Hi Mayka, You ask some very thought-provoking questions. I'm currently enjoying the best relationship that I have ever experienced and hope that it will remain so for a very long time. I also understand, however, that like all phenomena it will not last forever. Strangely, I don't find this pessimistic at all. In fact, it stirs me to make the most out of each moment we're together. Btw, this is also how I'm coming to understand the issue of death - knowing that we die helps us to appreciate the time that we have left. Now, I don't think for one moment that the inevitable ending of my relationship will be painless, and I'm sure I will grieve for it, but the recognition that all phenomena are impermanent helps to end those little 'feel sorry for myself' stories of suffering before they even have a chance to begin. I think the grieving process is both natural and healthy up to a point and being a Buddhist/Zennist doesn't armour us from the effects of impermanence. And nor should it.
Mike
