Hong is my surname ;-) agreed.
On Sun, Jan 20, 2013 at 11:33 PM, <[email protected]> wrote: > ** > > > ** Hong Yeong Soo (not sure which one is your surname :-p), > > It's better when the feelings are less 'mine'... > > What I forgot to mention is that this takes practising, can't happen over > a night or so... > > > Siska > ------------------------------ > *From: * [email protected] > *Sender: * [email protected] > *Date: *Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:23:00 -0600 > *To: *<[email protected]> > *ReplyTo: * [email protected] > *Subject: *Re: [Zen] Re: I have a problem with seperation anxiety and my > brother told me about zen. > > > > Siska > > that's similar to what i do. step back into non-judgemental awareness and > also gaining perspective. > > i think "using" zen to get rid of emotional/psychological baggage or > side-effects is a misperceived judgement of what zen practice is about. > Joe's recommendation was very sincere and wise. even some relaxation > techniques or group therapy would be healthy as well. > > Wm, the fact that you immediately became defensive might also help you to > see some deeper resentments you hold. zen can help you drop those. > > hongyeongsoo > > On Sun, Jan 20, 2013 at 9:11 PM, Merle Lester <[email protected]>wrote: > >> ** >> >> >> yes siska..that is a good technique as long as the depression >> lifts....merle >> >> >> >> Hello Wm, >> >> I'm sure you are not crazy and I don't think that is what Joe implied. I >> haven't been with zen practice for long, but have done quite a bit of this >> and that with meditation. >> >> There is this practice that I'd like to share with you, which may help. >> It's not that cool meditation type where you'd sit still for hours and be >> peaceful and joyful, but it sorts of help with anxieties or depression (or >> so, I have found). >> >> What I do is, I just open myself to that unpleasant feeling of >> depression, sadness or whatever and be in 'okay-have-a-go' attitude towards >> those feelings. At the same time, I try to keep strong awareness, observing >> the feelings as if they were not mine and just 'look' at them. Funny how it >> would slowly dissolve once you begin to be able to look at it in a more >> dettached way. The more you fight against the depression, hating the >> feelings, wanting them to go away, the stronger they become and the more >> you suffer. >> >> This may not be pure meditation, it may also not be entirely in >> accordance to Zen. But it works alright with me, perhaps you'll find it >> helpful too. >> >> Be well, >> >> Best wishes, >> Siska >> ------------------------------ >> *From: * "wmcashierslave" <[email protected]> >> *Sender: * [email protected] >> *Date: *Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:53:52 -0000 >> *To: *<[email protected]> >> *ReplyTo: * [email protected] >> *Subject: *[Zen] Re: I have a problem with seperation anxiety and my >> brother told me about zen. >> >> >> IT's not a problem so big I need a doctor, it's just something that >> happened when my mother died. The thing I mentioned was crying w hen my >> brothers leave and getting depressed and nausiated becuase of being apart >> from them. it doesnt last forever, just a few days maybe less than that. I >> dont need a shrink. I need to kick this problem and mood medications wont >> help. I am not that far gone, I just need to practice some things to make >> me feel more at peace. People jump to conclusions and thinks "see a doctor >> or "Shrink" no im not that far gone I just want some peace and to kick a >> small problem. zen isnt a religon. Some people use it to feel peace in the >> world, so far on these groups people jump to conclusions and think im crazy >> or something. No im not..zen is a part of buddism but it's not beinb >> budist..I know a christiam woman who uses zen practices to attain peace and >> she meditates and it helps. I dont need a doctor or a shrink..thanks for >> the help but im not crazy and I dont appricate it either. Im gone..ill do >> this on my own it's apparent nobody will help me out and educate me as to >> mediation basic practices..they want to jump to conclusions in group and >> make someone like me with small problems she wants to overcome, look like >> she needs a straight jacket. I know myself not you. >> >> --- In [email protected], "Joe" wrote: >> > >> > Wm., >> > >> > I suppose the phenomena you mention are indeed, are in fact, a problem >> to you if you think or feel that they are. >> > >> > I don't know yet if Zen practice is a way to help you with them. >> > >> > There may be other, more immediate, ways. >> > >> > But I know that any event or force or reason that brings us to Zen >> practice is a fortunate one. I mean, we are lucky to make contact with Zen >> practice. It usually does all people good who take it up and continue. But >> that can come later. >> > >> > I