Friends, if you don't mind, first of all, accept yourself, then only you may
be accepted by others. ----- Original Message -----
From: "turab chimthanawala" <turab...@gmail.com>
To: "AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning
the disabled." <accessindia@accessindia.org.in>
Sent: Sunday, April 8, 2018 02:49 PM
Subject: Re: [AI] Disclosing or not disclosing the visual impairment
Hi Alvesh,
Well my experience regarding disclosing or not disclosing my
disability is as under:
As I have partial blindness, in the initial years of my life, I tried
to behave as far as possible like a sighted person, trying to do
things their way, greatly hesitating to ask for reasonable
accomodations and most importantly trying to conceal my disability.
The upshot of this was lack of confidence, loneliness, mental stress
and greater dependence. In the last few years when I have internalised
my disability, life has become much more interesting. It relieves a
lot of mental and physical stress as there is no unnecessarily
compulsion to appear 'normal'. As regards others, the moment we accept
ourselves, it would not take long for others to accept us. And if
people have a problem, better not have them in our lives. Also, the
moment I have decided to accept my disability, people instead of
alienating me, respect and admire me even more for being able to
overcome my disability and take keen interest as to how I perform
routine tasks in my unique way. As regards repeated questions
regarding some sensitive issues, there is always an option to politely
request to pass the question. Moreover, however hard you try,
ultimately people will become aware of your condition as you are bound
to struggle at some or the other point.
Hence, like others, I also suggest to disclose rather than conceal
your disability. I feel the white stick is an excellent tool to
discretely let people know of our blindness. Hence, you could start
using your stick, if you have not already.
Best
Turab
On 4/7/18, Umesh <umeshkasa...@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi
Though it is not particularly necessary for me to comment on the topic
As many notable personalities have already provided their brilliant
suggestions, still I’d love to contribute to the discussion to the
best of my understanding
Persons with not-so-obvious visibility of disability generally go
through the dilemma that you are facing(primarily speaking from my own
experience). Frankly agreeing with you, both options(hiding and
not-hiding of disability) do have their pros and cons. But we are best
served only if we are able to make the better suitable course of
action.
We can tackle this situation by employing two simple thumb-rules.
First is lesser harm thesis which would suggest to choose the lesser
evil. This reasoning would lead us to the path of not-hiding the
disability. Second, not going for a rigid pattern. It is to suggest
that in the case where you feel that you can be cheated if the
person(s) interacting with your is/are likely to use your disability
as an exploitable point, you can rightly choose to hide your
disability. For example, while travelling alone you can choose this
path.
To help you decide you can also ponder over the emotional loss that
this adopted approach of hiding the disability is causing to your
existence. It is doing damage on various levels. First, it is
effectively alienating you from your being. Second, it hinders you
from being the best coppy of yourself. Third, it forces you to live a
life of perpetual dilemma! The loss may vary according to your
specifications.
I’ll sign out by recording that hiding or not-hiding should not be a
deliberate thing in the sense that one tries one’s best to do either
of the two. If it is natural; then it is not a problem. The problem
creaps in when one materialises the hiding or otherwise by a special
effort. Exception to the rule holds that the deliberate hiding is
allowed only if it saves you from some foreseeable ordeal.
I hope it helps
Wishing you, and many other like you, all the best.
On 4/7/18, Nagababu Arepalli <nagababu...@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi,
please do not look for small benefits. you may need to face bigger
problems in future if, you hide your disability.
there is nothing rong in disclosing your disability.
you will be recognised with your character, atitude and your
qualificationsa.
and all humanbeeings will have some diffect in there body. so, no need
to hide disability.
this is my opinion do not take it otherwise.
On 4/7/18, Alvesh Shokeen <alveshshok...@gmail.com> wrote:
Some time there are benefits of not disclosing the disability, and
behaving as you were a sighted guy. For example, no one can cheat us
if he is not getting the clue that I am a vision impaired guy, and
people will not ask unnecessary questions!
As I have faced some aukward situations, asking for help people asked
me uncumfirtable questions, like your eyes are looking quite ok, are
you telling lie? How much can you see, can you identify which colour
shirt I am wearing? can you see the girls coming and going? Therefore
I deliberetly avoid to disclose my disability to avoid these
unwelcomed and aukward situations. But I can say, I am losing more by
hiding my disability, as people don't get the clue what kind of help I
require? And people think I am avoiding them by not greeding them with
hi and goodmorning etc. The other embarrassing situation I face at the
time of shaking the hands meeting someone. As sometime I can not
figure out that he has raised his hand to shake?
And also I am not visually impaired for long, I have a hard time to
distinguish the people by their voice. By the way, guide me for
getting good counseling material to learn with my disability.
On 4/6/18, Sandeep Singh <sandeepsingh...@gmail.com> wrote:
And believe me, friend, George sir is a most respected personality
applauded by all sections of the society despite his blindness. We
have lots of people on our list, Ms Kanchan and Ms Priti, Mr Pranay
and Mr Prashant, and so many veterans and youngsters who have a
special place in the society and are loved and respected by all. You
are a capable person, don't hide your disability, sensitize people
instead. I recently organized a program where I asked a young lady
doing Engineering to wear a blindfold and identify currency notes. I
asked people to do activities pretending they were disabled of some
kind and they understood how much we can do despite our physical
limitations.
So, go ahead and enjoy life, don't mind those who don't accept you,
make merry with those who accept you and love you.
Best regards
Sandeep
On 4/6/18, George Abraham <geo...@eyeway.org> wrote:
I have been through the same situation. Thought the World would
reject
me.
Life was lived under great tension. But friend, the day I stopped
pretending, I discovered a whole new life of freedom and fun. Life is
determined by who you are, what you think and how you carry yourself.
It
becomes very dangerous when you try to mould your life basis the
World's
expectation of you. So "Stop pretending and start living."
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
Behalf
Of Alvesh Shokeen
Sent: Friday, April 6, 2018 11:46 AM
To: accessindia
Subject: [AI] Disclosing or not disclosing the visual impairment
Hey list members, I am a partially blind person, I can manage most of
the
chores at my own. People don't get easily that I am visually impaired
person. But this is true that I hide my disability, for instance, on
the
dining table I pretent that I don't like sweets in order to avoid the
embarrassment of asking where is the sweet kept on the table. I avoid
social
functions just to make sure that no one is knowing the magnitude of
my
vision condition. I am unable to become very social, thinking that
people
will not like me on the account of my disability.
In order to hide my disability, I have to secrify a lot! I hide my
disability just because of the matter of the fact that in my society
disabled people are looked with pity, and no one will respect me and
my
parants after knowing that I am disabled person. Though I am central
government employee, still people will doubt on my ability and
education,
they will say that he got the job under quota reserved for
handicapped
persons. Therefore till now, I am hiding my disability wherever
possible.
Kindly suggest me how to live a good life with the disability with
full
confidence. . I always think that why it happened to me, while whole
world
is enjoying with their sight. When I think of future married life, I
am
clueless that how will I manage children and all, their education and
then
their marriage etc. I feel life is useless with out sight.
Kindly help me in coming out from this liquidating attitude.
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--
[Sincerely,]
Nagababu Arepalli national law university odisha,
cuttack
B.A,LL.B
PH: +919000963966>+918688071288
mail ID:
nagababu...@gmail.com
nagababuna...@gmail.com
11ba...@nluo.ac.in
Skype:
nagababuarepalli
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