Thanks!  That's a great offer, but we're covered.  We've ordered a lot of stuff 
from Whole Foods, and my aunt is going to handle the turkey (which means she 
will be even less bitter than usual and we will eat at 9:45 at night).  I 
really wanted to convince her to skip cooking entirely to minimize the stress, 
and she only agreed because the fried turkey sounded so interesting.  Now she's 
doing one from scratch instead.  I'm really most worried about keeping the day 
as short as possible.  Sigh.  At least there will be pre-prepared green bean 
casserole.  And, of course, pie.

Ray Bradley <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: If you need, I have a deep-frier and 
have made several deep-fried 
turkeys. I'll be glad to coordinate with you if you'd like on for 
Thanksgiving, Eleanor.

- Ray


--- In [email protected], Eleanor Keyser 
 wrote:
>
> My family is lazy and loves fried Turkey.  So we ordered a Cajun 
Fried Turkey dinner from Eatzi's for Thanksgiving.  A few days ago 
they call us, polite and efficient, to confirm the order and let us 
know the delivery fee.
> 
> Yesterday I came home to a voicemail.  It was Elliot, from 
Eatzi's.  Elliot wanted to let us know that Eatzi's would be unable 
to fulfill our Thanksgiving order as the store was closing it's doors 
and going out of business as of TOMORROW (that would be today now).  
Of course I immediately thought "Buh?  WTF dude?  Are you some crazy 
ex-employee looking for payback?"  I call Eatzi's.  
> 
> No answer.  
> 
> I click the website.  
> 
> All links off the homepage had been removed.  
> 
> Finally I get through to an Eatzi's manager who tells me the 
employees were just told about this that morning.  Apparently, the 
Eatzi's chain executives went all 99.1 HFS on their asses.  All but 
one Eatzi's across the country were closed, and the corporate office 
did not return press calls.  WTF EATZI'S?  W T F?!?!?!?  YOU WANNA 
CANCEL CHRISTMAS NEXT????
> 
> You all should know that I loathe Thanksgiving more than I loathe 
all of the other loathsome days of my life combined.  Every single 
one is like having Martha Stewart, on crack, use my skin as the 
surface of her latest needlepoint sampler. And now I cannot even 
drown my sorrows in fried Cajun Turkey.  I fucking hate you Eatzi's.  
I really, really do.
> 
> PS.  I have a feeling this Thanksgiving may be the worst one since 
the first post-divorce nuclear melt down, which played a little 
something like this:  Act I:  Five hour car ride from Mom's to 
Dad's.  Act II:  Dad throws frozen turkey into the street at Mom, who 
burns rubber back to her lonely singleton Thanksgiving.  The turkey 
skids into the gutter where it sits moldering for days.  (I never did 
find out how long it sat there.)  Act III:  Thanksgiving at the local 
Jack in the Box--but not in the warm, posh inside of 
the "restaurant," oh no.  It was drive-through for us.  They get 
awfully snobby about grown men crying and chain smoking inside of 
those places.  Bloody righteous prats.
> 
> Oh, by the way, the second worst Thanksgiving involved Tofurkey, 
and that's all you need to know about that one.
> 
>  
> ---------------------------------
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