Re: [wc] Re: Gotta love Carolyn!

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 07:50:33 -0700

Yes.. they avoided speaking. The arraignments were dictated by the court (Mon, Wed, Friday and Sat till 8pm with Dad the rest with mom). Dad would beep his horn and I would leave. The fighting continued practically till mom died but the coffee cup was before the divorce (It is family lore... I didn't see it).
It sounds so much worse than it really was.... I think kids who lose a parent due to divorce are worse off than I was. I was lucky to have two parents who loved me.
Take Care,
Daria
 
On 8/22/06, Ellen <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

they divorced when you were 5 and THEN they stopped speaking? Well I
guess that makes more sense than not speaking while you're still
married, but still--you would think it you were divorced there would
be enough separation that you could speak just to make arrangements
for the kids, etc. Was the fighting and the coffee cup fights before
or after the divorce?



--- In [email protected], "Daria Akers"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> By 7th grade my parents were divorced (They divorced when I was
5)... It was
> better when they weren't actually speaking. It meant that they
weren't
> fighting. Or chucking things at each other... My mom once threw a
coffee cup
> at my dad and broke the lamp on the end table AT THE OTHER END OF
THE COUCH.
> It was a messing divorce and custody disputes continues practically
till mom
> died.
> I know I've had a lot of bad things happen in my life but I've had
some
> GREAT moments. My mom was a hoot and she really touched a lot of
people's
> lives. My dad was an ass for a really long time but has sort of
come around.
> It doesn't help that he has Asperger's so his social skills suck
and he is
> clueless when he is hurting people. But he would drop anything and
come help
> me if I needed it (I would call him when getting the in ambulance
to the
> hospital with Cassie and he would be on the road up from Hampton in
5
> minutes).
> You hit the nail on the head.... If I don't laugh I would be crying
and that
> just isn't as fun. The time we have is short...I want to live it
the best
> that I can.
> Take Care,
> Daria
>
> On 8/22/06, Ellen <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> >
> > oh you poor thing! Your parents stopped speaking (got divorced
> > eventually I'm guessing?) then your mom committed suicide when she
> > got ovarian cancer, then you lost a child? Wow that's horrible.
It's
> > amazing you've found the strength to get through all that and
keep a
> > sense of humor too. Or maybe you have to. I really admire your
> > courage.
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected] <weingartenchatters%
40yahoogroups.com>,
> > "Daria Akers"
> > <daria.akers@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Yeah my mom and dad weren't talking by that point and they had
run
> > out of
> > > money so private school wasn't an option any more so she just
> > taught me the
> > > slang and sent me back the next day.
> > > :)
> > > Daria
> > >
> > >
> > > On 8/22/06, dvm8375 <muellerdana@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > I also switched to public school in the 7th grade, and when I
> > came
> > > > home on the first day and asked my mom, "what's a blow job?,"
she
> > > > turned to my dad and screamed, "I told you we should keep
them in
> > > > private school!!"
> > > >
> > > > --- In [email protected]<weingartenchatters%
40yahoogroups.com>
> > <weingartenchatters%
> >
> > 40yahoogroups.com>,
> > > > "Daria Akers"
> > > >
> > > > <daria.akers@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > I vividly remember my mom turning to me and my boyfriend
while
> > we
> > > > were
> > > > > sitting on the couch watching TV and mom said "Use one of
these
> > > > (she make
> > > > > the ok sign) and it ain't a quarter". I thought I was going
to
> > > > DIE. She
> > > > > didn't teach me enough but I remember she had to sit me down
> > after
> > > > I came
> > > > > home from my first week in public school crying and explain
all
> > of
> > > > the
> > > > > sexual slang. I was in 7th grade. It's so odd when your mom
> > knows
> > > > what a
> > > > > pearl necklace is and you don't.
> > > > >
> > > > > On 8/18/06, Hannah Robinson <hjrobinson@> wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Actually, to be fair to my mom, that line requires a
smoother
> > > > delivery
> > > > > > than can be expressed in e-mail. It's more of a, "Please
don't
> > > > make me a
> > > > > > grandmother"
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Of course, the irony being that she's now in her fifties
and
> > > > she's whining
> > > > > > because she has four grown kids and no grandchildren.
Clearly
> > > > revenge is a
> > > > > > dish best served really really late.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > On 8/18/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Well maybe NO sex talk is better than that. My parents
> > > > didn't tell
> > > > > > > me not to have sex, they didn't tell me to be careful,
they
> > > > didn't
> > > > > > > tell me not to get pregnant, they didn't tell me to tell
> > them
> > > > if I
> > > > > > > did, how to prevent it, NOTHING. It was as though the
