My mother is getting very frail. She has back problems. She does not
want to go to the doctor. She rarely follows any advice. If I pester
her enough, I may get some response in terms of her seeing a doctor.
However, I honestly do not want to put the energy into her and her
problems any more. She is like an energy vampire. I love her, but I
get so much more positive from spending the same time and energy with
my daughter or doing something else.
I love my mother, but I do not think she should expect me to beg her
to see her doctor. I also do not think that she should put the blame
on others for her decisions not to go to the doctor. It is hard to
explain, but basically it all comes back to me, and I am tired of it.
In the end, she does whatever she wants regardless of how much anyone
pleads with her to do the right thing. She seems to enjoy having the
power to ignore medical opinions and endanger her health.
I love her, but I am tired of her bullshit. I feel sad that I do not
care more. I don't know. I know I will miss her when she dies. She
could have done so much more to improve her health and to stay alive.
She did not want to, and that makes me feel sad.
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