*bows to all*
I wasn't going to comment on this thread, but after reading DP's posts on this, 
i  decided to share an experience i am having right now..
To begin, I was struck when you  wrote that what really bothers you is that 
people attack you about  what the "truth" is when it comes to religion.  I have 
said before here that, in my view, there really is no such thing as "the" truth 
or even "a" truth.  Its simply one's perception of it--beit  a person, idea, 
theology  or event.  The need to be right or somehow prove that one person's 
perception is correct and therefore, another's is wrong, is at the  heart of 
our societal and global conflicts.
I think most of that is ego-driven, but to pretend or deny that humans don't 
have egos is equally foolish.  Its okay to have opinions, beliefs, values and 
moral constructs.   I think the danger of ego  in this is when one insists 
their viewiint is the only correct one.  
I agree with Chris-- great wisdom there when he suggests that when you do not 
respond to some flaming post or insult or complaint, you actually demonstrate 
greater emotional maturity, and they are aware you maintain your views, but are 
now moving on to the more important matters of your real life.
I also agree with Bill.  Such matters  cannot be analized in some logical 
frame.  If you have faith-- then  logic has little to do with it, and perhaps  
use  your  faith that perhaps your message will resonate somehow via less 
tangible means.
Now, as I am now facing a problem that started with internet discussion, but 
has now become a real life threat, I  must caution others to beware those 
on-line who indeed may have psychiatric buttons you do not want to inflame.
The man I've written about here who claims a lifetime of trauma , abuse, 
tragedy and drama is at it again.   After calmly making it clear to him that I 
will no longer be a part of his self-created dramas, but wish  him well-- the 
following events have unfolded..
I received an e-mail from a man claiming to be an ordained minister,  and 
friend of this man.  Telling me that ****  was in a serious car accident  and 
has been taken to a local hospital..  Stating that  the event  details were 
still unclear, but reassuring me this man is alive.  Etc., etc.. He offers his 
e-mail if I have questions or concers.. as if I must certainly be  anxiously  
awaiting any information on this tragic event.   

Certain that this is more of the same I  do not reply or respond. For people 
with this type of  psychological disorder which is to a large degree  
attention-seeking,  grandiose ideation, and other symtoms.  There is a bit of 
narcissisism, but his whole personality is more complex, and best left to be 
diagnosed by medical professionals.
But I do know the worst thing you can do to such a person is ignore them.  
Though it is the only appropriate and sane respomse or treatment. 
I received a second e-mail a day later stating that the car was totally 
destroyed, and  he had retrieved the personal belongings (and cell phone)  of 
our "friend", and encouraged me tio call him with support. He is being 
transferred to another hospital.   Reminding me to keep jim in our  heart and 
prayers. And so  and so on.
Again, I do not respond, and suspect that  the person writing the e-mails is 
indeed  my "friend" himself. 
This morning, i received a third e-mail from this minister friend of the man.  
Starting out with telling me that the man in the hospital had told  him a bit 
of what i said to him.. and could not believe how i could be so horrible to 
such a wonderful, decent, giving man  Etc., Etc.  It escalated into a temper 
tantrum on-line with capitalized  angry retorts and profanity.  (Ministers 
aren't  what they used to be) *sigh*
At this point, I know I'm dealing with a very unbalanced individual who is 
indeed in psychic pain.  But this is out of my league. I care deeply about 
prople and ache for every child on the globe. Not knowing  me, its hard  for 
anyone here to know  my  real heart or  values. I am not being cruel, I am 
doing  the right thing for him and myself. 
This is  hard on two levels.  First, this  man is much "sicker" than I 
realized, and I am personally afraid.  He has my address.  I have blocked his 
numbers from my phones, and will keep all e-mails in a folder for evidence.  
But this man does own firearms, is emotionally unstable and I got into this 
mess by just trying to be a friend  at an interfaith workshop and discussion 
It is times like this that  having a family of attorneys is comforting. I have 
contacted friends who are MD's and a psychiatrist, and explained the events.  I 
just want to be left alone, and let the medical personnel where he is sort this 
BUT~~  what if its all a lie? If he is seeing all these doctors,  they are 
going to pick up on this.  But if he is just a neurotic man behind a computer 
screen, I have reason to fear.
My point is-- sheezus--  take a breath.  Stand by your convictions if its 
important to you.  Let go.  The other option is surrender to listening to 
others views with a softened heart.  We all have the right to have our on 
viewpoint, so long as it does not hurt self or others. Or maybe get a new 
--- On Thu, 9/30/10, DP <wookielife...@yahoo.ca> wrote:

From: DP <wookielife...@yahoo.ca>
Subject: [Zen] More about arguments and ego
To: Zen_Forum@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, September 30, 2010, 12:51 PM


I've thought some more about my problrm with getting into arguments on the 
internet. I think that the internet has fueled a certain type of ugliness in 
arguments, with its tendency towards short comments that snipe at miniscule 
errors in one's posts. I want to walk away, and yet I hate the idea of the 
bullies winning the argument.

I find that in religious discussions the "internet atheists" (a specific term 
for these type of arguers, not all atheists) tend to crowd out people who want 
to sincerely discuss religion on particular forums, so I get frustrated. 

But here's where the ego comes in. Obviously, there is ego involved in winning 
an argument, but there is also some ego in leaving. I feel like I'm saying "i'm 
taking my ball and going home."

As well, i'm very insecure about my beliefs, and I feel like I'm somehow not 
worthy of my arguments. How does insecurity relate to ego, or is that a 
completely different question?


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