> > concept
> > > > didn't
> > > > > > > exist. Made me wonder whether it in fact did for them,
then
> > I
> > > > > > > remembered that my brother and I somehow managed to
make it
> > on
> > > > to the
> > > > > > > scene, so they must have been aware of the concept.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > So how DO you make certain? Give them a miserable
> > childhood? Or
> > > > > > > will that make them more likely as they look for an
escape
> > > > from the
> > > > > > > misery?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > --- In
> > [email protected] <weingartenchatters%
40yahoogroups.com>
> > <weingartenchatters%
> > 40yahoogroups.com>
> > > > <weingartenchatters%
> > > > 40yahoogroups.com>,
> > > >
> > > > > > > "Hannah Robinson"
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > <hjrobinson@> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I believe that sex-ed in my family can be summed up as
> > such:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "If you ever get pregnant, I'll kill you. Then I'll
raise
> > > > the baby
> > > > > > > while
> > > > > > > > you go to college."
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I had a pretty miserable adolescence (early and
somewhat
> > > > extreme
> > > > > > > > development, parental divorce) at an all-girls
school, and
> > > > then
> > > > > > > proceeded to
> > > > > > > > go that bastion of Social Normativity, the University
of
> > > > Chicago,
> > > > > > > so I know
> > > > > > > > exactly how to make certain my kids will never have
> > teenage
> > > > sex.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > On 8/18/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > FWIW, my parents NEVER talked to me about sex. To
this
> > day.
> > > > > > > I'm 39.
> > > > > > > > > Therefore, I didn't talk to them about it either.
There
> > > > was no
> > > > > > > one I
> > > > > > > > > was interested in in high school, so it wasn't
really an
> > > > issue
> > > > > > > until
> > > > > > > > > college when I was no longer living in my parents'
> > house,
> > > > but
> > > > > > > still.
> > > > > > > > > I guess they figured we got whatever needed in sex
ed
> > > > class, the
> > > > > > > last
> > > > > > > > > of which I think was maybe 8th grade? Maybe if I did
> > have a
> > > > > > > > > boyfriend it would have come up, but my brother had
a
> > > > girlfriend,
> > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > think, and I still don't think it came up, at least
not
> > in
> > > > my
> > > > > > > > > presence and not that he told me about. I decided
> > > > independently
> > > > > > > that
> > > > > > > > > I didn't want to do it just to say I had done it if
I
> > > > wasn't in a
> > > > > > > > > relationship, and I really didn't like my high
school
> > > > classmates
> > > > > > > > > much, so it wasn't an issue. Maybe my parents were
more
> > > > concerned
> > > > > > > > > with my lack of friends than the possibility of
having
> > too-
> > > > close
> > > > > > > > > friends. Who knows?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > --- In
> > > > [email protected]<weingartenchatters%
40yahoogroups.com><weingartenchatters%
> > 40yahoogroups.com>
> > > > <weingartenchatters%
> > > > 40yahoogroups.com>
> > > > > > > <weingartenchatters%
> > > > > > > 40yahoogroups.com>,
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > "Daria Akers"
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > <daria.akers@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think that a huge part of having a daughter who
> > > > respects
> > > > > > > herself
> > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > doesn't sleep around is having a father who is in
her
> > > > life and
> > > > > > > > > loves her. My
> > > > > > > > > > father's love was not unconditional and when I
> > couldn't
> > > > get it I
> > > > > > > > > wanted that
> > > > > > > > > > love and acceptance from any guy. The one thing I
had
> > > > that they
> > > > > > > > > wanted was,
> > > > > > > > > > well, we all know right. In the big picture I got
> > > > lucky... I
> > > > > > > didn't
> > > > > > > > > get HIV,
> > > > > > > > > > I didn't get pregnant, I didn't get hepititus or
> > general
> > > > > > > herpies...
> > > > > > > > > I did
> > > > > > > > > > however get an STD and am HPV +. I have had
> > cryosurgery
> > > > to
> > > > > > > remove
> > > > > > > > > > precancerous cells from my cervix (Some places
are not
> > > > meant to
> > > > > > > be
> > > > > > > > > frozen!!)
> > > > > > > > > > all because of bad decisions as a teenager. So I
will
> > > > talk with
> > > > > > > my
> > > > > > > > > daughter
> > > > > > > > > > openly about this... I am NOT again premarital
sex...
> > I
> > > > am
> > > > > > > against
> > > > > > > > > > unprotected sex. I'm also huge into getting
yourself
> > off
> > > > but
> > > > > > > that's
> > > > > > > > > another
> > > > > > > > > > story.
> > > > > > > > > > Also my church has an amzing sex ed program that
my
> > > > daughter
> > > > > > > will
> > > > > > > > > go to...
> > > > > > > > > > http://www.uua.org/owl/
> > > > > > > > > > Just my 2 cents.
> > > > > > > > > > Daria
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
>


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