> dragged
> > > off to
> > > > > China. At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the
> > splashing
> > > > water.
> > > > > You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you
> found
> > > in your
> > > > > pocket, and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You
> > > can't
> > > > > figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic
> > > sensors, so
> > > > you
> > > > > wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk
past
> a
> > > line
> > > > of
> > > > > women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no
> longer
> > > > able to
> > > > > smile politely.
> > > > > One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that
> you
> > > are
> > > > > trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the
> > > > Mississippi
> > > > > River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the
> paper
> > > from
> > > > your
> > > > > shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here,
> you
> > > just
> > > > > might need this."
> > > > > As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered,
used
> > and
> > > > exited
> > > > > the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while
> > > waiting for
> > > > > you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is
> your
> > > purse
> > > > > hanging around your neck?"
> > > > > This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to
> deal
> > > with a
> > > > > public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It
> > > finally
> > > > > explains to the men what really does take us so long. It
also
> > > answers
> > > > > their other commonly asked question about why women go to
the
> > > restroom
> > > > > in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the door, hold
> your
> > > purse
> > > > and
> > > > > hand you Kleenex under the door.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > ---------------------------------
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to-
> > > Phone
> > > > call rates.
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> > > (and
> > > > 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > ---------------------------------
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> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >
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