Not me in any case. It isn't the experience that causes the problem, 
it isn't the memory of the experience either. It is the *you* which 
was created in that experience which arises with the memory of it. 
Like internet personae, we tend to live the lives we have created to 
fit with the people we create ourselves to be. You don't need to give 
up or try to forget those memories, how could you since they are laid 
down in the physical connections in the biology of the brain? But to 
see that particular persona who carries the pain of them and know 
that it is not *you*. You have glimpsed what it is to be free. How 
you become free depends on which path you take.

Gassho


Eryu  


--- In [email protected], "mudmessiah" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> I feel very close to freedom, now I am at a point in which I am not 
> unsure of the way to go, I have to give up not just the painful 
life 
> experiences, but also the joyous ones as well. It is easy to give 
up 
> the experience of suffering, but difficult to give up the blessed, 
> love-filled ones. The situation started like this: 
>    I met a new-age psychiatrist a few weeks ago, she practices NLP, 
> neuro-linguistic-programming. She demonstrated with me a technique 
to 
> release the memory of my ex-wife, the resentment of which had me 
> emotionally incapacitated. I found the hold this memory had on my 
> life was gone (at least is was for about two weeks, more about that 
> later.) 
>    Suddenly, I had this great creative release, in that short 
period 
> I created a new television show, written in three bursts, I wrote a 
> commercial (which will blow you all away,) two songs and a new set 
of 
> lyrics for an old country ballad AND business which had languished 
> for months started getting getting finished, and list goes on... 
>    Then, by an off-chance my recollections were triggered and I 
> stopped dead in my tracks. Thanks to my previous experience, now I 
> knew what to do... I had to get rid of every recollection I had of 
> every event in my life, and not just the failures but the successes 
> as well; if I wished to be truly free. There's the rub... as it 
were! 
>    As I started loading up all my recollections of my life to get 
rid 
> of them, I got to some of the most beautiful and loving ones, and I 
> couldn't do it and as of yet... I haven't. But all those things 
have 
> to go if I was to let the even more beautiful and breathtaking 
spirit 
> were to ever pass through me. 
>    I kind of felt that this kind of enlightenment wasn't a 
> brightening of my brain... something to be added to my life, but a 
> life entirely not my own. Kind of like a fluorescent light where 
> light emerges from an outside current flowing through the tube. I 
> have seen it and it is wonderous. What it burns... what is uses to 
> fluoresce... is my soul. 
>    What a high price! The 'price of admission' to a new and 
wonderful 
> life is the memory of my daughter swinging from my hand... the 
> reminescence of the love... my dog had for me. I felt that I would 
> remember them, but only as some black and white photo instead of 
the 
> vivid color print filled with the love for her and joy in 
friendship. 
> Was I being asked to shed personal joy to gain esctasy and play the 
> music of the spheres. Personal joy blended with personal loss was 
> ectatic too... maybe ecstacy enough... for someone who was after 
all, 
> just a man. 
>    Yet I have seen a great light, and I feel drawn to it... because 
> of its beauty and because the answers seem to be there. As I have 
> just related, I have recently been examining my life; and, it seems 
> that I have always been preparing (and been prepared!) for some 
great 
> thing. I have met person's who were supposedly dead, the premiere 
> Wiccan... Old Dorothy. I once drove with the guy who started 
> Eckankar, only to find out later the guy had been dead six months. 
I 
> slept on the floor of the Door's practice studio, close friends 
with 
> Jim Morrison and helped lead him on the Eve of his fame. I can 
hardly 
> relate a lifetimes of coincidents and things... miraculous! (I know 
> Buddha avoided the miraculous!) I guess I am sharing this because I 
> saw your picture (if it was you???) on the member's page and felt I 
> needed to talk to someone who might understand.




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Current Book Discussion: Appreciate Your Life by Taizan Maezumi Roshi 
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