This is absolutely brilliant; I have no idea of the circumstances it was
written within/under, but pain often brings the strongest work (I've felt
that for example re: Bernadette Mayer and for that matter Paul Chamberland
- if you remember him at all - for a long time). Anti-colonialist, anti-
war writings, writings of the oppressed - what is it that they carry, that
speaks - not only in terms of psychology and empathy, but also the
language itself, urgency?
- Alan, musing
On Thu, 21 Sep 2006, Sheila Murphy wrote:
Big full-of-the-love heart b(ull)rushes up against the bully heart and then
what?
Coaches on the side past, present and to come exclaim beatitudes on steroids,
trying to get a rise, it's called, out of the hurt heart.
"Tell her to _____ (let's call it "collapse") herself."
"Tell her to off herself."
"Tell her she couldn't become interesting if she had every morself of her routine
body replaced."
"Tell her she will always be a drudge machine nobody loves."
Big full-of-the-hurt heart disappoints the coaches
and drowns pills for years instead.
Big full-of-fatigue heart turns drip-dry with sadness in the sun.
Big full-of-admiration heart seeks to age kindly without kiss thirst,
while out on the the surrounding lawn it always rains sans prompt,
and roller-coaster thought continues making marks on the experiential sky.
Big full-of-self-infliced-hurt heart fevers into sleep.
Big full-of-the-insanity-clause heart decides it's never easy not to die,
Having once died, and come back as a saint.
Big full-of-the-acclaimed heart offers crisis as proof of breath.
Big full heart finds a light to watch and watches.
Big heart tries to self sustain where there are other hearts.
Big heart pieces together versions of the recent history as if to make it
early.
Big heart ceases to be large enough, as as to wedge into the tiny size allowed
by its untenable surroundings.
sheila e. murphy
blog at http://nikuko.blogspot.com - for URLs, DVDs, CDs, books/etc. see
http://www.asondheim.org/advert.txt - contact [EMAIL PROTECTED], -
general directory of work: http://www.asondheim.org
Trace at: http://tracearchive.ntu.ac.uk - search "Alan Sondheim"
http://clc.as.wvu.edu:8080/clc/Members/sondheim
