Rod Scholl's intimations are completely disgusting --
so much so, that if there are any children or
sensitive people reading this letter, I suggest that
they stop now and not read what I am about to
describe. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and
talk in general terms about how a day of reckoning is
coming, and Rod will be called to account. Then, I'll
back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to
start with the general stuff, Rod wants to make
conditions far worse than could ever have been the
case without his spineless efforts. Why he wants that,
I don't know, but that's what he wants. If anything,
he thinks that doing the fashionable thing is more
important than life or liberty. However, a careful
appraisal of his catch-phrases raises some
thought-provoking issues. Rod likes effusions that
conceal information and, occasionally, blatantly lie.
Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you
were to ask me, I'd say that he keeps saying that
classism is the key to world peace. Isn't that claim
getting a little shopworn? I mean, he is our worst
nightmare. What's my problem, then? Allow me to
present it in the form of a question: Whatever
happened to community standards? To answer that
question, we need first to consider Rod's thought
process, which generally takes the following form: (1)
We should avoid personal responsibility, so (2) he is
a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose.
Therefore, (3) his refrains are a breath of fresh air
amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos and
thus, (4) everyone and everything discriminates
against him -- including the writing on the bathroom
stalls. As you can see, Rod's reasoning makes no
sense, which leads me to believe that his campaigns
often lash audiences of the most useless mob bosses
you'll ever see into wild storms of applause. I know
you're wondering why I just wrote that. I'll explain
shortly, but first, I should state that Rod is an
inspiration to barbaric, gloomy card sharks
everywhere. They panegyrize his crusade to dilute the
nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice
and, more importantly, they don't realize that if it
weren't for prolix ivory-tower academics, Rod would
have no friends. 

Isn't it historically demonstrated that like much
conventional wisdom, Rod's announcements contain too
much convention and not enough wisdom? I ask, because
if he can one day agitate for indoctrination programs
in local schools, then the long descent into night is
sure to follow. (Yes, Rod makes decisions based on
random things glamorized by the press and the
resulting rantings of craven enemies of the people,
but that's a different story.) As you can see, I,
hardheaded cynic that I am, have to wonder where he
got the idea that it is my view that society is
screaming for his deeds. This sits hard with me,
because it is simply not true, and I've never written
anything to imply that it is. Believe it or not, I
really want to believe that he is a decent, honest
person. Unfortunately, as is often the case, what I
want to believe proves to be fantasy. The truth is
that we've all heard Rod yammer and whine about how
he's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. 

Judging by the generally randy nature of his
apologists, I can see that he wonders why everyone
hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that
maybe it's because given a choice of having him remake
the world to suit his own power-hungry needs or having
my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace
the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call
it a day. When you reflect upon this, you'll realize
that Rod intends to create a new social class.
Headlong, voluble moochers, disgraceful busybodies,
and inhumane utopians will be given aristocratic
status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as
their flunkies. 

Even if one isn't completely conversant with current
events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that
it's easy for us to shake our heads at his foolishness
and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we
should place a high value on honor and self-respect.
It's easy for us to say, "I have sincerely had enough
of Rod's airy-fairy talk of 'maybe this or maybe
that'." The point is that it's easy for us to say
these things because Rod's subliminal psywar campaigns
will have consequences -- very serious consequences.
And we ought to begin doing something about that.
There are some insane common blood-stained criminals
who are execrable. There are also some who are
gruesome. Which category does Rod fall into? If the
question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both". 

He likes to cite poll results that "prove" that this
is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the
best of all possible people. Really? Have you ever
been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are
good that you never have been contacted and never will
be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Rod
extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by
chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an
untruth, by an injustice. As I make no claim to be an
authority on the subject, I defer to the judgments of
an Oxford University professor, who has observed that
Rod wants me to stop trying to establish clear,
justifiable definitions of revisionism and pharisaism,
so that you can defend a decision to take action when
his lieutenants redefine humanity as alienated
machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they
were never human to begin with. Instead, he'd rather I
have to fight with one hand tied behind my back.
Sorry, but I don't accept defeat that easily. 

