Oh Honey, don't say that. You didn't kill Grayson. You didn't wake up
on top of him, you woke up with him lower on your body and you moved him
back up. There's no way you could possibly know he stopped breathing
because you suffocated him, or because he simply stopped breathing.
Even if you had inadvertently smothered him, you still didn't kill that
baby. The state of the world is what killed that baby. You, my dear,
saved him. I'm very sorry that he's gone, I can just imagine your shock
and grief. I guess I should have been talking about how likely this
outcome could be, but I wanted to think positively about his chances,
and let's face it, no matter how prepared we are, we're never prepared
enough. Please don't play the what if game with this. What if you had
left him in the bathroom, covered with towels and a heating pad? What
if he'd died alone in the bathroom and hadn't gotten the opportunity to
see what it was liked to be cuddled and loved? You'd be kicking
yourself harder than you are right now. No, you did everything right.
From the moment you went back into that house, to when you took him to
bed with you. No matter how sad I am about Grayson leaving us, I won't
accept anything else. He was a little fighter with a heart big enough
to cause people around the country to fall in love with him. The little
guy has my undying love and all the tears he deserves, and so do you,
N.
catatonya wrote:
I just woke and Grayson was dead. I think I smothered him. I think
2:30 was the last time he woke me up to be fed. I had him up by my
neck but remember finding him sleeping down next to me at one point
and moving him back up. I guess it didn't cross my mind at the time
that he should have been screaming for food at that point. I just
moved him back up higher on the bed and covered him in his little
towel and fell back asleep. When I woke again I wondered why he
hadn't cried yet or moved over to my neck. He was dead because I had
killed him.
tonya
- Re: I killed Grayson Nina
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