Anger and Buddhism
What Buddhism Teaches About Anger
By Barbara O'Brien, About.com Guide
http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/anger.htm
<http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/anger.htm>
Anger. Rage. Fury. Wrath. Whatever you call it, it happens to all of us,
including Buddhists. However much we value loving kindness, we Buddhists
are still human beings, and sometimes we get angry. What does Buddhism
teach about anger?
Anger is one of the three poisons the other two are greed and
ignorance that are the primary causes of the cycle of samsara and
rebirth. Purifying ourselves of anger is essential to Buddhist practice.
Further, in Buddhism there is no such thing as "righteous" or
"justifiable" anger. All anger is a fetter to realization.
Yet even highly realized masters admit they sometimes get angry. This
means that for most of us, not getting angry is not a realistic option.
We will get angry. What then do we do with our anger?
First, Admit You Are Angry
This may sound silly, but how many times have you met someone who
clearly was angry, but who insisted he was not? For some reason, some
people resist admitting to themselves that they are angry. This is not
skillful. You can't very well deal with something that you won't
admit is there.
Buddhism teaches mindfulness. Being mindful of ourselves is part of
that. When an unpleasant emotion or thought arises, do not suppress it,
run away from it, or deny it. Instead, observe it and fully acknowledge
it. Being deeply honest with yourself about yourself is essential to
Buddhism.
What Makes You Angry?
It's important to understand that anger is something created by
yourself. It didn't come swooping out of the ether to infect you. We
tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such
as other people or frustrating events. But my first Zen teacher used to
say, "No one makes you angry. You make yourself angry."
Buddhism teaches us that anger is created by mind. However, when you are
dealing with your own anger, you should be more specific. Anger
challenges us to look deeply into ourselves. Most of the time, anger is
self-defensive. It arises from unresolved fears or when our ego-buttons
are pushed.
As Buddhists we recognize that ego, fear and anger are insubstantial and
ephemeral, not "real." They're ghosts, in a sense. Allowing
anger to control our actions amounts to being bossed around by ghosts.
Anger Is Self-Indulgent
Anger is unpleasant but seductive. In this interview with Bill Moyer,
Pema Chodron says that anger has a hook. "There's something
delicious about finding fault with something," she said. Especially
when our egos are involved (which is nearly always the case), we may
protect our anger. We justify it and even feed it.
Buddhism teaches that anger is never justified, however. Our practice is
to cultivate metta, a loving kindness toward all beings that is free of
selfish attachment. "All beings" includes the guy who just cut
you off at the exit ramp, the co-worker who takes credit for your ideas,
and even someone close and trusted who betrays you.
For this reason, when we become angry we must take great care not to act
on our anger to hurt others. We must also take care not to hang on to
our anger and give it a place to live and grow.
How to Let It Go
You have acknowledged your anger, and you have examined yourself to
understand what caused the anger to arise. Yet you are still angry.
What's next?
Pema Chodron counsels patience. Patience means waiting to act or speak
until you can do so without causing harm. "Patience has a quality of
enormous honesty in it," she said. "It also has a quality of not
escalating things, allowing a lot of space for the other person to
speak, for the other person to express themselves, while you don't
react, even though inside you are reacting."
If you have a meditation practice, this is the time to put it to work.
Sit still with the heat and tension of anger. Quiet the internal chatter
of other-blame and self-blame. Acknowledge the anger and enter into it
entirely. Embrace your anger with patience and compassion for all
beings, including yourself.
Don't Feed Anger
It's hard not to act, to remain still and silent while our emotions
are screaming at us. Anger fills us with edgy energy and makes us want
to do something. Pop psychology tells us to pound our fists into pillows
or to scream at the walls to "work out" our anger. Thich Nhat
Hanh
<http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=1579>
disagrees.
"When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger
out of your system, but that's not true," he said. "When you
express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are
feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you." Only
understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.
Compassion Takes Courage
Sometimes we confuse aggression with strength and non-action with
weakness. Buddhism teaches that just the opposite is true.
Giving in to the impulses of anger, allowing anger to hook us and jerk
us around, is weakness. On the other hand, it takes strength to
acknowledge the fear and selfishness in which our anger usually is
rooted. It also takes discipline to meditate in the flames of anger.
The Buddha said, "Conquer anger by non-anger. Conquer evil by good.
Conquer miserliness by liberality. Conquer a liar by truthfulness."
(Dhammapada, v. 233) Working with ourselves and others and our lives in
this way is Buddhism. Buddhism is not a belief system, or a ritual, or
some label to put on your T-shirt. It's this.
Readers Respond: Working With Anger in Buddhist Practice Read responses
<http://buddhism.about.com/u/ua/basicbuddhistteachings/angercomments.htm\
> (28)
--- In [email protected], Maria Lopez <flordeloto@...> wrote:
>
> Could anyone tell me what is the difference between refraining and
repressing anger?. Don't know the answer to it. Does anyone know?.
This question came up in the "Wake Up" website in Scotland. The "Wake
Up" is the group for the youngster founded by TNH. I didn't do myself
subscription as I'm far of being in teens or twenties but since someone
in the group did for me I stayed with them. I've already clarify the age
issue and still they want me with them. Oh, well!.
>
> Mayka
