<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> You receive this E-zine because 1) you asked to be updated from The Weird Site web site, 2) you expressly requested to be subscribed, or 3) you or anyone else (friend/enemy) has signed you up. Unsubscribe instructions are below. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> WEIRD SIDE E-ZINE Issue #56 <><><><><><><><><><> EDITORS NOTE <><><><><><><><><><> Hello, Welcome again to all our new and "old" subscribers. Ok, let's start with the good news! I have started another contest that will be active for as long as this newsletter exists. Yes, from this week on, you can win a LIFE LONG and FREE Membership to the "Secret Weird Site Members Club". How can you participate? Well, it's dead simple. All you need to do is forward this newsletter to your friends, ask them to subscribe, send me a CC (Carbon Copy) of your email forward and you will be automatically entered in the contest. Yes, that's all! I will announce the winner in next issue, so go hit that forward button, and spread the word -you may be the first winner of the Life Long Club Membership! More details at: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/contest.htm ">AOL Click here</a> Thanks for being here again! Enjoy the read! Dirk Dupon, your editor <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">AOL Click here</a> =====+++++=====+++++=====+++++=====+++++ WHAT'S NEW in the "Secret Weird Site Members Club": - Observations of an unimportant man -"I am predominantly an unimportant man, and these are my observations..." - Forceed Calista Flockhart -A game for those who don't agree with "thinner is better!" - Life on the Beat -An awesome police page. Find out what police officers really think. Contains photo's from real cases. - 101 Cop and Law Jokes -The best on the Internet - The Citizens Self-Arrest Form -An easy form to report crime... - The best beer drinking stories -You’re just a click away from other beer pals. - The Web of Lies -How much of what you read can you trust? Want to have access to all this exciting info? Sign up NOW: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/members.htm ">AOL Click here</a> =====+++++=====+++++=====+++++=====+++++ Please give us a vote at: <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?514.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> =====+++++=====+++++=====+++++=====+++++ To read this issue of Weird Side E-zine on line, click here: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/archive.htm ">AOL Link</a> =====+++++=====+++++=====+++++=====+++++ INDEX => Sponsor ad => New sites => Bits and bytes => Weird News => Drunken Quote => Software Recommendation => Funny Autoresponder => User Tip => Free stuff => Subscribe/Unsubscribe information ------------------------------------------------------------ SPONSOR AD (please check our sponsors) ------------------------------------------------------------ MULTIMEDIA HUMOR EMAG Edited by a former professional Stand up Comedian, AVHumor is a twice weekly completely free hilarious EZine, of Audio and Visual multimedia humor, such as cartoons, photos, movies, audio clips and flash files. It is the funniest PG & R rated Multimedia HTML or Text EZine on the net. You must be 18 or over to subscribe. Go to: http://www.avhumor.com/newav/subscribe.asp?rsid=1473 or Mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?Subject=Subscribed_From_1473 ------------------------------------------------------------ NEW SITES ------------------------------------------------------------ * Beneath Los Angeles People come to L.A. from all over. The only folks who were born here will tell you it's not the same as it used to be, and they're leaving. In L.A. everybody's always coming or going. Except the dead. They're the only permanent residents here. <a href=" http://www.beneathlosangeles.com/cgi/page.cgi ">AOL Click here</a> * Look A Likes It's amazing how many people look like famous people. Here you can check a fake Bruce Willis, Madonna, Lady Di, etc... <a href=" http://www.lookalikes-usa.com ">AOL Click here</a> * Bus Plunge Buses are supposed to stay on the road, but this web site keeps track of those that don't. <a href=" http://users.lmi.net/tcs55 ">AOL Click here</a> * Time Line of Doom Will Doomsday be the apocalyptic Battle of Armageddon, a nuclear war, or a random act of the Fates? <a href=" http://home.att.net/~armageddon_watch/armagedon.html ">AOL Click here</a> Know another weird site that would fit here? Submit it at: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/Feedback.html ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ BITS AND BYTES... to make PC-life more fun and easy! ------------------------------------------------------------ Windows Trouble? This site will take care of your Windows problem. Learn more about the Windows Operating System. You can find hundreds of pages with specific error messages and a link to cause & solution, or read articles to refine your troubleshooting skills. Browse this site and you will find your way around! <a href=" http://www.windowstrouble.com ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ WEIRD NEWS ------------------------------------------------------------- Adison, Wisconsin. A man wanted to see his own funeral, and to make sure it was fun, he threw it himself. The 89-year-old one marched ahead of his coffin and 6 pallbearers during a mock funeral procession that he called his contribution to friends, relatives and Dixieland jazz. He invited hundreds of people to the city's convention center, saying they no longer need to have a funeral when he really dies. A 20 year girl in Richmond stabbed her boyfriend because he brought her a ham, egg and cheese bagel and coffee instead of the 2 sausage McMuffins and orange juice that she wanted. A witness says the boyfriend usually got the order wrong, and his girlfriend warned him there'd be trouble this time around if he screwed up. (Contra Costa Times) Cecil Collins, a former Miami Dolphins player, has been jailed for 15 years for breaking into a woman's home and watching her sleep. Cecil was given the maximum sentence in court because of an earlier conviction for a similar offence. Ron and Tina Nolte awoke to find Cecil running back in their bedroom. Collins was convicted of burglary. He claimed Tina Nolte and he were lovers. When arrested, Collins told police he only wanted to watch Tina as she slept. The Dolphins released him two months after the arrest. Florida shock-job Bubba the Love Sponge, his producer and 2 listeners have been charged with the killing of a wild boar in the radio station