Hi Ryunen,
Indeed English is not my first language, and often my thoughts limped when typing too fast, so I do apologize for not being able to make myself clear yesterday.
If I remember correctly, Daomou (that's the Chinese name we used for one very famous Indian Monk who came and taught Buddhism in China), it took him 9 years faced the wall in a cave to find the enlightenment of his ways. That was the part that I referred to 'sit down and face wall, which I meant going through very serious deep reflection as Daomou had done at his time.
Personally I think there are again two layers of 'not knowing', one is unconsciously unknowing which can be many reasons, e.g. stupidity or simply not sensitive enough or never bothered with self-reflection process, etc.; and the other is, of course, intentionally to ignore. The way I understand about the non-conceptuality means that person is able to reach the level of vigilance. For me, that is the toughest one comparing with abstaining from carnal pleasure, hearing,seeing,tasting and smelling.
As regards to the "Not knowing" arises in the meditation, it reminds me one conversation I had with a Belgian Tai Chi trainer who invited me to give Chinese tea ceremony to his students two years ago. At that time, he tried to tell his students that they should be able to see 'things' in the meditation. I first did not dare to say a word, until he asked me if I saw 'thing' when I did my meditation. My answer to him then was, "I have no intention to see or not to see anything prior to meditation, perhaps there are colors or shadows floating through my eyes during the process, and I have no intention to catch either one of them and try to interpret what I have seen, so when I finish my meditation I feel relax and refreshing. My goal in meditation is to relax my mind, body and spirit."
When giving the negotiation course to business executives, often people asked for my opinion about who is the great negotiator in the world. My standard answer is "The moment anyone thinks s/he is the greatest, s/he has stopped her/his own progress; the greatest negotiators are those who constantly in the learning pipeline.". I have the same thinking in the Zen learning.
Best regards,
Agnes
jayryunen <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hi Agnes,
I'm going to try this a little bit at a time. I want to be careful, because I think English is
not your first language? and maybe you are not saying what you think you are. This is
not meant as a put down, your English is very good, but I have a friend from Ecuador
whose first language is Spanish and if we are not careful, we can really confuse
ourselves. =)
> I am not afraid of sitting down and facing the wall for long time, what I am afraid is
not able to sense and know when it's happened.
**I'm not at all sure what you are talking about here. I don't think you are not aware of
when you sit down facing a wall, so you must be referring to something else.
For me, not knowing is more horrify than knowing, because the processing of searching
to know helps me to make decision of each step to take; but not knowing will make me
fly as an endless fly. I want to learn and maintain my capability to smile when the day is
dark and depressed.
** >Not knowing< is sometimes used in Zen to signify non-conceptuality, which is
different from ignorance or stupidity, which is how not knowing is commonly used. This
is a place where a common term has a slightly different meaning than the "technical"
term. For the time being, let's just say that the Zen >not knowing< arises in meditation,
when the mental chatter gets quiet.
On the other hand, recognizing that we really don't know what's going to happen from
moment to moment is deeply frightening. It's a fundamental, instinctual uneasiness that
generally drives all our actions. Rather than forever trying to make the unease go away
by following greed and ill-will, in meditation we sit down and get comfortable with it.
Thoroughly coming to know the various threads of how this unease drives us is part of
the liberation process.
> What have happened in my previous life that I don't know, besides it has already
happened, so why bother to dig the 'why' questions all the time? What will happen in the
next life is not in entirely in my hands to control; ONLY this moment is in my hands.
Sometimes it is useful to know why and sometimes not. As we sit, we begin to see how
"this moment" touches eternity, is never separate and is conditioned by past and future.
The teachings are that your next life is your responsibility; your actions now determine
your future karma or mental environment.
> Those who love and have been kind to me, I remember them always with heartedly
gratitude; but to those have hurt and hammed me down, my appreciations to them are
even greater because they helped me to become a better person, wiser and learned to
accept the learning as a part of passages in this life, that I shouldn't have anger or
revenge but forgiveness heart and mind.
Yes, that is the very best way to arise. I am very glad you have cultivated it.
Agnes, I hope these remarks have helped. Please always remember I am a student too,
and my understanding may not be correct. I can only try to convey what I have been
taught, and generally try to stick to what I have realized in my own practice.
The ability to quote others is useful, but it does not confer wisdom, compassion, or
enlightenment. If any of us here on this list are able to help you, it's only through the
kindness of our teachers.
Blessings,
Ryunen
Noble Eightfold Path: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration, Right Livelihood
Noble Eightfold Path: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration, Right Livelihood
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