Bummy,
Zazen could help you, there.
You do a fine thing in keeping up the mindfulness and wakefulness that you do,
during the activities of your day.
One can become even "better" at doing that by having a time in the day to
practice zazen, sitting meditation.
There's slow walking meditation to supplement this, too, between, say, two
periods of sitting.
And there's work-practice, carried out during the day, in which one gives all
attention to the task at hand, and does not let the mind waste energy by
wandering, or creating fantasies, or recalling music.
Anyway, there are many ways to practice. A lot of the routines of practice
have been worked out by monastic teachers during many centuries. As
non-monastics, it's still good to have a teacher, but we have to find our own
way to make things work for us.
Many of us find that it's good to attend sesshin a few times a year, the
one-week intensive meditation "retreat" that is typical of zen practice with a
teacher and a sangha. The structure of each day, and the construction made by
all the day's activities, are a model of life, in a way. One discovers things
about how tasks and events affect you, and one finds ways of turning the
awareness and the appreciation to make our participation in things more total,
less painful, and more in tune with all the company we are with, even though we
are doing our own work ourselves.
Have you had opportunity to attend sesshin, by the way? Do you find any of
what I say above to be true for you?
w/ Best wishes,
--Joe
> "Bummy McNeedy" <skotowms@...> wrote:
> Presence is not an easy thing, or even a light hearted thing, to sustain.
> This means being conscious of every action you take in every moment.
> I try doing this all the time, but am unable to do it even 25% of my day.
> [snip]
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