--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "ispiritkin" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Hi Shemp ~ I know you weren't writing to me in this post, but all of > your same questions could just as well apply to stuff I've gone > through. So for you and Bhairitu, I'll give a shot at explaining > this from an angle besides Radha's. > > By the way, Radha, you have my sympathy, plus kudos for gaining > strength and pulling through, and for putting this before the world > with the guts it takes to inspire better behavior in people. > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "shempmcgurk" wrote: > > Do you not feel any responsibility at all for what happened? > > Of course I feel responsibility for playing the dupe, for being naive > and gullible. Those were faults of mine that needed to be fixed. > They were my faults, my responsibility. Recognizing my contribution > to the situation is part of the healing process. > > > And you entered into the original guru-disciple > > relationship willingly and without coersion. > > I entered into the relationship willingly and with ignorance. (Mine > was not a guru-disciple relationship, but the same principles > apply.) I believed my partner was acting from the same set of > principles, motivations, and belief system that I was, but I was > wrong. > > > I have alot of problem not only with people "giving" > > themselves over -- lock, stock, and barrel -- to gurus > > in other spiritual movements such as Muktananda's > > I agree with you that it's a mistake to give oneself over, too, but > it still happens to people of good intentions. Sometimes, quite > often I would guess, it's like falling in love, which is what > happened to me. Falling in love causes so much foolishness and so > many mistakes, but it happens to all kinds of people all over the > world. It's a human foible. Watching one's friends go through it - - > and knowing that NOTHING can be done but wait until after the fall to > pick up the pieces -- that's an exercise in patience and compassion. > > > Aren't you setting yourself up for the kind of thing > > that happened to you? > > And to let it happen again and again and again over years? > > Aaaaaabsolutely! Other people had a hand in the set-up too. Like > anyone in an authority position who preached that I must submit my > mind to theirs -- that my thoughts were not worth as much as theirs, > or that my thoughts were dismissible and their thoughts were to take > the place of my own. Parents do this, churches do this, governments > do this. It's a way of life around the world. > > Furthermore, a person can be shown example after example in OTHER > people's lives and think, "Oh, that could never happen to me -- I'd > be smarter than THAT, I could see THAT coming, no one could get away > with THAT with ME..." I know because I said those things, I totally > believed that I would never be as naive and gullible and foolish as > the women I read about. I was so superior! And then it happened to > me and WOW -- was I humbled! > > > And to then deny to yourself that it happened for years > > after...even years after the alleged perpetrator dies? > > The levels of denial involved can be astounding, totally boggling. > But completely sincere. > > > But, for God's sake, he put his penis inside your vagina. > > What the hell did you think was going on? > > Well, duhh, loving me, guiding me, helping me along my path because > he knew the way where I'd never been before. Worshipping me, needing > me, in ways that I didn't fathom because he was such a mystery, such > a wonderful, revered, and monumental mystery.
...doesn't sound like abuse to me. If you're unhappy about the direction the relationship ultimately took then it sounds like miscommunication, not abuse. > > > None of this is meant to mock you, Shemp, Bhairitu, and others who > wonder these things. I mock myself if I mock you because I asked > these exact same questions. I had the exact same incredulity when I > heard the stories of others, that is, until it happened to me. Then, > and only then, I knew a little of the depths where these women have > been. >