parking lot last month. A cop says: "Of course (wild boars) are a nuisance in some parts of Florida, but someone should not be allowed to kill them, or any animal, for entertainment purposes." The Love Sponge complains: "They've made this the largest dog-and-pony show ever. It's really sad. I may have done something distasteful, but I certainly didn't do anything illegal. I am so ready to leave this town." (St. Petersburg Times) More weird and off beat news and articles at: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/weirdnews.htm ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ DRUNKEN QUOTE ------------------------------------------------------------ "You know you're a Drunken Bastard when your Family Tree is firmly planted in the front lawn of the Betty Ford Clinic." ------------------------------------------------------------ FAMOUS QUOTES ------------------------------------------------------------ "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.'" - Tommy Cooper "Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective." - P. J. O'Rourke "I'd probably like my doctor a bit more if he wouldn't walk around humming 'Another One Bites the Dust' all the time." - Kristy Baxter ------------------------------------------------------------ AD SWAP -Please have a look at these fine E-zines ------------------------------------------------------------ Are you bored of the same old joke lists? I was, until I found Awesome Jokes...So I bought it. We have raised the bar significantly in the joke arena, and only bring you the absolute best the net has to offer. Just enough to start your day off right and not too much so that you draw a blank when telling it to your friends. You must be 18 or over to subscribe. Mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=Subscribe_AW_WERD ------------------------------------------------------- GET OUR FUNNY AUTORESPONDER ------------------------------------------------------- This weeks autoresponder contains "REAL MEDICAL QUOTES", lifted from the medical records of a general hospital in a large metropolitan area... To receive them, just click the link below: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ SOFTWARE RECOMMENDATION ------------------------------------------------------------ EasyCleaner Find duplicate files, clean out unwanted and old registry entries, unnecessary files, your start menu, and see which folders on your computer take up the most room. Handy stuff! <a href=" http://www.saunalahti.fi/tonihele/ecleane.htm ">AOL Click here</a> --------------- Another tip from AAA-Software E-zine. Get the latest share- and freeware tips once a month, and you'll never make a trip to the software shop again! Join here: <a href=" http://www.aaasoftware-ezine.com ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ USER TIP ------------------------------------------------------------ Are you having problems defragmenting your computer's hard drive? Do programs keep interrupting the process, making the defrag process start over and over and over again? Be sure you have closed all the stuff that's running behind the scenes. Using the three fingered salute, press Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. The easiest way to do this is use your left hand for the Ctrl and Alt keys, and poke the Delete key with a finger on your right hand. A pencil or pen or letter opener works equally as well. When you do this, you'll see the Close Program dialog box. Individually select programs to close by clicking to highlight, then click End Task. Don't click the Shut Down button unless you want to terminate your computing experience. Close all programs except Explorer and SysTray, then defrag. If you continue to have problems, you may need the services of the Power Defragmenter from the following site: <a href=" http://www.powerdefrag.com ">AOL Click here</a> --------------- The Mysteries and Magic of your PC and the Internet, explained step by step, in Plain English. There are so many Wonderful things you can do with your computer, and we will show you, Newbie or Expert, how. <a href=" http://newbieclub.com/home/sidder ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ Have you seen our newest "Weird Picture of the Week"? <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/weirdpic.htm ">AOL Click here</a> Or the "Weird Toon of the Week"?: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/weirdbyte.htm ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ FREE STUFF ------------------------------------------------------------ XXXxxxXXXxxx LAUGHMEISTER'S VICE xxxXXXxxxXXX Laughmeister's Vice is a twice weekly newsletter filled with wild true stories and jaw-dropping tales of debauchery and deviance. >From the occasional drunken weekend to hopelessly hedonistic lifestyles, we take you on a wild ride of true tales from our readers. Yes, in answer to your question, there will be many tales of strange sex stories. You must be 18+ to Join. Mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=Subscribe_VC_WERD ------------------------------------------------------------ Want your ad to be seen by 12.800 readers? All info: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/ads.htm ">AOL Click here</a> ------------------------------------------------------------ To subscribe: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Of course I pray on my bare knees that you don't :-) Browse our Online Archive: <a href=" http://www.theweirdsite.com/archive.htm ">AOL Click here</a> Note: If this message was forwarded to you, then please do yourself (and me) a favor by subscribing. It's easy and FREE! Send an email to: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] or visit our web site: http://www.theweirdsite.com Thank you for reading this! We will be with you again on 10 April 2001. If you want us of course :-) © Copyright 2001 Dirk Dupon. All Rights Reserved. _______________________________________ Do you enjoy this E-zine? Want to read more? I'd like to invite you to get more FREE Ezines on ANY subject known for FREE! Visit us now and every Ezine will be a GREAT one. Just click here: http://www.funezines.com/index.cgi?referrer=sidder ==^================================================================ EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?b1djpt.b1GRqS Or send an email To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] This email was sent to: archive@jab.org T O P I C A -- Learn More. Surf Less. Newsletters, Tips and Discussions on Topics You Choose. http://www.topica.com/partner/tag01 ==^================================================================