None but the fastidious can deny that it may seem
difficult at first to appeal not to the contented and
satisfied, but embrace those tormented by suffering,
those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented.
It is. But he somehow manages to maintain a straight
face when saying that the best way to make a point is
with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled
primarily with exclamation points. I am greatly
grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic
storytelling which is the resultant of layers of
social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the
fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and
cognitively enlightened civilization. The purpose of
this letter is far greater than to prove to you how
hopeless and superficial Rod has become. The purpose
of this letter is to get you to start thinking for
yourself, to start thinking about how his particular
brand of foul isolationism will represent a threat to
all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the
world, by next weekend. Now that that's cleared up,
I'll continue with what I was saying before, that he
constantly insists that cannibalism, wife-swapping,
and the murder of infants and the elderly are
acceptable behavior. But he contradicts himself when
he says that his way of life is correct and everyone
else's isn't. Of course, Rod throws the word
"dendrochronological" around as if it had the same
meaning to everyone. I always catch hell whenever I
say something like that, so let me assure you that he
never tires of trying to extinguish fires with
gasoline. Rod presumably hopes that the magic formula
will work some day. In the meantime, he seems to have
resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells
us that in order to convince us that he holds a
universal license that allows him to borrow money and
spend it on programs that gum up what were once great
ideas, Rod often turns to the old propagandist trick
of comparing results brought about by entirely
dissimilar causes. Now, I don't mean for that to sound
pessimistic, although what I wrote just a moment ago
is not the paranoid rambling of a self-indulgent
wacko. It's a fact. 

Some people don't seem to mind that Rod likes to
waffle on all the issues. What a combative world we
live in! He maintains that either children should get
into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy
at them or that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal
virtues. Rod denies any other possibility. It strikes
me as amusing that he complains about people who do
nothing but complain. Well, news flash! Rod does
nothing but complain. 

A day without Rod would be like a day without huffy
militarism. To cap that off, we must protect innocent,
little children from immoral ignoramuses like Rod. As
mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is
necessary to do more. It is necessary to resolve our
disputes without violence. We must exemplify the
principles of honor, duty, loyalty, and courage. Only
then can a society free of his unsympathetic notions
blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only
then will people come to understand that if we don't
push a consistent vision that responds to most
people's growing fears about the worst sorts of
insincere saboteurs I've ever seen right now, then
Rod's perceptions will soon start to metastasize until
they destroy the values, methods, and goals of
traditional humanistic study. Rod can go on saying
that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun
marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to
some mythical 1950s Shangri-la, but the rest of us
have serious problems to deal with that preclude our
indulging in such impolitic dreams just now. Lest I
seem like a hypocrite, I should tell you that if we
contradict him, we are labelled jejune desperados. If
we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. 

Even though he insists that he has been robbed of all
he does not possess, I unmistakably claim that anyone
with eyes and a brain can tell that this is not the
first time I've wanted to improve the physical and
spiritual quality of life for the population at
present and for those yet to come. But it is the first
time I realized that if you don't think that this view
dangerously underestimates the crazy quality of
fogyism, then you've missed the whole point of this
letter. Rod's credos are designed to scapegoat easy,
unpopular targets, thereby diverting responsibility
from more culpable parties. And they're working;
they're having the desired effect. 

In these days of political correctness and the
changing of how history is taught in schools to
fulfill a particular agenda, Rod will do everything in
his power to doctor evidence and classification
systems and make cacodemonic generalizations to
support rotten, preconceived views. No wonder
corruption is endemic to our society; Rod is entirely
evil. We all are, to some extent, but he sets the
curve. Every so often, you'll see Rod lament, flog
himself, cry mea culpa for seeking to exert more and
more control over other individuals, and vow never
again to be so unpleasant. Sadly, he always reverts to
his old behavior immediately afterwards, making me
think that there is a proper place in life for hatred.
Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and
valuable tool. But when Rod perverts hatred in order
to incite racial hatred, it becomes clear that I
decidedly dislike him. Likes or dislikes, however, are
irrelevant to observed facts, such as that the last
time I told Rod's lackeys that I want to establish
democracy and equality, they declared in response,
"But Rod is a paragon of morality and wisdom." Of
course, they didn't use exactly those words, but
that's exactly what they meant. Rod's witticisms have
paid off: already, Rod has had some success in his
efforts to cure the evil of discrimination with more
discrimination. He condones the disruptive accusations
that will boss others around. So, sorry for being so
long-winded in this letter, but Rod Scholl is a sore
loser.


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generator, used to generate the above complaint:

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