think it's more immediately called-for that you get some relief from >> the current manifestations somehow. How can you do it? What comes to mind? >> Is there enough time in the free week to see a talk therapist or counselor >> of some kind? >> > >> > On the other hand, I know that in Zen practice, sometimes certain >> purifications occur to people spontaneously on intensive 7-day retreats >> with their teachers and practice group. People will sometimes cry for >> several hours, or laugh, and sometimes cry first and then laugh. These >> purifications leave them exhausted, but very settled and calm, and then >> they can practice to a very deep level. Not everyone goes through this, or >> needs to, and everyone is different when it comes to Zen practice (which is >> why an experienced and qualified Zen teacher is so valuable). >> > >> > The shedding of emotion is physical, just as the bottling-up of emotion >> is physical in its effects. It may be that the separation anxiety you >> experience is "just" a trigger to the emotion that can apparently be >> released by you so readily. You may in fact be fortunate to have such a >> trigger. Some people are rather "hardened", and even though they sense or >> feel that they must release emotion, they cannot DO it! You know best about >> your situation, though: the anxiety or other manifestations may not just be >> from a simple trigger acting to release emotions from many other sources: >> maybe it's all emotion due to the recent losses and current separations. >> > >> > If you have a general doctor, a general physician, may I please urge >> you to see him or her soon?, just to mention what's going on? If you're >> willing, the Doc can refer you quickly to someone who can help even better. >> But please, please see the Doc, first. There are certain nutritional needs >> that can cause extra sensitivities if they are deficient, and sometimes one >> person needs lots more of something versus another person, depending on our >> digestive system's ability to absorb certain minerals, etc. Even a lack of >> Iron (!) has such effects, and is very simple to fix! >> > >> > If you don't yet HAVE a general doctor, may I also please suggest that >> you see one soon. You can find one or pick one, maybe by getting a >> recommendation from a friend or family member. Or else, just go to the >> Yellow Pages (the book in your house, or else online), and look under >> "Doctors", and call one or two, or three. It's easy. No biggie. And worth >> every penny to get a vitamin or mineral deficiency "fixed" quick. >> > >> > That's the route I would take. See a Doc. Tell about what's going on. >> Ask if there are vitamin deficiency tests the doc would order. If the tests >> come back OK, then the Doc will know what else to suggest, by way of tests, >> or a simple visit with someone to talk to. It's not rocket science! But I >> would have the physical stuff checked, first. Our food is not as nutritious >> as it used to be! >> > >> > Wishing you well. >> > >> > Please keep us posted? >> > >> > Or perhaps you already know that you are in the best of health. If not, >> don't hesitate to use your time-off to find out: it's that important!, and >> easy! And it will be very satisfying and lead to another stage of life. >> Even if the Doc gives you a clean bill of health immediately, you'll feel >> better for that, too. >> > >> > Do the simple stuff first! >> > >> > Best, >> > >> > --Joe / Arizona >> > >> > > "wmcashierslave" wrote: >> > > >> > > My brother and I are from two different religons, but since my mother >> died in 08 I suffer from seperation anxiety when he leaves or my older >> brother and his family leaves. When I know it's time for them to leave I >> feel my guts tie in knots and I get nausiated and depressed and cry. they >> leave and I am depressed for a few good hours. >> > > >> > > This time my brother told me about the zen approache to life. I am a >> christian but I found I can use the zen ways to overcome my emotions, learn >> to meditate and over come crying and depression nausia and feeling terrible >> after they leave for a week or so. This time he talked to me and gave me a >> few practices to repeat to myself, hate that emotional problem, be free of >> it, it's useless and only makes me feel bad and is not good for me. I dont >> need it. >> > > >> > > I would like you guys to help me use zen to free myself of anger, >> depression seperation anxiety and work, I work retail and got so angry at >> work and life that I took a week off. I need to master my emotions...my >> brother said finding a good forum of people to help me with new zen >> techniques would help. I am a newbie to the zen world so if you dont >> mind...I do need to kick this problem...it's not doing me any good and I >> dont need to feel this way it's useless and I hate it. >> > > >> > >> >> >> >> > >
